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Author
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Topic: Help!
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Libreo
Knowflake Posts: 1023
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 16, 2012 10:14 PM
  
My boyfriend is driving me insane. But 2 things, I don't have his TOB and also I can't upload charts. His DOB is 11 June 1980 Gosford Australia. He is very very VERY hard to live with. I think he has problems of some kind. Can anyone have a look at him and help me?IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 428
From: En Cee
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted July 16, 2012 10:19 PM
 Here is the chart. I hope it is okay with you that I named it "Gemini".
I'm seeing some problematic aspects...but without birth time (and I put no birth time for it) Interpretation might be a lil difficult. IP: Logged |
Libreo
Knowflake Posts: 1023
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 16, 2012 10:20 PM
Thankyou, can you tell me some more about the problematic aspects you see?
Also, I don't know if it helps anyone to see the problem (maybe it's only with me) but mine is 21 Oct 73 Inverell Australia (TOB 2.07pm).IP: Logged |
FireMoon
Knowflake Posts: 454
From: Minnesota
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted July 16, 2012 10:26 PM
Hi Libreo, sorry if this is personal, but is this the same bf you posted an earlier thread about? If so, I'm sorry you have to deal with that... I'm really not great at reading charts but the first thing I noticed is he has sun conjunct venus both opposite Neptune and square saturn. So that right there presents a lot of issues for him to deal with... Anyway I wish you the best and hope someone can offer a more informative reading... IP: Logged |
Libreo
Knowflake Posts: 1023
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 16, 2012 10:29 PM
What kind of issues Firemoon? And yeah, same guy. That particular problem has gone away now (thank God) but there are now oh so many others. IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 428
From: En Cee
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted July 16, 2012 10:32 PM
I'm no expert by any means but right off the bat I noticed the T-squares he has.Sun-Neptune-Mars
Venus-Neptune-Saturn
Sun-Neptune-Saturn
(His Mars and Saturn conjunction are the "apex" of this configuration, thus the areas they rule over affect his personality) Venus does not make an aspect to his Mars but anywho... His Sun-Venus conjunction has squares to it from Saturn, which can indicate a low self-esteem and bad self image as a result of abandonment, problems stemming from an earlier age, trouble with authority. The squares in his chart might give him a lot of energy and probably instability in his personality too.
His moon is either in Taurus or Gemini opposed Uranus. This aspect can indicate somebody who is hot and cold with their emotions and does not find security easily...but if he is a Gemini moon then maybe this aspect is not so important.
Mars conjunct Saturn, he is extremely hard on himself, and is prone to want control over himself or others. This is an extreme case, but I have known abusive men with this placement. I am not saying every man in the world with a Mars-Saturn aspect will hit a woman or display abusive behavior, but I have seen it before. Aggression meets Discipline. This might seep over into his sex life too, might desire control in that area.
Sun and Venus opposed Neptune can be attractive aspects to an indicidual, maybe they are deceptive in appearance, as though you would guess he is one thing and in fact he is compeletely different. Venus opp Neptune may have issues in the romantic life, projecting ideals on the partner or wearing the rose-tinted glasses to avoid problems. Just to name a few...I could be off.
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CAY_512
Knowflake Posts: 294
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted July 16, 2012 10:33 PM
Can you post your chart. That might help. To see where his planets fall in your chart.
To me, people are like transits with their planets in your chart and life. It would help shine some light on why there is tension. IP: Logged |
Libreo
Knowflake Posts: 1023
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 16, 2012 10:35 PM
Yeah you just described him. Hot & cold like nothing else. I was also going to ask if it could be abusive. And yes he definatley wants control over me. IP: Logged |
Libreo
Knowflake Posts: 1023
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 16, 2012 10:36 PM
quote:
Originally posted by CAY_512:
Can you post your chart. That might help. To see where his planets fall in your chart.
To me people are like transits. It would help shine some light on why there is tension.
I can't post charts, can anyone help me with this?
