posted September 12, 2012 09:41 PM            

i have no idea what it is. i stopped taking a certain acne med thinking it was a reaction. still happened. stopped reading tarot thinking it was crazy metaphysical... still happened, though it slowed. i'm getting better at handling them -- but they are so intense, i get the worst headaches. it just isn't fun. went to a doc, he was like... rofl you're fine.

posted September 12, 2012 10:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by beccathelion:
hey guys -- so for the last couple months, i've been having weird episodes. i don't know how to explain them other than i start to remember things that i dreamed about so vividly that, for a second, I have a hard time separating my reality from the dream... which in turn triggers a panic attack and from there, well, let's just say i have to sit down.

i have no idea what it is. i stopped taking a certain acne med thinking it was a reaction. still happened. stopped reading tarot thinking it was crazy metaphysical... still happened, though it slowed. i'm getting better at handling them -- but they are so intense, i get the worst headaches. it just isn't fun. went to a doc, he was like... rofl you're fine.

i just want to know if it's something to be concerned about. i guess a tarot reading would be cool. the triggers are usually rooms i am in... and in turn i remember strange people and voices and conversations. i don't know. this is a weird tarot request. i can trade somebody if they want. if it isn't medical... something weird, i want to know how to best handle it. how to embrace it, or if i even should. thanks.

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Hi beccathelion,

well it has to be quite scary for you, it would be for me at least. I would try my hand at this problem (I'm still a newbie). I may be try a new deck "le journal d'un rêveur" which could be more appropriated if my usual didn't help you. You will tell me.

The cause of your problem : 10 of swords
The way of dealing with it : XII the hangeg man rx
solving the problem : 9 of pentacles

I think you have became a kind of messanger of unhappiness, pain, difficult message to transmit. It will be interesting to know for who those messages are.
It's a rought period for you. And you can't do a lot of things about it except searching the cause which is what you do
Have you made recently a difficult choice or an old choice that you regret came back to you recently ? I feel like you have sacrifice something you liked and part of you is try to protect you by making either disconnect you from the harsh reality or making you realise that you shouldn't have to sacrifice anything.

Don't be stress, you will regain your balance. It's in a very concret project that you will find yourself understanding better what happened to you and more importantly regain your usual footing

Good luck and please keep me updated and tell me if it resonnate for you.

QUESTION: As for me, since someone tell me that my next week will be emotionnally charged, I would like to know in what direction my personal life is heading between my ex F with who I have unresolved business, my need to find my balance back since my agression, the stress upon my family, and my desire to find love again So much !

posted September 13, 2012 12:54 PM            

quote:

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QUESTION: As for me, since someone tell me that my next week will be emotionnally charged, I would like to know in what direction my personal life is heading between my ex F with who I have unresolved business, my need to find my balance back since my agression, the stress upon my family, and my desire to find love again So much !

Thank you.

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That's extremely interesting. I haven't had to give up anything really -- it's just been strange trying to open myself up to the experiences. I am terrified of them, because I don't know what they are, but they aren't every negative. I had one yesterday, and aside from trying to stave off a panic attack, it was fine. I just don't understand their purpose. No one tries to tell me anything. It's just like being picked up and transported back to a dream I don't even remember having... until the experience starts, and then I remember it like yesterday. I do want to know what they are. You said messenger -- especially for unhappy things? Could you explain that a bit more???

Alright!! Lots of questions in one, so, I went ahead with "Will F show back up and the unresolved be taken care of?"

Will F come back: Two of Wands (r)
Why/why not: The Fool (r)
Will the issues be resolved: Five of Cups
Why/why not: Knight of Swords (r)
What you should focus on to move forward and find love again: the World (r)

The Two (r) says he won't come back, because he isn't planning for the future. Something about his situation is alright for him; he likes where he is, even if it is somewhat stagnating towards his own growth. The Fool (r) just doubles this for me. He isn't paying attention to his wonderful side, his skills, his ability to get ahead in life. He is purposefully and rather foolishly ignoring his possibilities.

