posted February 21, 2012 10:40 PM            

Also, I wasn't sure what was the cause of this but I figured it had to do with me, others so that's why I mentioned those houses specifically. I also didn't know if it was transits at this time, or what.

I don't mean to be rude but I also would appreciate a minimum of lectures, outside of astrology, on what to look for in a mate... I know quality and not quantity is everything and I also acknowledge I have imperfections or not everyone will like me or what have you. I just don't need a refresher on that right now.

posted February 22, 2012 04:29 AM            

You asked me to check out this post so I figured I would give it a shot.

The first thing that stands out to me about your chart, is the transformation theme. Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune all hang out in your 7th House. Pluto in the 5th House opposes your Moon in the 11th. And the final transformation planet, Eris is conjunct your Sun/Venus.

The 7th House is not just about who we will love or marry, 7th House is the opposite energy of the 1st House. 1st House rules how we relate and identify with our self. It is the place where we craft a persona which represents the parts of our self we consider most relatable. We don't just walk around exposing our secret shame, even those who do walk around displaying shame, do so because they relate or identify that shame as self. They feel (usually on a subconscious level) their shame is a unique energy which defines them, they take comfort in it. And even though the events which made them shameful may be long past and forgiven, some still walk around with it because it is one of the “traits” they have come to believe, makes them an individual self.

The same is true with the 7th House, but in regards to anything considered “not-self” or “others”. It starts with a story we tell our self, “Well if I am this specific way (1st House) then I best relate to things which are “these specific ways”. The 7th House indicates our rules for engagement and defines how we insist on relating or identifying with others. When you step out your front door, you may see a lot of objects, but the people, places, and things that stand out (both positive and negative), do so because your 7th House relates to them in some way.

In your type of chart, the rules of engagement surround the concepts of growing, evolving, and expanding your potential. You relate with things that improve you and broaden your understanding of topics which could result in enhancing your mind and spirit. Uranus, Neptune, and Saturn also add a theme to your rules for relating. "Shake it up, smooth it out, and freeze it" is the theme. Then once things have been frozen for a bit, shake it up, smooth it out, and freeze it again (wash, rinse, repeat). In practical terms, you seek to surround your self with intellectual people who may seem quite odd to others, but part of you wants to make them feel their weirdness is okay, that you accept them and they should never feel like they have to be alone (no matter how many piercings they have in their eyelids). You are particularly attracted to people who “appear” to be different than mainstream humans. Physical form is important to your emotional attachments and capacity for appreciation. This means expectations about someone's personality before you actually have time to know them, can result. That Mooon in Taurus 11th House, just wants to bring them into your personal space, make them your best buddy, give them everything they could ever want, and lust at them as you discuss astrophysics, new fun technology, music, potential road trips, and stories you both made up while you were fantasizing about petting baby ocelots (or in your case, while you were fantasizing about petting them). Can you help it if you want to run your fingers through their multi-colored hair while they lay in your lap reading personal poetry about sloths?

Once they have been made comfortable, you seek to freeze that experience. Unfortunately nothing stays frozen for long, and the struggle between holding on to an ideal connection and the desire for the relationship (or one of you) to evolve, brings Uranus back into the picture with a nice dose of upheaval. The Uranus thing may not be noticeable at first, but ask your self how often your involvements with others end because of a feeling of needing to completely change your environment and the people in it, right now.

Things get a little complex from here, as your Pluto and Moon oppose each other. You really wanted to beat the crap out of your Moon in this lifetime and between the Pluto opposition and the Aries Venus/Eris, she is either learning a great lesson or enduring swords and branding irons. Your Moon loves your friends....wait, let me say that again, your Moon LOOOOVES your friends. You can only become truly comfortable with a person when you consider them a friend. But once they become friends, your Pluto and Venus start worrying about where the friendship is headed (especially if you find the person physically attractive). Ceres is also in Aries 11th House, so friendship is very much about meeting each other's needs and devoting your self to nourishing the friends you love. Your Moon and Saturn both want to take things slow when it comes to relationships, but there are several other forces scratching at the back of your head, seeking some sort of evolution or movement in the relationship.

