posted October 13, 2012 05:40 PM            

I'm in a terrible situation, Again. About a situation with this Capricorn guy. when we started off, i was 17, he was 19. He was my first crush, love, obsession, whatever you want to name it. I was literally obsessed with this guy. He lives far off & he was just visiting here & stayed at my place a few days. (his mom is my mom's bestie).We used to talk on phone & just you know how it is back in teenage days. After he went back & got busy with his life, we couldn't keep it going & like after 2-3 months we fell out.I was very upset & hooked on him for about a year & then someone else came along & I moved on. No contact after that.

Now , some transits brought him back in 2012 & he stayed at my place, AGAIN, for two weeks. during these two weeks, we went from ignoring each other to avoiding each other to indirectly talking to each other to directly politely talking to each other & by the time we got ok with each other's presence, he had to go back & he did.

I was having the most intense feeling of my life that somehow we will end up talking. I have never felt anything like this in my life. For three weeks, I was expecting him to contact me, how, when, where, that bit I don't even know. All i knew is that we were meant to have a talk. Then on night of 23rd September, 13 days after he left, I sent him a message on his facebook & told him I was upset & I wanted a closure with him. Anyway, there were complains & truths & compliments & everything. At end of 7hours of continuous chat,he admitted that he was at the losing end, because I was really nice girl & he will never find same set of qualities in anyone else.

Now, we message each other everyday. He is a strong Capricorn stellium (Sun,Mercury, Venus in Capricorn & Mars in Scorpio) so he is very very closed off guy, but with me, he is opening up like I have never seen him even with his family members.This man shares things with me like he wants to share things with me. I have read a lot & lot about SUN/Venus/Mercury Capricorns & from them what I gather is that these people do not open up very easily & he has always been just like that. Only now, all of sudden, he is like an open book. he wants to share things with me, his day routine, his goals, his passions, his feelings. But on the other hand, I feel like I'm just obsessing with him. I am hooked on him. He is kind of hooked on me too, he checks his facebook several times a day, he himself told me, & no matter what time he gets home (after work) he messages me, sharing his day & his problems & his hopes for next day, even though he knows I will be asleep.

I'm so madly deeply frustrated & actually scared of my own feelings. I do not want to end up the same way like last time. When we started talking I was sure I wanted to be friends only. I don't want to scare him away, I do not want to lose him, I do not want to wonder where he will be & what would be happening in his life.That is why its scaring me now. Because I'm a true Aries, if I recognise my feelings for him I won't stop myself from admitting them to him & he is a goat, he will prefer staying away from me than hurting me. That is what he said during a discussion "I'm not the kind of guy you want to be with when I have other goals in my mind, because I will always end up hurting other person's feelings. But when I'm trying to make it work then I'm different. Right now its my no women time. I have career goals to achieve". I gather that but now I don't know what to do. Should I keep messaging him regardless he replies or not (he sometimes doesn't when he is busy) but I religiously send him at least 2 messages everyday, because I am obsessed with him. I dream about him every night. He's the first & last thing on my mind. He is the only thing on my mind these days & I'm playing with fire. I don't want to lose him, I'm just at the same point where I was in 2006.

What should I do now? I do not like being so out of control. I feel disgusting for throwing myself at him like this, but it seems like its out of my hands. He is the star that is holding me in place. He makes me extremely happy by sending one message, & he ruins my day by not writing to me all day long. I'm heading towards trouble I know, but why is this happening & what should I do I have no idea, this is crazy.

I cannot post synastry because I don't know his time of birth. All I know is that he, all of sudden, is the most important thing in my life & this is not healthy. What should I do now?

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If I have done a reading for you, or you have a generous heart, please make a prayer for me that I meet love of my life soon. I believe in power of prayers. Thank you