posted May 16, 2012 07:48 PM            

So I was also going to school, and I had an internship at a fish collection facility (HOW NEPTUNIAN). One day I was assisting a USGS crew that was there just by recording some data, and moving buckets of fish around. There was this man surgically implanting some of the fish with radio tags, and for some reason just watching him concentrate and do his job and whatever, I just thought "This. is. him". Like, I had just met the only person that I will ever want to submit to, and whatever ever happened in the world this person exists, and I exist, and even if we're both too chicken$%^& to do anything about it, in a way, I am satisfied. Maybe that sounds like a huge copout to some of the bolder readers, but I have HUGE issues surrounding how I approach people I'm interested in/already love even though I don't really know them because I'm crazy.
And, same thing as you, I would love/hate ever seeing him. He was always super focused on his job there (and I never knew the days he would be there, it was totally random), and I didn't want to be a nuiscance. Plus I had a boyfriend. Anyway, it was kind of horrible, because I was in a tizzy about letting go of my current relationship, getting in a new one possibly-or was I being completely delusional about that????!! Ergh...
Nothing happened of course, I had a dream about him, and I felt it was my duty to at least tell him that much. It was a strange one, we were working together at some facility by the ocean, and he had to go diving in some dangerous underwater caves, and he only had enough oxygen to get where he needed to go and get back, if he got lost he would die. It was always REALLY hard to be myself around him, just because I was wasting so much energy trying to figure him out.
On my last day there, I told him I was leaving as he was leaving for the day, and I thought I read a sad little look, but again, maybe delusional. He gave me his business card, and wrote his supervisor's extension on the back, saying "If you need anything, give me a call", and I was thinking, "Anything???". We shook hands, and I could have sworn he did a special shake, like after the release he still kind of held mine and our fingers slipped past one another's, but maybe that was accidental, and obviously I'm still shook up about it, pitiful idn't it?
So, before he left, he sat in his car a really long time, and I REALLY considered just running out there and like, throwing my phone number through his open window and scurrying away (I know, how adult of me), but that would only mean I would have to come home to my crazy boyfriend and break it off, and at that time I really believe he would have seriously put up a fight, maybe still, but it was just tooooooo much. So I just stood there and watched, and I still kind of hate myself for it. So he left, boo hoo me, then about 30 minutes later he comes back, and I'm like, uuuuuuugugggghhhh, I liked him sooo much, but is this done or what!?? Just go and let me wallow!
He went up to the other guy that was there and started asking him if they had his cell phone number in case they needed to call him. He was worried about some fish, and if it died or something, he wanted to be sure they could get ahold of him. He had been doing stuff there for 5 years or so, so I was like, "Hmmm?" I thought they would have his number by then. So he wrote it down and left it in the office and then he left, and I was just writhing in my skin. As soon a I had a spare moment, I was like a little creep, running in there and writing it down on the back of his business card!!
I thought, at least if I ever grew the balls to break up with mr. ick, maybe they would also be big and strong enough to just call this guy and be like "HEY, I'm crazy about you. Sorry if that creeps you out, and I don't know why, but if you ever need to get married, I'm your girl. Or whatever."
Anyway, I stuck around hoping that I might get a job there after I got my little 2 yr degree, and at first I didn't and I was like, "oh, cruel fate, looks like I am just a nut-nut." Then Venus went retro right on my Descendant, and I had a weird dream, and I was doing some yard work and thinking about this person, even though I had been making a concerted effort not to for the last few months, and I came in that evening to check my email, and I got a job offer from that place the same day of Venus Rx.
So it begins.....again.....maybe.

HERE'S THE POINT, see how I do?

posted May 16, 2012 08:55 PM            

Moon/Mars is HOT HOT HOT.... Lots of passion, and I WANT YOU so BAD! Throw in uranus sounds even hotter. Along with Mars/Venus... Some very hot attraction going on.

Im caught up in something similar with someone I work with.
Go through my posts you will see how crazy I am

It started 2 years ago, we had a short fling, became friends, stopped talking, became friends again, and now are going very slowly to make it into something else.

For a year I spent it running away... I tried everything, but nothing worked.. I couldnt escape... I felt like the universe trapped me at work with him...
I had feelings for him, BUT would NEVER admit it (he has planets in my 12th)
He opened up a side of me I couldnt even understand..
Then years down the road, once we admitted feelings.. Thats when it got better (you know Im lying right) lol joking... It got better as in being able to handle the emotions..
(sometimes) lol

Can you post your composite? I would like to see what that looks like...

posted May 16, 2012 10:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lisau:
MessylilLeo you are a riot! We are similar in a lot of ways... But honestly this is the first situation I have EVER felt ANYTHING like this. I'm really lay back and I NEVER hit on guys. I think its an ego thing with me. I always let the guy make the first move because I think my ego couldn't take the rejection.
Lioness I will go through your posts.. I'm so interested.. Thanks for your feedback. It's like you hit it right on the head. I think it would be a relief to be honest with him and get it out in the open.. but my ego... then we work together.. And to be honest I was kind of hoping for just FWB now I don't know... That was a VERY helpful piece of advice. This whole thing is exhausting wish I could turn it off (or maybe just pause it once and a while lol)

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YEAP... I learned the hard way check Pluto before agreeing to a FWB.. LOL

He feels it, but women are more intune with whats going on. So I think we feel it more.. Like if there is a "Male delay" lol

Dont say your feelings,just yet.... Be honest with what each other expect/want and see if its what you can agree on.. If not if he only wants a FWB.. try to release him and let it be, if its meant to be, it will be..

posted May 16, 2012 10:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lisau:
I think it would have to be.. we work directly with each other.. he's my boss ;(
Lots of women at my job are attracted to him also. So it would have to def have to be a secret...

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posted May 16, 2012 11:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lisau:
MessylilLeo you are a riot! We are similar in a lot of ways... But honestly this is the first situation I have EVER felt ANYTHING like this. I'm really lay back and I NEVER hit on guys. I think its an ego thing with me. I always let the guy make the first move because I think my ego couldn't take the rejection.
Lioness I will go through your posts.. I'm so interested.. Thanks for your feedback. It's like you hit it right on the head. I think it would be a relief to be honest with him and get it out in the open.. but my ego... then we work together.. And to be honest I was kind of hoping for just FWB now I don't know... That was a VERY helpful piece of advice. This whole thing is exhausting wish I could turn it off (or maybe just pause it once and a while lol)

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posted May 16, 2012 11:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MessyLilLeo:
No, me too! I have mega rejection issues, and I'm totally not forward with men I have feelings for at all. I do have obsessive tendencies, but never like that. I just felt so intensely about this guy that I thought I would be doing us both a great disservice if I at least didn't try to make some kind of contact. And of course, I didn't call him, I can't even tell other peeps about it now without getting pathetically embarassingly weepy, so not me. If I were someone else, I would be making fun of me and telling me to "get a GRIP!"
Believe me, I was lacking in the grace dept. I would get loud and boisterous, even for me, basically I had a horrible tendency around him to make myself less attractive, I think. I would trip over objects, cuss too much, say stupid things.
Needless to say, I'm planning on a little spirituality revamp. I'm going to do more meditation and deep breathing exercises and try to open my chakras or something before the next round and take back my powah!
rawr!

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