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Author
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Topic: Cancer man... proceeding with caution.
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32samsara
Newflake Posts: 6
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted August 15, 2012 07:19 PM
  
So I've been trolling away trying to find some answers - aren't we all - and finally got the courage to ask. I had a flirtation with a cancer man that slowly progressed into us starting an intimate affair. We saw each other frequently, texted all the time, and had such a light and playful relationship, with a lot of warmth and depth too. He at times would talk about our future, and then at other times advised me not to get too attached - sending a lot of mixed signals. I kept a cool head and said I was happy with how things stood. He invited me to his house and we spent many good times cuddling and just being together.Then all of a sudden I sensed a withdrawal. His communication was not what it had been and just seemed like he wanted to detach, and all conversations lost a note of romanticism and kinda like he reinserted me in the friend zone. Though I wanted to completely breakdown, I avoided the urge to cling and just let him kinda slip into that new spot. The first time I saw him after nearly a week of this withdrawal, he was at first aloof, then opened up a bit more, making eye contact with me, making inside jokes that are only known between he and I, and then came and sat like 2 inches from me.
I engaged him, was friendly, smiled, but didn't cross this new line. Now another week has gone by and he has withdrawn even more, going a few days without any communication. Thinking this is the 'dance,' I have just backed off and left the ball in his court. Smart move? Am I blowing it? Does he need more reassurance? Should I say I miss him... because I so totally do. I hope he can't sense my slightly pathetic nature at the moment, because I really would love nothing more than how it was. Any thoughts? I'm a sun/sag, moon/taurus, asc/aquarius, with my venus in capricorn and my mercury in scorpio. He's a sun/cancer, moon/sag, asc/aries, with both venus and mercury in leo. Also, when I charted us in the composite, we have venus, mercury, mars, and sun all in our 7th house. Venus is very favorably aspected, but our sun has much less favorable aspects like sun square neptune. Any thoughts on this type of composite 7th house? IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 20810
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 15, 2012 07:26 PM
Welcome! Moving to Personal Readings.------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
VenusDiSirius
Knowflake Posts: 4009
From: Surfing Kite. Seriously.
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted August 15, 2012 07:30 PM
Welcome !  What's H7 doing? Have you compared his natal with composite?
Sun sq Nep is a complicated thing to have both in composite and synastry - without that he is very conflicted going by his planets only,I assume H4 Can Sun and H9 Sag Moon. IP: Logged |
32samsara
Newflake Posts: 6
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted August 15, 2012 07:58 PM
Thanks for taking the time to read. As I don't wish to disclose to much personal information, can you tell me a bit more about how I would go about comparing his natal with the composite?In terms of compatibility, I have no idea what I'm looking for in synastry charts. Any recommendations for resources? I'm sorry I'm such a noob. Yes, in natal, he's H4 can sun and H8 sag moon. Can you elaborate on this internal conflict created by his planets? Should I stay away?? Ha, I've had terrible luck with a cancer in the past, but just find this one so alluring. Thanks again! IP: Logged |
VenusDiSirius
Knowflake Posts: 4009
From: Surfing Kite. Seriously.
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted August 15, 2012 08:26 PM
The stellium you mentioned (Sun,Merc,Ven and Mars in composite's H7) is very good,indeed. What the sign on the H7 cusp? (the beginning of the H7) I imagine him being home & security loving,love as sanctuary type of fella,very into commitment,someone who comes from good family / good upbringing that installed confidence in him,but not without some serious lessons - we have probing H8 Moon,that sees a lot,and often to their pain. So,there is a division within the Moon principles (soul & basic needs,type of women they choose to form lasting bonds with,mother,etc) where you have H8 Moon which is Scorpionic in nature,since Scorpio naturally rules H8: desire to find the one,with same intensity and absolute devotion and Sag Moon,the notorious wanderlust,philosopher and free spirit. Maybe he is testing your feelings for him,and at the same time maintaining much desired "freedom"? You see what aspects his natal planets make to planets in composite.(his attitude towards this relationship) We discuss a lot what is good to have in synastry,but some general guidelines would be: Sun/Moon aspects
Mars/Venus,Mars/Moon
Pluto to Venus,Moon
Moons in aspect
Overlays in H5,7,8
contacts between angles and personal planets
nodes,vertex aspecting personal planets It depends on your natal,really,which synastric energy would suit you best. IP: Logged |
birdy
Knowflake Posts: 504
From: Sunny
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted August 15, 2012 08:27 PM
I knew a guy with his Sun/Moon/Mercury. Funny guy but on a romantic level, he was a mess, completely clueless to his gaffes(Sagi Moon?).
