posted March 20, 2012 07:24 PM            

Last fall I said to myself I wasn't going to fall in love again unless I met mr Right. I'm too tired of games, being hurt and all that. So... Almost 6 months ago I randomly met a really cute, nice and ambitious guy. We clicked. He ticked so many boxes it felt too fated to be ignored. The first real date was really magic and sincere. Then I think our guards went up. And it's been a mystery since.

He seems serious but catious. He has been mentioning kids, marriage and asking me questions on such subjects from day 1. I didn't take it seriously at first (he is also a bit younger than me) but I've started to do that now. When I bring such things up myself he responds in a very happy way and says it's nice to hear ME thinking about it. We hardly know each other though so I'm confused... I have a feeling he made up his mind about me the first date already and now he's just figuring out where I stand. Or not? I may seem aloof and careless plus I'm guarded with my emotions so I can see why he would hesitate. Girls ADORE him so I hesitate as well, dah! Hate being jealous

Anyhow. I don't think he's going to put his guard down first. I'll have to do it or else nothing will ever happen. I'm scared to death!!! I've never told anyone my feelings before I knew it was mutual. How do people do these things without... dying?? He can crush me easily. Don't know if I can take more heartbreak Do you think I should do it?

PS. I think I'm more intense than a regular Pisces. I have plenty of drive, ambition, pride and hide my emotions like a Cap. But I have passions, obsessions and aggressions that feels more Scorpio-ish, might be my Moon/Venus square Pluto?

Sadly he doesn't have his exact birth time, but it's not more than 1/2 hour off. It does change the houses though and it's too bad I can't know for sure if his Scorpio Venus is in house 12 or not. (For this reason I've not reduced the orbs).

Maybe our synastry can shed some light on it? if anyone have any helpful input I'll be very happy.. thank you in advance!

"Cold on the outside. Burning on the inside."

Synastry

posted March 20, 2012 07:34 PM            

My natal chart:

posted March 20, 2012 08:04 PM            

I think you may want to use Whole sign system or Equal house, because it's really not proportional here.

On another note, the synastry has some red flags: Venus conjunct Uranus, Neptune conjunct Moon and Saturn square Mercury.

There's probably a lot of attraction because both your Venus and Mars (and theirs) are activated, but on the other hand, it may an unstable and a confusing connection, and at times it may feel like you can't open up to him or talk to him as freely as you'd like.
He may become critical of you at some point, and you guys probably don't see the situation very clearly.

His natal chart shows he has a Moon Uranus conjunction, and it's square Mars. He needs a lot of space and may have commitment issues, sometimes he may appear aloof or display unstable moods/emotions. He may have temper issues, too.

His Sun conjuncts Neptune, so his sense of self may be blurry, and even though he may appear very self-confident, there may be issues with self-esteem or boundaries. He may a bit unrealistic at times and put people on a pedestal.

Now, he fits your criteria because you have Neptune in the 7th and he's Neptunian, but I'd be *very* careful, because it can lead to deception or disappointment.

I think you shouldn't tell him the depth of your feelings, because with that afflicted Moon of his, he may freak out and ran away.

Definitely give him his space, don't smother him and don't show yourself possessive, that would be a turn-off, I think.

posted March 20, 2012 10:07 PM            

The next time he looks at you a little puzzled or shy about something that you did for him.... Allow yourself to Feel your feelings for him, Smile a real smile, the smile that softens your face and makes your eyes sparkle, brush your hand on his cheek and kiss him with passion.

If he asks, why? Just reply nothing. I like you thats all
And return to doing your thing... Ie: washing dishes, reading...etc.

Quietly watch his next move, reaction... Make it a habit of slowly softening yourself and your feelings. Make being with you a safe/zen place.

Drop a trail of breadcrumbs to you... It will take patience and time! But if he has given your heart hope again, and by the sounds of it you really like him... It might be worth exploring.