I consider Eris and Venus co-rulers of both Taurus and Libra. Your Eris is conjunct Sun/Venus, so all three of these planets play a part in how your Moon and 7th House function. Eris has some pretty complex energies, but essentially it represents our illusion of individuality and the feeling of being disconnected from others. At first glance that sounds kind of horrible, but there are some very important facets to Eris which rule how we prepare the self for true love. Eris conjunct Sun/Venus in the 10th House identifies achievement in self discovery and expression, with separation. The energy then pares that with a desire for others to find one's separation and independent self beautiful. Ultimately, your path to evolve is one that requires relationships, but the finished product is something you feel can not be shared, it is a personal achievement. In a sense, this could cause you to be obsessed with relationships as catalysts for personal transformation. Eris (like her brother Mars) has a competitive streak, but the war is not won in her eyes until every soldier on both sides is brutally slaughtered, then she runs out into the battlefield and dances in the blood. The archetype of Eris is alone and uninvited to the world's party. Everything she does forces a wedge between her and the world, and because her driving force is separation, she never notices anything wrong with her actions, she just sees that she is always separate, always uninvited (Oh God! The Forever Alone Troll is an Eris Archetype HAHA).

This doesn't mean you are destined to be forever alone, or that you are a mutant when it comes to interacting with people. The greatest of Eris's energies noticeable in Libra (besides Libra's inherent phobia of separation, disharmony, and imperfection), is Libra's ability to completely miss the forest for the trees. They can focus on the sunset and drive right off the cliff. The same may be true with the process in your 7th House. Looking at your chart, I would suggest the reason for your frustration is found in Uranus in Aries, approaching a transiting conjunction to your natal Eris/Sun/Venus/Mercury. In the next few years you will be challenged to destroy your ideals surrounding relationships with self and others (through tempering self transformation with self acceptance). Right now, the people you are attracted to are people who want everything your Taurus Moon, Gemini ASC, and Cancer Chiron advertise, but they know they don't have to reciprocate, because your drive to make your self someone worthy of reciprocation is palpable in your energy. What you have yet to discover, is worthiness is not an achievement, it is a realization. You chose a Taurus Moon and placed Saturn in your 7th House for a reason. Part of your life's lesson is learning to slow your roll and discover just how much abuse you put your self through in the name of achievement. Eris is an especially hard energy to overcome, because it requires acceptance of our destructive actions, without personal judgment. It requires the realization that the path of destruction left in our wake of wrong views, is enough punishment for our ignorance and further punishment only leads to isolation (which perpetuates the wake of destruction again).

Two other notes. Your mother's influence in your chart is a weird one. It's almost as if she was a different person in your young years and perhaps got sick or changed in some way. You seem to model your maternal archetypes after a specific image of your maternal figure, where another large part of that figure feels estranged or separate. This will be the next lesson after Uranus blows through your Sun/Venus. Also keep in mind that your NN is in Pisces, conjunct MC. The real achievement for your life is unconditional acceptance of self and others, but that is not achieved without struggle (or sacrifice of ideals which may support unhealthy habits). You are welcome to retreat into serving others or scrutinizing every event as it arises, but the question stands, “Which do you honestly want, a future filled with lots of personally related experiences and accomplishments, or a future filled with love and universal understanding”?

posted February 24, 2012 11:45 AM            

When I had SA uranus conj my pluto in 7th was one major explosive row with my Ex. Uranus/explosive Pluto endings/transformations

posted February 24, 2012 11:50 AM            

T jupiter just last week or so been sextiling MC and Node. Have you had more opportunities for work or group stuff?

Also look for transits that make an aspect to your Jupiter ruler of 7th and venus ruler of 5th.

down side is T Saturn has entered your 5th house of romance, so you really need jupiter to do something for you this year. t saturn in 5th can be an austere period for romance, creativity etc.

posted February 24, 2012 01:57 PM            

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Originally posted by SaggiMC:
T pluto has been over your Uranus in 7th house.Now pluto is 8' capp and conj your uranus/neptune midpoint, so it's still having an effect.

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I'll have to look and see what that effect is.