The 5 says to me the issues will never get resolved, and this will cause you pain for awhile, but I would say everything happens for a reason. There are better days ahead, just like there are two cups sitting upright behind the man in the card. Don't be sad about what you don't get; try to focus and be thankful for what you gain from it -- perspective, appreciation, etc. The Knight (r) just hammers this in as well. The truth isn't what's 100% looked for here. Restitution maybe? Like... a bandaid for a wrong-doing. Even if you could sit him down and have a one-on-one, he wouldn't be honest, or at least, that's what comes through to me.

posted September 13, 2012 04:33 PM            

Let's try this, not sure what to make of it

A CC is what I did

the present - the wheel of fortune - some unpredictable stuff happening to your head

the challenge - the queen of pents - are you trying to regain control of your life and deal with things that belong to this side, not the other one?

the nearest future - the chariot - you might be able to harness these things that get out of control

the root - the magician - the origin of these impressions is not evil. agree with isabelle that you became some kinda transmitter

the past - king of swords - were you in full control of your life and your mind?

the near future - page of cups - compassion and tenderness is what i see. perhaps this is what the experience will bring you

you - 3 swords - apparently it's bringing you down

your environment - 7 swords - apparently not offering support? pretending it's none of their business?

hopes and fears - king of pents - you wish to have a life of stability, with enough resources

the final outcome - the hermit - i do think this will leave you alone. also you will undergo some transformation through this, gain understanding of something

posted September 13, 2012 04:48 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by beccathelion:
That's extremely interesting. I haven't had to give up anything really -- it's just been strange trying to open myself up to the experiences. I am terrified of them, because I don't know what they are, but they aren't every negative. I had one yesterday, and aside from trying to stave off a panic attack, it was fine. I just don't understand their purpose. No one tries to tell me anything. It's just like being picked up and transported back to a dream I don't even remember having... until the experience starts, and then I remember it like yesterday. I do want to know what they are. You said messenger -- especially for unhappy things? Could you explain that a bit more???

Alright!! Lots of questions in one, so, I went ahead with "Will F show back up and the unresolved be taken care of?"

Will F come back: Two of Wands (r)
Why/why not: The Fool (r)
Will the issues be resolved: Five of Cups
Why/why not: Knight of Swords (r)
What you should focus on to move forward and find love again: the World (r)

The Two (r) says he won't come back, because he isn't planning for the future. Something about his situation is alright for him; he likes where he is, even if it is somewhat stagnating towards his own growth. The Fool (r) just doubles this for me. He isn't paying attention to his wonderful side, his skills, his ability to get ahead in life. He is purposefully and rather foolishly ignoring his possibilities.

The 5 says to me the issues will never get resolved, and this will cause you pain for awhile, but I would say everything happens for a reason. There are better days ahead, just like there are two cups sitting upright behind the man in the card. Don't be sad about what you don't get; try to focus and be thankful for what you gain from it -- perspective, appreciation, etc. The Knight (r) just hammers this in as well. The truth isn't what's 100% looked for here. Restitution maybe? Like... a bandaid for a wrong-doing. Even if you could sit him down and have a one-on-one, he wouldn't be honest, or at least, that's what comes through to me.

The factor to focus on to feel better and find love is the World (r), and here, I take it at total face value. Your world probably feels upside down, topsy-turvy, and you have no idea where to put your feet. Not only does the card itself indicate that you've come through a set of karmic cycles, but it suggests that you have the opportunity to have what you want, when you want, as long as you start making the changes needed. You hold the reins here. Reevaluate. What's caused you pain and stress? Kick it to the curb! What have you been neglecting that's truly brought you happiness? What dreams do you have? Work towards those! I get a heavy sense of... it's a story, really. The Little Engine That Could. "I think I can, I think I can," is all he says -- and that needs to be your mantra! Just start kicking ass and taking names. You are at a point in your life where the world is your oyster; you just have to figure out what it is you really want.

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Thank you for the reading even if I want my explanation and some closure which seems difficult to attaint for me. I feel like he shouldn't be the one right now to enjoy himself

I don't know if you know the myth of cassandra who could see the castroph in advance but nobody believe her ? Well you are not Cassandra, but there is a feeling to it. The fact that you could not control it or make something of it. I do feel (but it's very intuitive) that there is a message into all of this and the impact of all of this could be larger than you... so your role as a messanger.