IP: Logged |
FireMoon
Knowflake Posts: 454
From: Minnesota
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted July 16, 2012 10:38 PM
Well Sun/Neptune aspects can make it really difficult for someone to keep a firm grip on reality. Sun and Venus opposite Neptune screams addiction to me. Alcohol, substance abuse, sex addiction, co-dependancy... Whatever form it takes, I would bet he's had to battle some form of addiction or another at some point. Then venus square saturn... This can be a managable aspect for a mature person, but these people may associate love with duty, or feel hyper sensitive to rejection. They may find it hard to love themselves let alone a partner, and this can result in them projecting their own issues or insecurities onto their partners. But I really don't want to say much else since this is just off the top of my head and I'm sure other people would be better able to tell you more. Anyway sorry you're going through that  IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 428
From: En Cee
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted July 16, 2012 10:41 PM
I'll post your synastry chart in a sec. Unless someone beats me to it.IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 428
From: En Cee
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted July 16, 2012 10:41 PM
 IP: Logged |
FireMoon
Knowflake Posts: 454
From: Minnesota
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted July 16, 2012 10:41 PM
Also here's a link to info about moon square Uranus aspect
http://sasstrology.com/2010/06/the-detached-lover-aspects-between-the-moon-and-uranus-in-the-natal-chart.html IP: Logged |
Libreo
Knowflake Posts: 1023
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 16, 2012 10:55 PM
Reading all this stuff makes me feel sick. It's all true.IP: Logged |
Libreo
Knowflake Posts: 1023
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 16, 2012 11:08 PM
Thanks Firemoon & Lazyscarecrow. It's like he is trying to teach me a lesson because I won't let him control me, and because I put my kids before him. His attitude is "I'll show you, you don't really mean much to me anyway", yet at the same time claims to be in love with me. He has such a bad attitude. My kids are now spending more and more time in their bedrooms to get away from the tension. Before he moved in, all we did was laugh (the kids and I) now I can't remember the last time we did that. And he's bleeding me dry financially. Cigarettes, cigarettes and more cigarettes, debt collectors after him too. He hates his Dad because his Dad was an alcoholic and cheated on his mum and his Dad never supported his mum. But he is turning into his father. I bet he's cheated on me too.IP: Logged |
FireMoon
Knowflake Posts: 454
From: Minnesota
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted July 16, 2012 11:42 PM
Aw Libreo I want to give you a huge hug I understand that it's a lot more complicated than saying just leave he's no good... But really he sounds like no good and you should leave him because you don't deserve to go through that or have your kids go through that either... He sounds like he'd be really good at playing the victim but he isn't a victim he's in control of his own actions as an adult, and you don't have to be a victim of his behavior either...  IP: Logged |
Libreo
Knowflake Posts: 1023
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 16, 2012 11:48 PM
Thankyou, I know I'll get to a point where I can leave and never look back, & I believe I will. I'm just not there yet. But I can see everything clearly for what it is. My feelings for him are rapidly dying. I think I'm preparing myself for the breakup. My 13 year old thankfully will also be ok, even though to start with she loved him, the other night on the couch she nudged me and whispered "you can't live like this". Thing is when he is in a good mood he is very hard to resist. But those times are few & far between now.IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 428
From: En Cee
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted July 17, 2012 12:22 AM
I agree with FireMoon in that I pray you and the kids will be alright as you find your way out. I know it won't happen right away but I hope things work out. Your daughter's concern for you is really sweet. Best wishes Libreo, positive things will happen in time. IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 8440
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 17, 2012 03:30 AM
His directed chart's a mess. Dominating, aggressive, power grabs to gain the upper hand, manipulative, belligerent, looking for a fight, meeting restrictions, being faced with tension over how far he's come and what his past means for his future, loss of love, rejection, anger at the partner or women in general. Jupiter's coming up to aggravate his natal t square off and on til June thereabouts of next yr. So it's not you, it's him, but hopefully knew that already.
Now with you. You're gonna be making either a career move/change that'll impact your home situation, or just reverse the entire order of how things are being run on the home front. That energy is building, it'll mark a period of independence, you'll be exploring new ground. Right now that's been tough because you're unsure of where you're supposed to be headed, how to proceed, you're sensitive to hurting someone. This situation is manifesting like being in this relationship is a mark against you, so you're bearing the brunt of it. But you don't have to play that role. Your thoughts are really dark right now and scared, you feel violence around you on this sensitive psychic level. You may have recently been through the loss of someone close. It could also manifest in the home life feeling a dangerous place, tumultuous, that when you sleep at night you need extra protection before you close your eyes sorta thing, so you're dropped into this emotional storm sometimes. Adding to this influence is a reliable marker for depression. The one major thing you have at your disposal to combat this is possibly a group you're involved with to get these thoughts out into the open, so they're not so intensely compacted as it were. Likely within the past week there was something that triggered this feeling in you, even stronger than before, and you felt threatened and very vulnerable/sensitive to the influence. It's moving past this point but right now it's still within the realm of affecting you in this way. You've been under a relatively new influence of re-assessing the ways you make money, how much financial security you really need to get by. This may help you in getting out of this situation. It's definitely triggering insecurity tho. Your relationship with an alcoholic is shown in the directed chart too, but it could've manifested differently. The more important thing is that you really are at a point where you can go off on your own, and I mean attempt things that you wouldn't have attempted in the past, but he/your home life with him, is standing in the way, he could be undermining your belief in your abilities, causing you to doubt yourself. You have so much going on in your chart right now. I could write at least 3 more paragraphs. But the energy is building of a relationship ending suddenly, and that it would impact you on the emotional level/home front as a shock or surprise, as you're very sensitive to partnerships at this time, you want peace and stability, and to get along, but other forces are at work that you can't control. This could also be a marker for someone seeing into your vulnerabilities and using your concern for harmony against you, as a way to gain the upper hand, this is a separate influence from above. Another influence is building that impacts your physical well being, sudden disputes with others, I'm gonna be honest, in directed charts this can signal damage to your body. Right now it's signaling the rocky road of your relationship. You're trying to get peace here thinking the other person might listen to reason, you have to accept that others aren't going to be on your wavelength, are going through different things, and have different tensions that they have to work out. The more you push for someone to be fair and see your side of things, the more at risk you are for drawing physical harm. If you haven't been in a serious accident by now consider yourself lucky. I hope this guy hasn't been physically abusive to you but if he has, this could also signal that. The energy around Aug 8th has you itching for freedom on the home front, some restlessness there, maybe an opportunity arises. Around June 30th thereabouts it occurred to you how different things would be if you made a change, how there were maybe hints of how you could get that change to occur. But at the same time there's an influence counteracting that that hints at strong self pity, and this weakening you, again allowing others to take advantage of you. If you have gas components in your home, they need to be checked for possible malfunction, practical considerations. Could also point to drugs being introduced into your home. You're within the next week coming to a period where you're being challenged to value yourself, so consider that that was a problem in the past as well. You could be in such a hazy and vulnerable place right now that I don't know how much of that challenge you'll take on, but it's worth a try.
Anyway that's what stands out to me in both. Could always be wrong so take with grain of salt.
But I see you under some serious emotional pressure, maybe even feeling suicidal like it's all out of your control, and everything you say or do is being used against you. It actually looks scary to me, on the emotional front. Just hang in there, don't harm yourself or other people. Hope I'm wrong about it, but if I'm not, just hang on and wait it out. Positively you're at a time where you're getting a lot of insight into the way other people work, maybe at times wanting to numb out the feelings because they're so acute and you can't stop the info from coming in. This is another vulnerability. It also indicates you feeling v.protective of those you love and care for. Fiercely protective.IP: Logged |
Libreo
Knowflake Posts: 1023
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 17, 2012 06:21 AM
Lonake I thank you so much for doing this for me. I have to say I was very alarmed, at first all I saw was "damage to my body", "serious accident", "sudden shocking end to a relationship" and "feeling suicidal". I tried to read over it quickly with him in the room (and yes I did get questions "so what was so intriguing that you were reading?"), and all I could think about were my kids. I do hope everything will be ok but if they won't be, words can't express the gratitude I have for your warning.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 20641
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 17, 2012 11:11 AM
Moving to Personal Readings.------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 8440
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 17, 2012 05:28 PM
Sorry. I was under the impression that I could be honest in what I saw, thinking out loud regarding the possibilities, considering your situation alongside. But certain things were really obvious, like the depressive state. Definitely didn't mean to cause upset, so I won't comment further as I don't want things to be taken out of context. Just disregard whatever upset you.IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 8440
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 17, 2012 05:39 PM
But I will say one more thing, that it's helpful to research t.Saturn at 23 Libra, right on top your Uranus in the 8th. This is big for you right now.IP: Logged |
Libreo
Knowflake Posts: 1023
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 17, 2012 10:05 PM
There is no need to apologise Lonake. I was only alarmed because I was only able to skim over what you wrote. I am waiting for him to leave the house so that I can have a good read and give you some feedback  IP: Logged |
Libreo
Knowflake Posts: 1023
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 18, 2012 01:00 AM
Your description of him is very accurate. He is like an angry little man with no real reason to be angry. You know the funny thing? He is a twin and his sister couldn't be more different. She is concerned about me and always secretly texting me to check that me and my daughters are ok. She herself said there's often no explanation for his angry outbursts. I have at times thought, as you put it that this relationship is a 'mark against me', like some sort of karma from doing somebody wrong once upon a time or something. Yes I do feel afraid at home, but only when I know he is coming home after drinking. The other times when he gets angry I'm not afraid, but I am anxious about a sudden turn. Any little thing that goes wrong and he goes off. For example, he could be driving along in his car and it will make a noise that it shouldn't make and look out!
It's interesting that you mention the past week I may have had the opportunity to get some of my concerns off my chest. This has happened but with the most unlikely of people. His family are very tight knit but it's them who I have unexpectedly been able to turn to. They have been very understanding. It was his mother who told me he seems to be turning into his father.
I feel like right before I met him I was at a place where after 10 years of uphill struggle, I was finally on my feet. I had money saved, I was healthier than ever, and I'm not sure if my independance was something he saw and went after or not, but I no longer feel like I'm on my feet. I can feel myself slipping from the place I worked so hard to get to. Slowly, but it's happening. Which makes me wonder if what you refer to as damage to my physical body in relation to a relationship could be me resuming smoking after finally kicking it once and for all. I had stopped totally, I'd tried for years to stop and I did. I was not smoking for a year but as soon as we got together I had the odd one here & there and now I'm right back at square one. Could this be the damage to my body that you refer to?
So far he is not physically abusive, unless you want to count the issue I write about in my earlier thread titled "Erm". That hung around for a little while even after I told him no, but I think now it's been put to bed.
June 30th was significant, that was a day I realised how incredibly irrational his possessiveness and jealousy really is. And how power hungry he is. I have also learned not to reveal ANYTHING about my past whatsoever. Even if it's perfectly innocent, he somehow misinterprets it and throws it back in my face at a later time. So yes I do feel like things I say and do are used against me.IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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