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whilst forming a sextile to MC and Node, this arena should have been ok. Fact that T Pluto is in your 7th is like waving a red flag. Others have given some excellent ideas and I'm sure I've mentioned your pore venus square neptune and square saturn before. Venus overidealises, puts people up on a pedestal, only sees the best.Then venus square saturn creeps in and your self esteem goes low, you feel unloved or uncherished. neptune in 7th you probably make more and more sacrifices to 'make' a relationships work.. Sound familiar?[/B]

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Okay, so Pluto IS working on me via my 7th house? Because it's not that I haven't met anybody or nobody likes me... it's just that it is not ideal. And I seem to gravitate or be a magnet for passive people who DO want me to do all the work (or feels like it).

As for Jupiter, I've actually met a lot of new, great people! At work. And these people have introduced me to more people and so forth. The guy I'm interested in right now is someone I'm pretty sure is a lesson for me to take the rose glasses off with. I'm trying not to idolize people I'm very physically attracted to, but it's definitely a challenge.

posted February 28, 2012 09:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Xiiro:

And the final transformation planet, Eris is conjunct your Sun/Venus.

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Okay, is Eris something everyone knows about? I've never researched it or heard about it before so everything you mentioned here was new (re: refreshing)

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The 7th House is not just about who we will love or marry, 7th House is the opposite energy of the 1st House. 1st House rules how we relate and identify with our self. It is the place where we craft a persona which represents the parts of our self we consider most relatable. We don't just walk around exposing our secret shame, even those who do walk around displaying shame, do so because they relate or identify that shame as self. They feel (usually on a subconscious level) their shame is a unique energy which defines them, they take comfort in it. And even though the events which made them shameful may be long past and forgiven, some still walk around with it because it is one of the “traits” they have come to believe, makes them an individual self.

The same is true with the 7th House, but in regards to anything considered “not-self” or “others”. It starts with a story we tell our self, “Well if I am this specific way (1st House) then I best relate to things which are “these specific ways”. The 7th House indicates our rules for engagement and defines how we insist on relating or identifying with others. When you step out your front door, you may see a lot of objects, but the people, places, and things that stand out (both positive and negative), do so because your 7th House relates to them in some way.

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So, the 7th house equates not just to that of "others" but also shame or the "unspeakable" things we carry within ourselves but those "quirks" are also how we define our individuality?

quote:

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In your type of chart, the rules of engagement surround the concepts of growing, evolving, and expanding your potential. You relate with things that improve you and broaden your understanding of topics which could result in enhancing your mind and spirit. Uranus, Neptune, and Saturn also add a theme to your rules for relating. "Shake it up, smooth it out, and freeze it" is the theme.

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This is very true. I do feel as though I'm always searching for fulfillment but I can't put my finger on where I would find that, other than the experiences themselves.

quote:

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Then once things have been frozen for a bit, shake it up, smooth it out, and freeze it again (wash, rinse, repeat). In practical terms, you seek to surround your self with intellectual people who may seem quite odd to others, but part of you wants to make them feel their weirdness is okay, that you accept them and they should never feel like they have to be alone (no matter how many piercings they have in their eyelids).

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quote:

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You are particularly attracted to people who “appear” to be different than mainstream humans. Physical form is important to your emotional attachments and capacity for appreciation. This means expectations about someone's personality before you actually have time to know them, can result.

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So is that a fancy way of saying I judge people by appearance lol.

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That Moon in Taurus 11th House, just wants to bring them into your personal space, make them your best buddy, give them everything they could ever want, and lust at them as you discuss astrophysics, new fun technology, music, potential road trips, and stories you both made up while you were fantasizing about petting baby ocelots (or in your case, while you were fantasizing about petting them). Can you help it if you want to run your fingers through their multi-colored hair while they lay in your lap reading personal poetry about sloths?

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LOL yes, yes yes. This is true. It's just that why can't I find other fellow sloth lovers? Or keep them, anyway... I don't really have a physical type because I need so much stimulation mentally it just fell by the way side.

quote:

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Once they have been made comfortable, you seek to freeze that experience. Unfortunately nothing stays frozen for long, and the struggle between holding on to an ideal connection and the desire for the relationship (or one of you) to evolve, brings Uranus back into the picture with a nice dose of upheaval. The Uranus thing may not be noticeable at first, but ask your self how often your involvements with others end because of a feeling of needing to completely change your environment and the people in it, right now.

