posted October 18, 2012 05:26 AM            

I am wondering if someone can help me here. I have been into astrology, numerology, etc. since I was 13 (I am now 31) because I needed to know WHY I was the way I was and because I really needed to believe I had a purpose for being here on planet Earth... which, of course, we all do.

Though learning about all of these things really gave me balance, hope and a connection to the Universe whilst growing up in a sometimes violent and dysfunctional family, I still don't know what the heck I am supposed to do with my life/career/purpose. So, its been more than a 15 year obsession about my "future" and it makes my present really unbearable at times. I know that being so goal oriented is not healthy and that I need to become more process oriented... but it's really hard for me. My sun, moon, mars, and venus is in Aries. Scorpio rising. I have very little earth elements.

I've been to a psychic/medium. No help there. She was great but she mentioned I would be nurse(no thank you, plus I studied fine art in college). My astro career readings were too general and told me stuff I already knew. I don't want a conventional life (get married, buy a house with 3 bedrooms 2.5 bathrooms, have children). I want to jet set! meet people! taste new foods! adventure! purchase bespoke shoes! become wealthy enough to adopt children and save animals and do whatever I want! Am I a silly dreamer... still... at 31?

Gosh, this is already too long and I know this deters people from reading! I am so sorry! I just... don't know where else to go for advice Or if I should even to ask for a reading regarding my life. What do you think? Advice?

Btw, If you think I am crazy by just reading this, I'd agree. Ha.

posted October 18, 2012 02:14 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Michimelt:
Hi,

I am wondering if someone can help me here. I have been into astrology, numerology, etc. since I was 13 (I am now 31) because I needed to know WHY I was the way I was and because I really needed to believe I had a purpose for being here on planet Earth... which, of course, we all do.

Though learning about all of these things really gave me balance, hope and a connection to the Universe whilst growing up in a sometimes violent and dysfunctional family, I still don't know what the heck I am supposed to do with my life/career/purpose. So, its been more than a 15 year obsession about my "future" and it makes my present really unbearable at times. I know that being so goal oriented is not healthy and that I need to become more process oriented... but it's really hard for me. My sun, moon, mars, and venus is in Aries. Scorpio rising. I have very little earth elements.

I've been to a psychic/medium. No help there. She was great but she mentioned I would be nurse(no thank you, plus I studied fine art in college). My astro career readings were too general and told me stuff I already knew. I don't want a conventional life (get married, buy a house with 3 bedrooms 2.5 bathrooms, have children). I want to jet set! meet people! taste new foods! adventure! purchase bespoke shoes! become wealthy enough to adopt children and save animals and do whatever I want! Am I a silly dreamer... still... at 31?

Gosh, this is already too long and I know this deters people from reading! I am so sorry! I just... don't know where else to go for advice Or if I should even to ask for a reading regarding my life. What do you think? Advice?

Btw, If you think I am crazy by just reading this, I'd agree. Ha.

:P

---

Hi Michi:

Well, would it be fair to say you haven't really figured out what you want to do, because every time you settle to something, you worry it isn't good enough or that there's another path out there that's better? I just know dozens of Aries (I'm a Leo Sun/Sag Moon/Leo Ris/Leo Merc myself) and that seems to be a common theme.

I did a fast 5 card spread for you. Don't know if it'll help, but hey, why not, right?

1. Why hasn't Michi made a move yet: Knight of Pentacles (r)
2. What can Michi do to change that: 9 of Pentacles
3. What should Michi focus on career wise: the Moon (r)
4. To be successful in her career?: the High Priestess
5. In her life?: Knight of Wands

To me this says, you haven't really jumped at something, because no one has offered you something. It sort of feels like you are waiting from "manna from Heaven" so to speak. The perfect job to fall at your feet, handed to you. (Which isn't to say you are lazy, but that you feel if it happens by divine providence, there's no room to question that YES, that's what you should be doing...)

The 9 of Pentacles says stop worrying about the future (easier said than done, I know) and focus on the now. What you have. What makes you feel good at the moment, not what might benefit you in 10 years. There's no doubt that's there is a sense of regality about you, however, you can't enjoy that unless you... enjoy it. You don't have to have everything sorted out. You're only 31. God knows I'm only 26, but I've set my "have your sh*t together" date for 40... because I'm impetuous and want to have fun. This to me says: HAVE FUN. Quit being so responsible I blame your Scorpio, and no doubt whatever is in your Mars placement.

