posted June 21, 2012 04:54 PM            

maybe someone who knows more about these things will be of greater help to you (sorry i'm not an expert).

however i noticed that the Venus retrograde is currently transiting you natal Moon (which also rules your ASC) ... maybe that's why your emotions are going through a tough time currently!

Venus will be turning direct on June 27th and officially the retrograde Venus period ends on July 31st !

here's an article on it: http://darkstarastrology.com/venus-retrograde/

a nice tidbit :

''The journey ends on July 31 2012 with Venus leaving the retrograde zone at 24 Gemini, the same position at the retrograde station. The same star Alnilam with Venus gives ”Trouble through love affairs, scandal, enemies among women“. This has been the major theme running through all this story. It started with confronting the karmic pain, the deep wound in the soul memory of being abandoned, betrayed or rejected. Just like the retrograde station, Venus is trine Saturn meaning the end result is maturity and wisdom from having dealt seriously with the issues and any guilt or shame is lifted.''

+

''So the journey is one of healing a broken heart. We all have this somehwere, either now in time, or in the past. Venus retrograde in 2012 is intense, a transit of Venus, an eclipse, Uranus square Pluto, and all those major fixed fixed stars with an emphasis on love relationships. This final chart shows the end result, a more mature approach to loving, and the healing and transformation of the wounded ego.''

Things will get better when Venus goes direct again, I'm sure. especially because you will have this wonderful transit coming next---> between End of July 2012 until end of March 2013 - transit Jupiter conjunct natal Moon: Emotionally secure (from Astro.com)

''This is an extremely positive time. You feel emotionally secure and in touch with your feelings, which you can express clearly and honestly, both to yourself and to others. At the same time you have an enormous feeling of generosity, which enables you to give to others much more freely than usual without feeling diminished in any way. This influence relates to the nurturing function within you, the desire to protect and care for as well as the desire to be supported. You can nurture another at this time, or if you need help yourself, you will get it.''

posted June 22, 2012 08:21 AM            

I checked some more transits and I think maybe these transits will explain more:
(from Astro.com)

Saturn conjunction Sun: Concentrating energy
(Mid December 2011 until end of September 2012) :

''Those areas of your life that have not worked out as expected should not be regarded as complete failures. Several years ago when you embarked on these projects, you may not have understood as much as you understand now. This influence will make you aware of this fact. Don't start out on a new course until you have cleared up whatever has not worked out.
During this time you may feel cut off from others and lonely, but do not be too concerned about this. Even if this influence coincides with the breaking up of a relationship, which it may, it means that the relationship itself is distracting you from matters that you must attend to now. This is a time for concentrating energy, not scattering it. ''

Uranus conjunction Saturn: A conflict of principles
(Beginning of May 2012 until end of March 2013) :

''At this time in your life, structures you thought were dependable and permanent will be threatened by sudden events. It is often a time of great tension and sudden releases of tension.
Usually tension has been building up for many years in several areas of your life. These tensions are most commonly the result of the little compromises that we all make between what we want out of life and what we feel we can get. But some of these compromises may violate your inner integrity even though you don't realize it. Subconsciously you are aware of it, however, and a force for change begins to operate that eventually will try to overthrow the limiting aspects of your life. It begins to surface as an unbearable tension between your desire to be free of restrictions and your fear of insecurity and change.
Eventually you get to the point that something has to give, which happens suddenly. People usually respond to this influence with sudden actions that surprise others because they happen without warning and are apparently unpremeditated. You may break off an unsatisfactory relationship, marriage or business partnership, leave a job that has become oppressive or suddenly break away from something else that has become a burden. Ultimately, no matter how disruptive this influence seems, it is a force for good, because it clears away those built-up structures that had been holding you back. ''

Jupiter square Venus: Warmth of feeling
(Mid August 2012 until mid April 2013) :

''This influence can create within you genuine warmth of feeling and the desire to give and express love to others. Unfortunately it can also make you feel very unenterprising and passive, so that you wait for things to come to you when you ought to go out after them. It is very hard to tell which of these two broad classes of response to expect, but generally speaking, the first is more common.