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That's true! And the whole process happens before I even know what's going on, and it seems that when I do catch on it's already in the process of "shifting" so I'm like "WAIT WAIT!"

Well, let's see... most of the time I don't get "involved." I know they like me but they don't even have to tell me that, I just know. And as soon as I feel they like me it freaks me out because then I don't know what their expectations of me are, or how to handle it. I've gotten much better at that and just acting normal anyway but nevertheless. My last relationship ended because it got waaaay too routine, and he was kind of emotionally abusive. The very first guy I fell in love with never fruitioned to anything because I didn't realize I reciprocated his feelings until after the fact, at which case he'd moved on.

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You really wanted to beat the crap out of your Moon in this lifetime

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and between the Pluto opposition and the Aries Venus/Eris, she is either learning a great lesson or enduring swords and branding irons. Your Moon loves your friends....wait, let me say that again, your Moon LOOOOVES your friends. You can only become truly comfortable with a person when you consider them a friend.

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quote:

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But once they become friends, your Pluto and Venus start worrying about where the friendship is headed (especially if you find the person physically attractive).

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quote:

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Ceres is also in Aries 11th House, so friendship is very much about meeting each other's needs and devoting your self to nourishing the friends you love. Your Moon and Saturn both want to take things slow when it comes to relationships, but there are several other forces scratching at the back of your head, seeking some sort of evolution or movement in the relationship.

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My moon and Saturn must play a huge role in my chart make-up then, because I am definitely sloooooow. Like not the "I need some time" but if I feel rushed in any way shape or form or pressured or uncomfortable, then nada. You might as well pretend I don't exist.

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I consider Eris and Venus co-rulers of both Taurus and Libra. Your Eris is conjunct Sun/Venus, so all three of these planets play a part in how your Moon and 7th House function.

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Okay.. okay... kinda getting hairy confused now. My moon is in the 11th, so doesn't it just stay there and only deal with 11th house things? My 7th is ruled by Sagittarius so I'm lost as to how Eris functions there, and I believe Libra rules my 5th.

quote:

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Eris has some pretty complex energies, but essentially it represents our illusion of individuality and the feeling of being disconnected from others. At first glance that sounds kind of horrible, but there are some very important facets to Eris which rule how we prepare the self for true love. Eris conjunct Sun/Venus in the 10th House identifies achievement in self discovery and expression, with separation. The energy then pares that with a desire for others to find one's separation and independent self beautiful. Ultimately, your path to evolve is one that requires relationships, but the finished product is something you feel can not be shared, it is a personal achievement.

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So basically find fulfillment through relationships but not through OTHERS... if that makes sense. Like, fulfillment through the work that relationships requires and how all relationships require different amounts and methods of "work", but learning how not to depend on a partner?

quote:

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In a sense, this could cause you to be obsessed with relationships as catalysts for personal transformation. Eris (like her brother Mars) has a competitive streak, but the war is not won in her eyes until every soldier on both sides is brutally slaughtered, then she runs out into the battlefield and dances in the blood.

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quote:

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The archetype of Eris is alone and uninvited to the world's party. Everything she does forces a wedge between her and the world, and because her driving force is separation, she never notices anything wrong with her actions, she just sees that she is always separate, always uninvited (Oh God! The Forever Alone Troll is an Eris Archetype HAHA).

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Actually... I can kind of see that in my personality. I have little quirks and "Hanna-isms" that I don't bother changing. I've had to change a lot because I began worrying and obsessing how other people perceive me and now, I just don't care. They still perceive me the same way. They still don't "get" me, so I'm shrugging my shoulders at this point. "Call me aggressive and crazy all you want, I think you're too sensitive and boring."

quote:

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The greatest of Eris's energies noticeable in Libra (besides Libra's inherent phobia of separation, disharmony, and imperfection), is Libra's ability to completely miss the forest for the trees.

