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Author Topic:   abusive family member: synastry help...
sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 306
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted June 01, 2012 07:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
All my life I have dealt with an extremely obsessive, and at times emotionally and physically abusive family member living in my house.

They criticize everything about the way I am, what I do, how I take care of myself, they scream at me in a loud and bitter voice about pretty much anything, tonight they threw something at me and now my arm hurts a lot because it hit my arm, they've threatened to beat me in the past. But then they will scream and sob if I try to go stay with someone else and then be sweet and beg for forgiveness if I say I hate them and want to cast them out of my life, what the hell is going on??? It is SO confusing to me and I fluctuate as a result between liking them OK and then loathing them with all my might. It reminds me of what I hear about romantic abusive relationships where the abuser will be really cold, standoffish and emotionally or physically hurtful then say they didn't mean it, want to make up, are so so sorry, etc....

It just occurred to me to get help with WHY this is happening through a synastry reading. I wanted to hear other input because I just feel lost about this. Our chart is below. The abusive person is on the outside.

Any feedback is MUCH appreciated, at the moment I am so distressed and need guidance. And what is also so terrible is that THEY bring out the aggressive evil feeling to fight in me. I have never wanted to hit or beat up another person so much in my entire life. No one else but them. It feels very unique and I've never felt such physical aggression towards anyone before...

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peachbeigeblue
Knowflake

Posts: 1219
From:
Registered: Apr 2012

posted June 01, 2012 11:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for peachbeigeblue     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I really wish I was more experienced at reading charts so I could help you with. I'm still not very experienced at looking at charts as a whole. I really hope someone capable of giving you an explanation worthy for you can respond.

Best wishes, sweets

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Blind writer
Newflake

Posts: 21
From: Texas, USA
Registered: May 2012

posted June 02, 2012 12:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Blind writer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm cringing here.

There seem to be two key points here. First, there is a Pluto square Pluto going on, which indicates a strong power struggle.

What caught my eye however, is that the outer person has a natal T-square between their Moon, Mars, and it manifests through their Saturn.

Mars in Aquarius can lend an unpredictable nature to their temper, and the Leo Moon can indicate self-righteousness. Join these together with intense Scorpio Saturn, and you have someone who is very stubborn, emotional, and hard to change their opinion.

This Saturn falls right into your 11H of friends. Immediate red flag. Someone else's Saturn in your 11H is usually hard to deal with. In addition to this placement, Saturn is conjuncting your NN and Venus. You're trying to work forward and establish order in your life, but Saturn is overwhelming, and acting like a huge, powerful roadblock.

The outer person's North Node falls in their 7H, which means they have to work on creating equal and respectful relationships with people.

I should probably mention you both have Scorpio Venus, as well. Being one myself, I understand the fierce intensity it lends to your feelings, so you both feel it.

On your end, your Mars is squaring a Merc-Merc conjunction. Mercury conjunct means lines of communication are open, but that only means you don't hold back with each other, and during arguments, this can get ugly. Mars squaring Mercury is an outlet for that bottled up aggression you feel inside.

I keep looking and looking, trying to find a path out, but it's hard here. Your Moon conjuncts your Chiron, which can be a positive thing. If you can master your feelings, you can gently ease the tensions you feel, but it will be an uphill battle, and painful.

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Doux Rêve
Moderator

Posts: 1840
From:
Registered: Dec 2010

posted June 03, 2012 07:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It sounds like this person has Borderline personality disorder.

I am so sorry you are going through this, sweet-scorpion.

Abuse is very damaging to the self and the best thing to do is to stay away from this person.. I guess you cannot do that now but please try your best to protect yourself emotionally and physically. This is so terrible, I am truly sorry.

Please stay safe.

Blessings ~

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ShyVirgo1979
Knowflake

Posts: 525
From:
Registered: May 2011

posted June 03, 2012 10:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ShyVirgo1979     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ohhh my dear I'm so sorry u hafta go thru this I've had similar experiences and it cuts deep into ur soul like a knife. I'm no expert with synastry and I can't read chart wheels so I'm of no help here. But ami anne has threads on here about the asteroids dejanira and nessus. They have to do with abusive/victim relationships. I would include those in the chart as well. Ur situation will change once ur in ur adult stage and no longer live there. Altho the scars will more than likely last a long time. I'll say prayers for u sweetie.

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