He use to want me to like him for years, it was obvious but once I did start liking him romantically, ran like a deer. lol wth? Sagi Moon in a male for you. Is his moon in conjunction to Uranus by any chance?IP: Logged |
32samsara
Newflake Posts: 6
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted August 16, 2012 02:20 AM
@venus - yes, he is as you pictured him. He is from a nice, warm home, and definitely is a homebody. He spends a lot of time projecting into the future about 'the one' and the family he will have. He often pictured us having a family, so early on in the relationship. I also sense in him that need for freedom, but me being a sag sun, I totally get this and am very good at providing space. Our communication is pretty lacking up till now - he just sort of went, and I just sort of let him. That's why now I'm second guessing my decision of silence and space, and wondering if he doesn't need reassurance. We were in a relationship, but nothing with a label. Maybe that was hurtful. I'm not sure. He does seem somewhat conflicted and he told me early on that he's a mean person. I think he's not at all, and that he withdraws for protection because he's quite sensitive, but I could be off on this.I'm still attempting to look into our synastry to see more. Those charts are difficult for me to interpret. Thanks for helping me to narrow it down, I appreciate it. @birdy - Yes, he's very funny - I first was attracted to his sense of humor, very odd and eccentric humor. His moon is sextile to Uranus. Do you think he's the type that will come back - move in and out of a relationship searching for what he most wants? I suppose I fell quite hard for him and didn't want to admit it, now I'm just left confused, but I'm ok letting good things go to see if they were meant to return. Thanks. IP: Logged |
32samsara
Newflake Posts: 6
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted August 16, 2012 02:41 AM
Oh, and the sign on our H7 cusp in composite is virgo. IP: Logged |
VenusDiSirius
Knowflake Posts: 4009
From: Surfing Kite. Seriously.
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted August 16, 2012 07:08 AM
I don't know what to think about him saying he'mean,odd or oddly considerate So,the composite H7 ruler in H7- that's some heavy relationship material.
I know how Uraninan people react in these romantic surroundings,and I can tell you - all is possible. I'd suggest you keeping your ground,being polite and nice but at distance.
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32samsara
Newflake Posts: 6
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted August 16, 2012 04:34 PM
@venus - heavy relationship material? Ack, please explain more. This whole thing kind of freaks me out. I plan to do what you say, but I haven't exactly expressed my true feelings for him. Should I and then back off? Well right now he's not responding to me, so I suppose that won't work. I dunno, I'm thinking about packing it in and going on to the next, it's just there is such a strong draw (maybe obsession) that pulls me in his direction. And what does that aspect do in terms of relationship - moon/uranus - makes them confused, scared, shortlived? I so appreciate your responses - thank you for your knowledge!IP: Logged |
VenusDiSirius
Knowflake Posts: 4009
From: Surfing Kite. Seriously.
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted August 16, 2012 08:17 PM
This is what I perceived based on a few composite charts - very solid composites and synastries,when H7 ruler is in H7 - both easy and hard aspected - the couple develops very pragmatic,consciously dependent relation : they are out for a glue that'll keep them together (working on it),they vibe very much "meant for each other". Sometimes this combination outweighs the position and aspects regarding composite chart's ruler. Even whey they break up,the sentiment lingers,and they remember/compare the new times with the old,which they consider exemplary. Of course,I must mention that all of these couples have maintain relationships during significant period of time,and therefore had opportunities and time to develop the potential represented by the composite (and some progressions in their synastry) In general,very good basis for any kind of developing partnership.I call him Uranian because of Uranus/Moon sextile,Moon is receptive in nature,and the Uranian influx of energy is potent,being an outer planet; Whatever you do,he'd consider that from two points of view 1)freshly from withdrawal Cancer POV and "I'll wait till she is tested a bit" Moon in H8 POV 2)"She's cool,this has been cool" Sag Moon/Uranian POV ^ Can't do much more,since I haven't seen his chart.
You know,I am a Cap Moon,Leo Sun - I'll always suggest haughty,dignified path If I were to guess,cold shoulder would lead him to the boiling point,but the time which he'd take to get to that point would be long -thanks to his chillin' side.
IP: Logged |
32samsara
Newflake Posts: 6
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted August 19, 2012 07:01 PM
I feel like I am failing this testing period miserably. Kinda difficult to pass it when you've got no idea how to even begin to start. So we see each other in a forced circumstance weekly, and again he was so nice, making eye contact, making inside jokes, sat so close to me, and even started texting me afterward. He made a comment that he wanted me to come over, but it was so late, I kinda brushed it off. I felt I might have slighted him, so I was forward with him the next day, he said he wanted to see me, and then when the time came for me to go over, he no longer did. I AGAIN, kept my cool, not easy for a fire sign, but I did and then he texted me late night wanting to talk. I was sleeping, didn't text him back until I saw it. I cannot figure him out... But now again, I'm back to wanting to maintain a very safe distance, because he seems either too shy or disinterested to meet back up with me again. Very strange after what we shared. I think you are right in your estimations. @Venus ... the waiting game begins again. So I did some charts that maybe you wouldn't mind taking a look at. Both natals, composite, and synastry. I really do appreciate your help and advice with my situation. See anything in there to be cautious of or anything pointing to something solid? I have been thinking lately I need to be more patient in general... maybe this man is the ultimate test      Thank you!!
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