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quote:

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The same may be true with the process in your 7th House. Looking at your chart, I would suggest the reason for your frustration is found in Uranus in Aries, approaching a transiting conjunction to your natal Eris/Sun/Venus/Mercury. In the next few years you will be challenged to destroy your ideals surrounding relationships with self and others (through tempering self transformation with self acceptance). Right now, the people you are attracted to are people who want everything your Taurus Moon, Gemini ASC, and Cancer Chiron advertise, but they know they don't have to reciprocate, because your drive to make your self someone worthy of reciprocation is palpable in your energy.

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Oh my god, well how do I reverse this? And will I always attract people who want this?! Yes, I definitely attracted someone like that last year. He was a Leo w/Sagittarius moon and Venus in Leo. Dunno about the other stuff but it was pretty much like dating an emotional vampire. He wanted me to entertain him, and be philosophical, and care about the world, and baby him and all his little emotional injuries and party with him and be intellectual and classy. EUGH. I mean I can BE ALL of those things but not at the same time or and not all at the same time for very LONG.

quote:

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Two other notes. Your mother's influence in your chart is a weird one. It's almost as if she was a different person in your young years and perhaps got sick or changed in some way. You seem to model your maternal archetypes after a specific image of your maternal figure, where another large part of that figure feels estranged or separate. This will be the next lesson after Uranus blows through your Sun/Venus. Also keep in mind that your NN is in Pisces, conjunct MC. The real achievement for your life is unconditional acceptance of self and others, but that is not achieved without struggle (or sacrifice of ideals which may support unhealthy habits). You are welcome to retreat into serving others or scrutinizing every event as it arises, but the question stands, “Which do you honestly want, a future filled with lots of personally related experiences and accomplishments, or a future filled with love and universal understanding”?

Hope that was helpful in some way. =)[/B]

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posted February 29, 2012 06:14 AM            

It's way past my bed time, so if something doesn't make sense I apologies. Feel free to ask me about anything which may sound confusing or generally insomnia inspired.

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Q - Okay, is Eris something everyone knows about? I've never researched it or heard about it before so everything you mentioned here was new (re: refreshing)

A - Eris was discovered in 2005 and got the ball rolling with the scientific debate about Pluto being a planet. When Pluto was finally “demoted”, a few other space rocks were promoted to the same classification as Pluto (dwarf planet). Of the few, Eris and Ceres join Pluto as the largest.

Because Eris is new, there is very little research. I started researching her about 5 years ago and find the system works for me. The information is scarce and the energy of Eris is still forming in the mainstream. She is an outer planet, so the energy is primarily generational. You certainly don't have to follow the same system I do to locate the message in your chart. If the whole Eris thing turns out to be of little interest, just consider 75% of the astrological reading as based on scrying. =)

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Q - So, the 7th house equates not just to that of "others" but also shame or the "unspeakable" things we carry within ourselves but those "quirks" are also how we define our individuality?

A - Hmm what you are describing sounds a lot like 4th House energy to me. Perhaps using such an emotionally charged example was a poor decision on my part. The 7th house is associated with air, so the archetype doesn't really concern its self with heaviness or things we want to hide (unless aspected that way). Where the 1st House represents our mechanism for being a “Self”, the 7th house represents our mechanism for relating with “objects outside of Self”. The reference to shame was intended to describe how a person who identifies “Self” as kind, sporty, religious, high-class, shameful, etc. walks around, displaying those traits, regardless of their conscious efforts. This is because the ASC is not something we are all blessed with the ability to consciously manipulate, but is more of an automatic display of the traits we possess, which help the world identify us in a nutshell.
When understanding the 7th House, it is important to understand the duality of Self vs NotSelf. In order to identify objects and beings in our environment, one must identify the self as separate from environment. This separation starts in the 1st House and is based on those traits which we feel summarizes the self. We walk into a store (bar, car dealership, restaurant, pet adoption, etc..) and we seek out objects or beings which we relate to. An example of how we can even use the 7th house on our self would be, a person's ability to mentally step outside their self and observe their own actions. While we are in this state, we (as Self) observe our actions (as if our actions are NotSelf). This gives us an opportunity to relate with our Self. Our 7th House develops into a system which helps us repeat scenarios until we relate with them and either integrate, or overcome them. This is why it rules both marriage and public enemies. The people are merely byproducts of the underlying energy's repetition pattern. When you meet someone you want to repeat interacting with for the rest of your life, you marry them. When different people become your enemy, they tend to get there in a similar way. This is because you are repeating negative relationships with people who you “are wired” to relate with negatively (until you learn the lesson). The 7th house therefor is our set of social and interactive rules (when people are skeptical, I relate emotionally, but not socially; when dogs are energetic, I relate playfully, but not sexually; etc...) In the case of your question, it was important to mention the broader functions of the 7th house. Your question was essentially about repetition with romantic prospects and a the energies involved in the Uranian transit have to do with shattering the rules which perpetuate that repetition. Your old ideals around how you value/relate with self and others is being uprooted, displaced, and tossed out the 27th floor window.

