Posts: 329
From: canada
Registered: Feb 2012

posted November 12, 2012 12:12 AM            

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Hello everyone! My question is has R really changed? He is my abusive uncle. I confronted him on facebook & told him that I knew all about him abusing my aunt & little cousin. He told me not to worry that he is a changed man, he won't do it again etc, etc. He acts nice towards me & other family members. I want to know if he was just lying when he said he promises to change. My aunt has given him too many chances.

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Posts: 31
From:
Registered: Nov 2012

posted November 12, 2012 03:51 AM            

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NO. He has not. Once an abuser always an abuser.

The fact that a person has done something that horrible in the past means that they have that thing INSIDE of them. "change" for a person like that only means suppressing the urge. It does not mean that the urge no longer exists in them.

I don't know what kind of abuse this man commited, but that was ACTION. His promise is nothing but empty words. You cannot base your decision on that. Never place someone's words over someone's actions.

You do not need a Tarot reading for this. If you want to forgive him that's fine and that's your choice... but do not make the mistake that many victims make. That is do not allow this person to have contact with any young members of your family just because you believe his words.

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Posts: 329
From: canada
Registered: Feb 2012

posted November 12, 2012 05:59 PM            

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Thank you Mandy pie. It is confusing I have never dealt with abusive people before, so I don't know what to do/think. This guy is supposed to be my uncle but I don't know him very well. I have just met him recently since we live in different countries. He has been emotionally & sometimes physically abusive towards my aunt, he makes her feel worthless, makes suicide threats when she tries to leave. I want to help her because her self confidence is very low and I don't like how my little cousin is exposed to this kind of environment. I don't want him to grow up like his dad & think that abuse is normal. For now, I will just research on google and find out more about people like him.

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Posts: 668
From:
Registered: Aug 2012

posted November 12, 2012 06:11 PM            

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Hi MillyX

I pulled the Four of Wands for your question. A symbol of completion through effort. It appears that he really is trying to make the changes needed in order to be better.
I pulled one more card for clarification and I got the 8 of Swords...really obvious sign of being stuck in his ways. He is the way he is and he does not even see that he can change. He feels embarrassed about his behavior so he is stuck in his ways.

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Posts: 329
From: canada
Registered: Feb 2012

posted November 15, 2012 10:05 PM            

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Thank you asclibrasagsun. We shall see if he has really changed. I can't tell right now because I can't see him in person. I will probably in a few years. I don't completely trust him, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. My gut feeling is telling me no but I don't know if my intuition is right or wrong. I'll just leave it for now

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