posted August 07, 2012 03:25 PM            

But what really upsets me it his conduct with me. Today we had a pediatrician appointment. My daughter was very upset during the visit. basically she was terrified!!! She finally calmed downed and fell a sleep on my shoulder. When the doctor left. He got up and He cornered me in a corner of the room (My daughter was a sleep on a my shoulder). He started to whisper "***** , Liar,Crazy" . I asked him to stop he ignored it. I asked him we should not talk about adult problems in front of our daughter. He continued. Finally, I almost screamed "Stop it and let me go". the nurse heard it and entered the room. His attitude completely changed. Honestly I have never seen such a change in anybody. He acted like he was trying to take a baby from my shoulder. he woke her up. and she started to cry again . The nurse looked at me like I was crazy. I am so tired. I came to home and I cried, and I cried some more. I could not stop crying for 2 hours. Why?.... it happened to me? Why I have to go through this kind of **** ? I resented the situation.
This whispering continues for a long time. about 3 weeks ago he whispered "I hate you"
about 5 months ago he cornered me again in a lobby of my condo and said "***** , **** "

I am so tired
when it is going to stop? I am living with that for 2 years (since 5 months pregnancy).
I am really trying not to engage and stay out of conflict for the sake of my daughter. but I guess I reached my point. I can not take it anymore.
The sad part is. The father of my baby tries to act so reasonable in front of anybody but as soon he and I would be alone. he would turn to another person. Abusive and manipulative. Only handful of people know his true nature.
I do not how to deal with him. as a matter of fact I do not want to deal with him period.

I know I wrote a lot but I am so tired and all cried out. I guess I need to vent. I also want somebody to look at my transit chart. and see If anything good coming my way. if not, I guess I have to suck it up.
I am not complaining. I am just very very tired and regretful that I met his person in my life. But I do not regret having my little sunshine. She is truly a miracle child. and I love her MORE than anything.
The funny part is she is a spitting image of her father

posted August 08, 2012 03:40 PM            

i'm not an expert on transits, but a few things stand out.

you have transit Saturn opposing natal Moon.:

''When Saturn transits square or opposition the Moon, we may be feeling overlooked, left out, on our own, and even uncared for. This transit sometimes occurs when changes on the domestic front leave us feeling "alone in this world", such as when we move out on our own, are separated from family or other loved ones, and so forth. Domestic problems may be part of the picture, often connected to women and sometimes the mother. Everyday coping skills can be compromised at this time--chores and routines seem to be harder to do or more burdensome than usual. It can be hard for us to take risks at this time, and we are likely to focus on the negatives in our lives. Fears and insecurities of all kinds are magnified during this period--fear of rejection, fear of what the future might bring, fear that we won't be able to handle our lives masterfully, and so forth. Although we may long for emotional support from others, we don't receive it well if it is forthcoming. We may be given to sulking, feeling sorry for ourselves, dredging up the past, and focusing on what we haven't done or can't do. We may be feeling awkward and self-conscious, and consequently less sociable as spontaneity is lacking for us now. It is important to remember that this is very much our perception at this time, and it can be managed if we are aware of the general meaning of Saturn's influences. It is a time when we are called upon to take a realistic look at our personal and emotional lives. This is a period when progress on the domestic front is slow, delayed, or denied. Our personal popularity is weakened temporarily, and business may also be affected. The best way of handling this energy is to recognize that it's a time to slow down and re-evaluate our personal lives, and that pushing ourselves to do too much will be frustrating and possibly costly. We need more rest than usual, and we need to learn to rely on ourselves for the time being. This is a time when we are called upon to examine our priorities and make necessary changes to our daily routines in order to improve our lives.'' http://www.cafeastrology.com/saturntransitaspects.html

now this aspect has been affecting you for the past few months. the good thing is Saturn is now direct and moving forward & away from your Moon. i think the worst is behind you. things should definitely be looking better in the next few weeks/months.

transit Chiron also causing wounds on your natal Ceres. but Chiron brings healing too, and you definitely deserve it.

the transit Jupiter might help here. it's in 7th of relationships bringing some light, it sextiles natal Mars, ruler of 5th(children).

Jupi will go to 15th Gemini then turn retro in about 2 months, and will travel retro until end of January. On january 31st it will turn direct on 6 Gemini. i thought it was interesting, because then it will be eaxctly 0 degrees square your natal Ceres. any aspect with Jupiter is great even the square. for some reason i think that is important in your chart.

ok like i said it's not my expertise. lol