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Q - So is that a fancy way of saying I judge people by appearance lol.

A - I think it is more of a fancy way of saying, you have a deep appreciation of beauty. You have an emotional connection to appearance. You are the kid who takes the pretty doughnut over the smooshed one, even though they are both equally good. If someone hands you a smooshed doughnut and you don't know there is an unsmooshed one, you will be perfectly content. If however you were made to eat both an ugly doughnut and a pretty doughnut of equal worth, you are likely to enjoy the doughnut you are more attracted to quite a bit more than the one you felt was unappealing. This is because physical form is a language to you, it has meaning. If someone therefor looks a specific way, you are more inclined to “play along” even when you know they are not legit.

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Q - LOL yes, yes yes. This is true. It's just that why can't I find other fellow sloth lovers? Or keep them, anyway... I don't really have a physical type because I need so much stimulation mentally it just fell by the way side.

A - Because, that Eris conjunction makes you feel like you are always outside looking in. If you meet a fellow slothy-apprecianato, you take on the “job” of “that person's partner”. The relationship ceases to be mutual, because you spend all your time obsessed with separately observing, refining, and evolving your self as “that person's partner”. It's a bit complex, but relationships put you in a contrasting mindset. Because you spend so much energy working to make “Self” the best partner of “NotSelf”, you may miss the part where the relationship becomes more about you being the best partner and less about who you are being a partner to (or more frightening, how that person can be a partner to you). With your natal Eris, I wouldn't be surprised if, when a partner tries to do something to cater to you, support you, or help you, you may have an “aww isn't that cute” condescending internal perspective, or even a “back off please, I can totally do this my self” internal response. With the Taurus Moon I doubt you would outwardly vocalize those feelings. If you identify with those descriptions however, figuring out how to overcome those perspectives is a good start.

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Q - My moon and Saturn must play a huge role in my chart make-up then, because I am definitely sloooooow. Like not the "I need some time" but if I feel rushed in any way shape or form or pressured or uncomfortable, then nada. You might as well pretend I don't exist.

A - That is definitely a moon in Taurus thing. Taurus loathes being uncomfortable and if you are not into it, there is no way you will go against your Moon's comfort meter. This is great when things are running smoothly, but can play against your favor if you have bad habits which make you feel comfort. This is why it takes a planet like Uranus to chew your Moon up over and over again.

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Q - Okay.. okay... kinda getting hairy confused now. My moon is in the 11th, so doesn't it just stay there and only deal with 11th house things? My 7th is ruled by Sagittarius so I'm lost as to how Eris functions there, and I believe Libra rules my 5th.

A - Sun/Venus/Eris are all conjunct.
In my system Taurus is ruled by Venus/eris and Libra is ruled by Eris/venus, so how your Moon functions (being in Taurus) and your 7th House functions (being associated with Libra) is energetically symbiotic with your Venus/Eris/Sun conjunction. Ironically enough, the conjunction is also associated with your 5th house Pluto, because 5th house is associated with the Sun and your 5th is ruled by Libra.

It's all very twisty turny, but essentially results in a mixing or predisposition for interaction between those energies.