On occasions this influence may mean that you will attract someone with whom you could have a significant relationship, but it may not be an easy relationship. It is likely to be quite constructive, however, and whether or not you realize it immediately, you will gain from it in wisdom and maturity.

This influence stimulates your love of beauty. Make every effort to surround yourself with beauty, such as pleasant surroundings, art objects or beautiful scenery. ''

I really think the worst will soon be behind you, as I said especially because this is one of the best transits to have>>>

Jupiter conjunction Moon: Emotionally secure
(End of July 2012 until end of March 2013) :

''Your home and personal life are very important to you during this time, and you will work to make this area as positive as possible. You may simply make your home more comfortable and elegant, or on a more psychological level you may bring friends and neighbors to your home in order to make them feel good, as well as yourself.
Regardless of your own sex, you may receive some benefit from a woman who offers to help or care for you in some way. Often her function in your life will be to reveal to you what is within and to make you more self-sufficient. This person could even be a man, but he would affect you in a maternal way.''

posted June 25, 2012 11:48 PM            

June 2012
*Uranus - Saturn
reorganisation of old structures, moving on from stereotype, disrupting security and stability, discovering the correct ratio between tradition and progress
*Pluto - Saturn
transformation of old structures, a crisis because of the authorities, a test of extreme resistance, intense concentration, transformation of rigid forms, a chance to deepen stability

July 2012
*Jupiter - Saturn
discovering one's own limits and borders, expansion through the authorities, development through strain and self-restriction, a test of controlling one's enthusiasm
*Jupiter - Moon
development of emotional or private life, opening one's inside, getting to know actual relationships in the family, understanding one's own needs, interest of the surroundings

August 2012
*Jupiter - Venus
broadening horizons through relationships, development of love or sensual life, discovering real values or truth about the close people
*Neptune - Jupiter
idealisation of various opinions and convictions, inspiration in spiritual search, perceptivity towards broadening horizons, development through fantasy or hidden aspects of the existence

September 2012
*Saturn - Sun
concentration on one's own personality and its vitality, maturing through authorities, hardening oneself, realisation of one's own limits and borders
*Saturn - Mars
maturing through one's own actions, concentration of energy, physical strain, real assesment of one's own strength, obstacles in winning recognition, fight against the rules or the authorities

October 2012
*Saturn - Jupiter
concentration on one's own development, hardening of the faith, slow or hampered expansion, deepening of the knowledge, formation of ideals, maturing of the growing abilities

March 2013
*Pluto - Descendant
possible radical change of the view of relationships in general, purification of couple or friendly bonds, either deepening or decay of couple life, intense emotions in relationships

April 2013
*Uranus - Moon
reorganisation of private life, chance to move on from restricting feelings, needs or habits, emotional excitation or surprise

May 2013
*Jupiter - Pluto
test of faithfulness or openness towards hidden powers, discovering one's own might or regeneration powers, development through extreme feelings and crises

June 2013
*Uranus - Ascendant
unexpected discovering of one's own existential essence, need to differ from the surroundings, surprising actions, possible change in behaviour or health, excitation
*Jupiter - Uranus
discovering one's own uniqueness and independency, need of openness towards unusual thoughts, unexpected development, sudden surprises during growth and expansion
*Jupiter - Medium Coeli
openness towards new opportunities, deeper understanding of one's own goals, chance for development of social status, discovering one's potential for expansion
*Jupiter - Sun
discovering the level of vitality or self-confidence, development of individuality, broadening horizons, understanding chances to grow, realisation of one's actual life energy and will
*Jupiter - Mars
discovering one's real strength and courage, understanding the meaning of one's own activities, development through actions, a lesson of optimal use of energy, fight for ideals
*Jupiter - Jupiter
development through faith and education, discovering truth, understanding the opportunities to grow, test of respecting the optimal rate, openness towards social expansion

posted June 26, 2012 08:42 AM            

Anchi,I just pray that I make good choices as I move forward.You have really helped a lot,and I want you to know that I appreciate it.

Chalk,indeed these are filled with ambiguity.It sounds a lot like dice tossed up in the air lol.Makes for a scared old girl.I feel like I need to strap myself into a seatbelt for a scary ride.So afraid I will not navigate properly.

I wrote so much more here and erased.I have been really censoring myself lately.