I hope it help you a bit more.

posted September 13, 2012 05:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by andstuff:
Hi becca

Let's try this, not sure what to make of it

A CC is what I did

the present - the wheel of fortune - some unpredictable stuff happening to your head

the challenge - the queen of pents - are you trying to regain control of your life and deal with things that belong to this side, not the other one?

the nearest future - the chariot - you might be able to harness these things that get out of control

the root - the magician - the origin of these impressions is not evil. agree with isabelle that you became some kinda transmitter

the past - king of swords - were you in full control of your life and your mind?

the near future - page of cups - compassion and tenderness is what i see. perhaps this is what the experience will bring you

you - 3 swords - apparently it's bringing you down

your environment - 7 swords - apparently not offering support? pretending it's none of their business?

hopes and fears - king of pents - you wish to have a life of stability, with enough resources

the final outcome - the hermit - i do think this will leave you alone. also you will undergo some transformation through this, gain understanding of something

really hope you might be better at making sense of these cards

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So interesting. Yeah, my sense of it is that it isn't medical. The first time it happened was so overwhelming and unexpected that I actually threw up in a bathroom at work. I had a panic attack, because, like I said, it was hard to figure out if this was the dream again or real. It's always the most mundane things. I do see people I don't know, but the things we talk about are not... I don't know. There's no message or importance to any of it. They are just strange, blase. I've always been sort of connected to something different. My mom said I saw people in our house as a kid, and two dead relatives have visited me in dreams. Sort of just know things about people before they tell me. I don't know. I sort of believe if I opened myself up, I could really connect to something bigger than this world... but it scares the s**t out of me.

posted September 13, 2012 05:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by isabelle_lila:
Thank you for the reading even if I want my explanation and some closure which seems difficult to attaint for me. I feel like he shouldn't be the one right now to enjoy himself

I don't know if you know the myth of cassandra who could see the castroph in advance but nobody believe her ? Well you are not Cassandra, but there is a feeling to it. The fact that you could not control it or make something of it. I do feel (but it's very intuitive) that there is a message into all of this and the impact of all of this could be larger than you... so your role as a messanger.

I hope it help you a bit more.

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posted September 13, 2012 05:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by beccathelion:

So interesting. Yeah, my sense of it is that it isn't medical. The first time it happened was so overwhelming and unexpected that I actually threw up in a bathroom at work. I had a panic attack, because, like I said, it was hard to figure out if this was the dream again or real. It's always the most mundane things. I do see people I don't know, but the things we talk about are not... I don't know. There's no message or importance to any of it. They are just strange, blase. I've always been sort of connected to something different. My mom said I saw people in our house as a kid, and two dead relatives have visited me in dreams. Sort of just know things about people before they tell me. I don't know. I sort of believe if I opened myself up, I could really connect to something bigger than this world... but it scares the s**t out of me.

I do feel weird/stupid talking about all of that, and I do feel like if I tell someone they sort of think I'm off my rocker. Even this thing -- though it causes me pain (the worst of it is I feel like I inhaled a ton of water up my nose -- it burns my whole sinus cavity and my head hurts) but I want to get better at understanding them. I think the fear is subsiding... though it is very jolting. I want to know what they're for and what's the purpose. They came on suddenly and for no reason I can fathom, but yes, those cards make perfect sense and actually make me feel a little better. At least not cuckoo. I do very much wish for the King of Pentacles as a platform for my life, but I am also trying to enjoy the ride and go wherever the wind takes me. Great reading. Thank you. Can I return the favor?