Just dont set yourself up for failure. Give him the space to figure his feelings and give yourself permission to go with the flow with no expectations.

posted March 21, 2012 09:00 AM            

Doux Rêve: You're right about the attraction. Don't think I've ever felt this attracted to someone. He lets me take initiative. Guys are usually too offensive and I don't like that. He intrigues me. And it's also what's different about him - he hasn't "taken advantage" of me though he knows he could have since I'm so ridiculously attracted. You're also right about his temper. But that's ok, I've got a temper too. He is aloof sometimes but he always comes back. I think he needs space to do his thing, but I do as well. He definitively appears confident on the outside, but I sensed self-esteem issues early. Yes the Neptune in the 7th makes me uncertain… I will be careful. Thank you!

Junethird: Interesting to try! So far I get the best responses when I show I really like him. Or when I answer his questions the "right" way. For example, he asked if I would change my last name if we got married. I said "yeah why not? it sounds cool!" and he got really happy (he said he'd never change his.. Cap lol!). I'm usually bad at being cute, I don't like displays of affection in a "girly" way. But patience is the keyword here! I like the breadcrumb thing The lesson could be trust yes, for both of us.

Birdy: Very true, I can get caught up in melancholy. But, I must say I've gone from being a pessimist to being a true optimist these last 4-5 years. Thanks to adapting "the secret"-mindset and making changes for the better. I feel happy with my life now and I'm convinced everything will be fine! With time I've learnt how to cope with my mood swings. I bounce back much faster now and I'm aware of not getting caught up in negative thinking. I'm actually quite a happiness booster at work, giving support and smiles to everyone, yay!

Voix_de_la_Mer: Yes! True. We'll see how this turns out…

About him wanting a woman who is optimistic, happy and independent - That's the first impression he got. After a while I started to show more depth because I can sense depth in him. He sees through shallowness. I'm a happy person in general, it's just these love matters that brings me down currently lol… He actually said I'm the most driven and clever girl he's ever met. I'm older than him and have my own apartment in order, a nice job and all that. I travel the world alone, can fix my own computer, can drive motorbikes and I went skydiving alone (not alone-alone, it was tandem ). He knows all this and I think he not only thinks I'm independent, he might even be intimidated because he says I'm even more driven than he is - and he is a true workaholic! He also travel a lot and drives a motorbike etc so we're both adrenalin-junkies that LOVES to travel.

He pursued me at first, and when I fell for him I got a bit pushy, while he slowed down. Now I don't have much expectations. I focus on my own thing. We're both quite busy. He's still mad at an ex (and can be cynical about women in general), and even though I've been heartbroken too I don't feel angry anymore. I'm ready for a life-long partner. Maybe he's not, I don't know. But he said he wants to have kids within 5 years. And he talks about us building a house on the countryside together and so on.

In the beginning he stated it's pointless to be in a relationship unless it's serious (plus he hasn't time either). I've told him that he has to tell me straight-up if this is not going anywhere. He replied he would absolutely tell me if that was the case and I believe that. At the same time he hinted that he wasn't quite ready (the "yes but not yet"-feeling) and still trying to "get on his feet" (I sensed a combination of heartbreak, starting at a new demanding job, plus renovating his home). So, this was about 5-6 months ago. Now he is telling me "soon!". His home is almost finished and the job is going well. I think something will happen in the near future. Like Voix_de_la_Mer said; it's either stalemate or growth!

This could be a never-ending circle where I won't trust him unless he trusts me first by opening up and vice-versa. I've started a little bit though, admitting that I get butterflies in my belly when we meet and such cute but honest things. I wouldn't usually admit that when I don't know where I stand. I should probably also say to him that his compliment that I'm the "most driven and clever girl" he's ever met is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. I remember I hardly reacted when he said it, I just shrugged it off and replied that we're alike. But on the inside I was really surprised and glad he said it! What do you guys think of this approach? I don't like being vulnerable and sometimes guys seem to be attracted to my cold/strong sides, it's like they don't even want to know that I'm also sensitive and vulnerable because then it's not interesting anymore. I don't think that's the case here though.

Finally, I must admit I'm hoping that some of this is true… http://astrolibrary.org/scorpio-in-love/