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Q - So basically find fulfillment through relationships but not through OTHERS... if that makes sense. Like, fulfillment through the work that relationships requires and how all relationships require different amounts and methods of "work", but learning how not to depend on a partner?

A - Wow, it's like you stepped aside and Eris typed that for you LOL. You hit the nail on the head, but remember, Eris is our “Illusion of Separation”. What you typed is almost exactly what you should not do heheh. The most popular story of Eris starts with her being denied entry to a wedding (she gets crazy when she drinks I guess). So she decided to throw a golden apple inscribed with the message “To the fairest one”, into the crowd. Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite began arguing over who the apple was intended for and unable to make up their minds, they employed Paris, the prince of Troy to choose. Of course all three attempted to bribe him, but Aphrodite promised Paris the queen of Sparta, Helen and he handed the apple over to her. The result of that decision was the Trojan War and the eventual destruction of Troy.
One of the many morals of Eris's story, is how poor decisions can lead to ruin. It also indicates how easily our sanctity/dedication (Hera), wisdom/awareness (Athena), and values/appreciations can be so blindly pulled off track. All in pursuit of concepts which hold no real value. Gods have no use for gold, the goddesses didn't fight over the apple because it has a physical or practical use, they went mad over who was prettier. Of course Aphrodite won and in her negligence and carelessness offered Paris a gift which resulted in massive ruin.
The negative side of Eris fixates on an idea or challenge which seems so real and important, we may not even be able to imagine life without it. We play that idea out over and over again to the point of our own destruction. The positive side is awesome though. The challenge we are presented with actually does have real value. It just requires the realization that we are fixated on an “idea” and actually have everything we need in our most natural state. Virtue, wisdom, and appreciation are all the most beautiful, each in their own ways. Had Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite realized the natural power already within, they would have never fallen for Eris's trick. Another important thing to keep in mind, had Eris been invited, the crisis may have been completely avoided. Eris also reminds us to observe and appreciate our self and not ignore or avoid or push out the hard lessons being handed us. Avoidance of chaos is obsession with the idea of balance, not the act of facing chaos in order to discover balance.

In your case, much of what you just asked is your Eris fixation:

“So basically find fulfillment through relationships but not through OTHERS” -
We can never find fulfillment through relationships, because relationships are based on the illusion that we are separate from the objects and beings we encounter. The Erisian answer is, realize your relationship with your self is a fantastic resource for fulfillment. The people and places who arise in our life are not separate from us so learning to love the self that abides in both you and others. When it comes down to it, it's all self, regardless of who's body it is inhabiting.

“fulfillment through the work that relationships requires and how all relationships require different amounts and methods of "work", but learning how not to depend on a partner?” -
The Erisian answer is, the idea that relationships require work is an illusion based on the idea that separate beings support (must feed off) each other. If we are present and attentive, we realize the internal Self is a much more readily available source of nourishment, then feeing off external selves. Fruitful interaction requires only presence and attention (when we are present, we only feed on our self and when we are attentive, we give people the space to find their own self to feed on). There is nothing more precious you could give than your honest presence and deep attention. Sometimes we get lost, we forget our self, and must depend on others to be there for us (especially when part of our Eris fixation is based on insisting others depend on us). There is nothing wrong with depending on others if those people help guide you back to your self, your heart.

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Q - Oh my god, well how do I reverse this? And will I always attract people who want this?!

A - We are never cursed to do anything forever. It is just a process and it takes time (which I'm sure the Taurus Moon is ultimately fine with. After all if you are going to learn a lesson, you may as well take yoru time and get it right the first time). These issues and attractions are based on old patterns which Uranus will definitely break through. Uranus leaves Aries in 2020 and will hit your conjunction sometime around 2016.

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Q - She was really depressed when I was little and I know she tried her hardest and DID raise me and take care of me but she never felt emotionally "there". She says something changed in me after I turned four. Because you know, four year olds often go through drastic behavior changes. I tend to "mother" those I'm close to, and yet I can't be a daughter to my own mother. Kind of seems like I'm constantly trying to mother her or teach her how to treat me and she refuses to listen. I do like the idea of NN in Pisces, I'm just afraid I'll die from it because being a Pisces sounds exhausting to me.