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hey thanks for the feedback... so it's different from false awakening? basically you know what, some expert readers say tarot is not a way to get legal/medical advice. if you're worried perhaps just take some precautions and have an encephalogram done if it can be possible. you know. just to gain medical evidence it is not medical. might be a load off your mind. but then you said you've seen a doctor, so makes sense, probably your brain is ok

but then again these cards are not sinister. all they show is that you will be fine. the chariot for one strikes me as one good omen.

posted September 13, 2012 05:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by andstuff:
hey thanks for the feedback... so it's different from false awakening? basically you know what, some expert readers say tarot is not a way to get legal/medical advice. if you're worried perhaps just take some precautions and have an encephalogram done if it can be possible. you know. just to gain medical evidence it is not medical. might be a load off your mind. but then you said you've seen a doctor, so makes sense, probably your brain is ok

but then again these cards are not sinister. all they show is that you will be fine. the chariot for one strikes me as one good omen.

thanks for offering one back, do not feel obliged to though, but i do have a problem with my lover from the past (again). i haven't seen him for more than 2 years, yet what is happening is i keep receiving factual evidence that he still loves me. i am not in love anymore, but i'm in love with this past love affair, and i haven't found anything comparable. anyway, i've been having these random heartaches for no reason, have been feeling the same energy as came from being held by him, have all those weird sensations. i cannot go on like this. what is the purpose of this? what binds us together so much? what does he want? am i right thinking there's no patching up possible between us ever again? really whatever you see and if you have the time.... thanks x

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yeah, the doctor said i was fine and advised me to stop taking the medication for my own peace of mind, and they still happened. it's like... it's like i've dreamt about doing things i'm already doing. i was writing an email this morning, and halfway through, it hit me i'd done it and then i started seeing myself in the dream doing it, and remembering other people that were there -- even the song playing. i don't know. i'm probably just going insane, but it's good to know they aren't sinister. if the pain gets worse, absolutely i'd go to a doctor again. no nose bleeds or pressure headaches or anything, so i'm not too concerned. just confused.

posted September 13, 2012 05:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by beccathelion:
yeah, the doctor said i was fine and advised me to stop taking the medication for my own peace of mind, and they still happened. it's like... it's like i've dreamt about doing things i'm already doing. i was writing an email this morning, and halfway through, it hit me i'd done it and then i started seeing myself in the dream doing it, and remembering other people that were there -- even the song playing. i don't know. i'm probably just going insane, but it's good to know they aren't sinister. if the pain gets worse, absolutely i'd go to a doctor again. no nose bleeds or pressure headaches or anything, so i'm not too concerned. just confused.

i'm jumping on your spread right now. i'm going to go with an overall look if that's alright, or if you choose one of those specific questions, i can do that. i think an overview would be helpful though, just to gain some traction against the confusion.

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posted September 13, 2012 09:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by beccathelion:
That makes a lot of sense. Thank you! I just wish I know why and what for, you know? And yes, I TOTALLY understand about wanting the last word and the explanations. You've got to do what you think is right, but my overall feeling is you are on the path to healing and better off without him. I feel like he was sort of a wet blanket in your life... he held you back? Anyway, thank you so much!! <3 <3

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It's the problem to know why now, why me and for what purpose. I will try to find a pread that could help refine my reading about your actual state. But I'm not sure to find one which will be appropriate.

I don't think he held me back but it's true I was the one who push him to gain confidence, to try thing, to be more courageous. I was his muse and his beta-reader, his friend and his advisor. So I was a lot of things to him and he never deny that I have been perfect. But he was married and he didn't wanted to divorce and I was romantic and honnest so I didn't wanted to be his mistress. So we loved each other for nearly a year : just love, not benefit I know I was the only woman he treated like that.

posted September 14, 2012 11:00 AM            

i pulled a few cards for you & I don't know why but I was thinking which card will represent some evil force around you, Devil obviously

Why is this happening:
Two of Swords - The Devil

You are repressing some negative energies inside you. You are not sure how or whether to let it go or not. The Devil card has appeared so I will say there are some addictions or some negative things inside you which need a release. May be some part of you which needs to be revealed. if you have an addiction, let go of that.

What you should do:
Knight of Cups - Seven of Wands
This can be someone you trust, someone you love. Talk to them. you have to make some efforts for this but i hope you can feel better soon. A friend of same age or younger, possibly a compassionate man can help you with the struggle.if you are fighting back someone who is interested in you, then don't.

Hope you feel better soon.

posted September 14, 2012 06:17 PM            

Just one more little precision: What do you mean by the : "I get a heavy sense of... it's a story, really." ?