What you should focus on career wise didn't actually come through; instead it's the Moon reversed, which means to me that there's a lot of fear and deception blocking you. You've got to release that if you ever want to be successful -- don't be scared to make a mistake. In order to actually ever go somewhere and figure out your purpose in career (which will eventually lead you to your life purpose) is the High Priestess. Trust the Universe. Trust your intuition. She is the counterpart to the pope. She puts her emotions aside and listens to what she feels and knows to be true, instead of what she hopes and wishes for. She lives in between the black and the white. She gives herself the benefit of the doubt and trusts herself. Which leads to what you can do to be successful at life...

Knight of Wands! If you ever received a big ol' YES GO JETSET. YES GO HAVE FUN, it's this. Stop worrying! The Knight of Wands is a let's have fun, let's just do this kind of guy. He doesn't care about the consequences, and he certainly doesn't think twice. He embraces everything he comes across and lives in the moment. He never plans. Ever. That's for other, less awesome folks.

Have fun. Stop worrying. Just do. You're an Aries. Numero Uno. Leader of the Pack. You're life's purpose is to explore and report back to the rest of us zodiac kids. You can do it. I have no doubt

posted October 18, 2012 05:09 PM            

I thank your beautiful soul so much for taking the time! That was a great reading.

It left me a lot to think about but it also made me realize some things... like how I do want something to fall from the sky to my feet so I know for sure it is what I am supposed to do. I might waste my life if I did that. I am worrying so much about that that I can't enjoy my "now" and I might even miss the train when it gets here.

It's funny you say its a common theme around Aries. LOL.

I have a deep seated fear of becoming like my parents... or complacent like them. Maybe I should let that go and trust in the Universe?

posted October 18, 2012 05:45 PM            

I thank your beautiful leonine soul for taking the time!

I am going to print this out and meditate on it.

posted October 18, 2012 06:17 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Michimelt:
Hi becca,

I thank your beautiful soul so much for taking the time! That was a great reading.

It left me a lot to think about but it also made me realize some things... like how I do want something to fall from the sky to my feet so I know for sure it is what I am supposed to do. I might waste my life if I did that. I am worrying so much about that that I can't enjoy my "now" and I might even miss the train when it gets here.

It's funny you say its a common theme around Aries. LOL.

I have a deep seated fear of becoming like my parents... or complacent like them. Maybe I should let that go and trust in the Universe?

HAHA, Maybe I just need to take your advice and just travel whenever possible.

---

I think you should! You've been given a rare comic responsibility, I think. With all that Aries energy and all that Aries power comes with a spiritual expectation to use it. You are totally stacked to do whatever you want, but you have to wield it responsibly... and I think you are aware of that, and I think that's where the hang up is.

That, and totally not wanting to become your parents. Well, I think we all sort of do in one way or the other. Fight as I may, I have my estranged father's sense of humor and impetuousness. I have my mother's fear of financial ruin, but also her unshakeable faith in "swim out to your boat, don't wait for it to swim to you." And I will say that neither of them are exactly who I want to become. But I have in those regards, and I actually really like me. I'm kind of neat.

You only get one shot. Have fun. Pull out a globe, spin it, and go to the country you put your finger on. Pull up Monster.com, click to page... 22 for jobs in your area/field (humanities, I think you said -- dude, I'm a Creative Writing MFA right now, haha) and apply for the first one on that page that even gets your heart a'dancin.

I think the universe is really saying you have the responsibility and level-headedness built into your fibers to not fail, so go be the Knight. The Knight falls under the rule of the Priestess in many ways (she's a major arcana card, and he's a lower court card.) He will always "be under her" in regards to tutelage. Meditate your heart away -- that's what she wants you to do

posted October 19, 2012 05:29 AM            

If I do get accepted into one, I will have to have another crazy, whacked out year because I will have to quit my government job (this is not necessarily a bad thing). But it does provide me with a steady income and health care. *sigh* Then again, it might open up possibilities that I can't even imagine.

You're right, I gotta get out there and do things. I'll trust. Don't think and just do. LOL. (thats so hard!)

I am so glad you are appreciative of your parents and so accepting of yourself. That is really a gift. A Leo+sag gift maybe? I think I need some of that self-acceptance.