posted November 29, 2012 04:59 PM            

I want to ask is staying in Hawaii the right decision?

posted November 30, 2012 11:04 PM            

It probably seems like a trivial question, but I don't think I've ever had such a hard time making a decision in my life lol. Every time I think my mind is made up 100% something comes up that makes me re consider.

I talked to the guy back home that I like, who I thought had been loosing interest in me because of various things he's said/done... We haven't been communicating much lately but I basically just said hey if I thought you actually wanted me to be there that would be a factor in my decision but you don't give me much feedback so I don't really know what to think..

He said you should come home, but it's your call, hopefully you make the right one

Until he said that I was really questioning whether he even wanted to give it a shot. But I know that if I stay here longer it could very well mean losing out on that chance for good considering we've both been seeing other people (nothing official but still, things do tend to progress with time). I can't keep playing this guessing game with him, and maybe it won't work out but I do know that if I never tried and he ends up moving on to someone else I would deeply regret that. When it comes down to it he definitely means more to me than the benefits of having fun here...

Staying here would also mean changing my plans with school which on the one hand would make things a lot less stressful, but part of me feels like I need to stick it out and finish what I started even if it takes longer or is more difficult..

I also made a horary chart for when I decided I wanted to stay..

If I'm understanding horary correctly, I should be looking at the chart ruler (Saturn) which is tightly conjunct the MC. A big factor in this is school/career goals, and that just looks like restrictions and difficulties.. Anyway sorry for rambling, any feedback would be helpful.