Posts: 41
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Registered: Aug 2012

posted December 20, 2012 06:18 PM            

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Me and this guy have been together for almost two years... it feels like a rollercoaster! When he's happy, the relationship is great, but when he's upset, he is the harshest, meanest person I have ever met. He does stuff to be nice, but then expects me to return the favor right away. He doesn't tell me what he wants, though he insists he does, and complains about it. He calls everything "worthless" when he doesnt like it. Even though he is 15 years older than me, I feel like the mature one in the relationship.

I broke up with him because he yelled at me and called me names in front of our roommates. I promptly moved out and life has been better, but I still love him. And because I still love him, it's easy for him to guilt me into giving him a second chance. He says he is going to change (be nicer/more considerate)... but will he? Is this a healthy relationship, based on the charts? Communication is obviously an issue, so I don't know what his problems with me are or why he doesn't understand me.

He's mean to my friends and none of my friends are a big fan of him. I want somebody who can be nice... but he is offended by weird things and when he is offended, he just goes off!

Synastry:

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posted December 20, 2012 06:19 PM            

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Composite

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Posts: 306
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posted December 20, 2012 06:45 PM            

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i can see from the synastry chart that things wouldn't be rosy in this relationship. although your sun/venus are nicely aspected to his venus/mars, you have some serious relationship issues in the chart. the primry one i see is his leo moon opposite your aqua saturn. saturn is the responsible, hardworking planet so it's no surprise that you feel the more mature than he. the moon is very emotional, so with the moon opposite saturn there would, i imagine, be a lot of emotional conflicts, where you (as well as he) just do not understand one another or know how to satisfy each other through simple things, like gifts and comfort. your saturns appear to be opposite one another as well, so you're working at cross-purposes in the relationship and the way you handle serious matters like money, jobs, commitment, etc. may not be compatible. his leo moon might also be responsible for some of the immaturity and name-calling. men with leo moon are very attention-seeking and quite literally want the world to revolve around them. if you don't do that for them they can become very childish and act out. you also have a not-at-all-nice pluto opposite mars (his pluto, your mars). pluto and mars are both very fiery planets and this aspect often leads to battles of all sorts between two people; it can mainfest with passion, abuse, obsessivness, power struggles and emotional mainpulation. it's often been linked with physical abuse. i know it's easier said than done, but i wouldn't further involve myself with this person.

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posted December 20, 2012 06:56 PM            

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So to sum it up :
-When he's upset, he is the harshest, meanest person I have ever met.
-Expects me to return the favor right away.
-Complains
-I feel like the mature one in the relationship.
-I broke up with him because he yelled at me and called me names in front of our roommates. 
-He's mean to my friends and none of my friends are a big fan of him. I want somebody who can be nice... but he is offended by weird things and when he is offended, he just goes off! 

People hardly ever change, that's his character, don't take him back ok? He might be on his best behaviour for two- three weeks, then it's back o the same old.

Do you really think that's all you deserve? You are worth way more and should be treated with RESPECT, something he clearly doesn't have for you.

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posted December 20, 2012 07:02 PM            

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I noticed he has mars opposition uranus, that's what's causing the explosive unpredictable side. I had an ex that had the square, he was very temperamental and used to verbally and emotionally abuse me.
The mars squaring moon by sign doesn't help either, hard moon mars aspects indicate a hot tempered person who is likely to freak out over everything.

So I speak from experience, people telling you they'd change usually ends up with disappointment and more pain.

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posted December 20, 2012 07:41 PM            

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Thank you guys! and I DON'T deserve this!

I have told him the way he talks to me is not respectful (jokingly telling me how many women hit on him, gets jealous if I joke. Yelling at me when he's "hangry." Asking me to do something, and if anything is less than perfect, I get to hear about it for days). But he insists that he respects me, he wants to marry me, and is madly in love with me. It's kind of hard to shake him. How do I do it? D: It's my first real relationship.

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posted December 21, 2012 01:06 AM            

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Wow his natal moon conjunct his natal saturn sounds emotionally cold and harsh. Just a feeling I get..plus his moon lands in your 12th house.

In composite Sun conjunct Chiron and Venus conjunct Saturn again..cold and hurtful

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posted December 21, 2012 11:15 AM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by brightwhites:
Thank you guys! and I DON'T deserve this!

I have told him the way he talks to me is not respectful (jokingly telling me how many women hit on him, gets jealous if I joke. Yelling at me when he's "hangry." Asking me to do something, and if anything is less than perfect, I get to hear about it for days). But he insists that he respects me, he wants to marry me, and is madly in love with me. It's kind of hard to shake him. How do I do it? D: It's my first real relationship.

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there are a lot of different ways to start distancing yourself from someone; you have to do what feels most comfy to you and what leaves you with the most self-respect. some people lie and say they have found someone else, are dating someone else etc. some people gradually start to decline dates and spend more time alone - which is a good option, because it shows you can be without the person. you can tell him you think the age difference has become too much and you're looking for something else right now. whatever you choose make it final - stringing someone along hurts them and you also, because it doesn't allow you to cut those emotional ties. just think about your family, and your future and how you'll regret staying in the situation if you're being disrepected. it rarely gets better. no one should have such power of you that you take any form of abuse :-)

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posted December 21, 2012 01:00 PM            

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They broke up, she doesn't owe him anything, so she doesn't need to explain, he knows what's up. I suggest blocking him on everything.

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