posted October 07, 2012 08:41 PM            

There is a guy i know for about 5 years now. We met on internet and in real life two years ago. After our meeting i knew he is the one i've been looking for. He went working abroad two days later and i haven't seen him or hear from him in about a year and a half. I waited for him that much. He came back to his hometown and didn't mention anything about meeting me again.

After he left he told me he likes me but we can't be together because of the distance and his job abroad and the fact he's not into commiting, but neither am i.

To make very long story short, i tried to kill myself and ended up hospitalized. It happened two years ago in december.

Now he contacted me two years later right when the saturn is in my sign and he says he needs to see me and as soon as he finishes his job he'll come to my town. That will be in about ten days.

I'm afraid of meeting him and how this Saturn will affect my mental health. I'm not afraid of loosing him again, i'm afraid of loosing myself, of nothing being able to control my feelings, reactions and being suicidal.

I'm afraid to hurt myself. Coz i just can not live without that person. My whole life after meeting him was a living hell. I know he is my other part, even though astrologers say opposite. I don't get it. Our composite talks about true love. And yeah, i love emotionally unable people, i hate regular relationships etc.

So what i'm actually asking here is should i meet him and if i do that will this cause me trouble? Can you see that somehow by transits or something, i'm really desperate here. And is Saturn really connected with this?

MY CHART:

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HIS CHART:

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COMPOSITE: