posted March 10, 2013 04:45 PM            

I had a 10 year relationship with a Sag, and I am still friends with him. That was all that really ever was for both of us, chemistry lasted about six months and the kPUT. It was a important relationship of healing and forgiveness, so it is all good. Long term abusive relationship as a teenager into early twenties. Then, a few brief serial monogamy type bursts. Broken hearted in late twenties by a Taurus. (The two guys I have felt really intense and connected romantic love, they both left me...a Taurus where distance and old connection to ex was an issue, and then my Scorpio who I was really happy with until he bolted).

I am starting to think I am cursed. I have done a lot of work around co-dependency and I have been working to try and learn to love without attachment. Listen to a lot of Buddhist speakers and try to meditate and practice mindfulness.

I can give a lot of freedom in a relationship, I have my own friends and interests. And, I give a lot of love and devotion and support to a partner and I love physical connection. I am just really discouraged at this point. I am not seeking out a relationship right now, btw. I am tired and I want to keep working on my own self empowerment. I guess I am feeling a bit dejected. I am going to share my chart below, if anyone has any insight into what may be influencing these patterns.

I noticed my Mars is Square my Moon (Maris in Aquarius in 4th house and Moon in Taurus in Seventh House), so I suspect that may be wreaking some Havoc.

posted March 10, 2013 05:14 PM            

Venus my DC ruler.

posted March 10, 2013 05:29 PM            

From Cafeastrology:

Pluto transits to Venus stimulate your desires to share pleasures with significant others and with friends in perhaps unusual or especially sensitive ways. They urge you to find new meaning in your life through leisure activities and/or romance. These transits also affect your urge to acquire new material goods and your finances in general.

What does Venus rule in your chart? Look to the houses of your natal chart with Taurus and Libra on the cusp for areas of your life where Pluto is stimulating. Look to planets in Taurus and Libra in your chart to see other parts of your personality that Pluto is now infusing with intensity.

Pluto transits square or opposition Venus

This major transit challenges you to find meaning in your life through romantic connections and partnerships. You now must uncover a new layer or level to your life -- one that goes more deeply than you have heretofore experienced. Sometimes this transit is associated with divorce or separation, and sometimes new relationships begin. Other times, the attitude towards partnership undergoes a major transformation. You may become quite obsessed with your commitments and partner during this time, or you may experience Pluto through your partner. Especially males with this transit may encounter Pluto themes through a female. Manipulative and controlling behaviors may be displayed or experienced through partners. You must be especially wary of resisting change and holding onto negative attachments. This transit may be a signal that it is time to let go of destructive attachments and connections, and resisting this process is likely to do more harm than good. Relationships begun at this time may be very complicated and ultimately challenging, so be careful to think before making drastic changes in your relationships at this time. There may be some problems with money during this transit. Poor spending decisions made to date may come to a head and you may need to face up to their reality. By the end of the transit, you should have a renewed sense of worth, although getting to that point may not be entirely pleasant.

~Your desire for love and its physical expression is strong, but you may not find it easy to express this need. A more compulsive or obsessive quality marks your relationships and, instead of looking for someone whose values are similar to or compatible with your own, you may attract someone whose values clash with yours. There is the possibility of attracting a member of the underworld set, someone who is already attached or someone who is looking only for sex, rather than a person capable of making both the sacrifices and the commitment you deem necessary. Keep your standards high now, so you can come upon a love which fulfills alt your needs. If you aren't already in love, you may be tempted to start a relationship with anyone just so you won't be alone. Avoid this; aim for an attachment based on love, trust, and a genuine relationship which will deepen, not disintegrate, with time.

Uranus transits to Venus stimulate your desires to share pleasures with significant others and with friends in perhaps unusual or especially sensitive ways. They urge you to find new meaning in your life through leisure activities and/or romance. These transits also affect your urge to acquire new material goods as well as your finances in general.

What does Venus rule in your chart? Look to the houses of your natal chart with Taurus and Libra on the cusp for areas of your life where Uranus is acting to awaken. Look to planets in Taurus and Libra in your chart to see other parts of your personality that Uranus is now infusing with the urge to break out of existing routines.

Uranus transits square Venus

*Upsets and change in your love relationships is the key issue now. A shift in your romantic and sexual energies at this time causes changes in love relationships.

+Your value system may receive a challenge from a new independent streak that wants to break away and try new things. You may not appreciate the urge to upset and change things that is trying to assert itself. This leads to tension.

posted March 10, 2013 05:36 PM            

Next year, Pluto will make a direct hit opposite your Venus.

posted March 10, 2013 05:38 PM            

I just noticed my North Node is in Aquarius as well. Wouldn't that Square my Moon in Taurus, Rising and Jupiter in Scorpio....

Can't imagine that would be super positive for relationship stability.

Oh dear.

It is true my relationships have been non-traditional with sudden breaks from guys who appear really into me. I have lots of friendships, people like me overall it seems. And, my friendships are meaningful, not superficial and mutually supportive. Just not the romantic component. Hmmm.

posted March 10, 2013 09:51 PM            

Always have attracted a lot of Sag men. I have an easy rapport with Taurus men, but they are a bit dry on the emotional end, Scorpio men fascinate me and I can hold my own with them, but that punishment thing is just brutal!

posted March 11, 2013 12:50 AM            

New here, didn't know this was where to post this type of thing.

And, yes, my last break up was recent. Two weeks ago. Sadness has lifted quite rapidly...still traces of course...but I can't believe I feel this much better after only two weeks given the intensity of the relationship and knowing each other for nearly three years (together romantically a little over one).

I realize how much HIS energy was dragging on me. That is the funny thing. He was so worried about commitment and responsibility in the relationship, I was picking up so much of his tension and moods, I even started to get headaches, and I never get headaches (he gets them all the time). He was projecting all his stress (insane work schedule with international and national travel, bronchitis, family illness, and unresolved past issues) onto me and the relationship and he felt so overwhelmed he needed to lift something off his plate. He choose to break up with me. His sole support system and closest friend. Brilliant strategy on his part.

Now, I feel much clearer and I can what I was bringing to the relationship and I am relieved and pleasantly surprised to see I was really holding my own in a lot of ways. Not perfect mind you, I sensed his imminent break and reverted to a bit of clinging, but it was super mild.

In a lot of ways this relationship was a test. I held healthy boundaries, stood up for myself, refused to break my word on what I needed. And, I held out even when that meant I lost him. And, him a Scorpio.

Everything is clearing. I see him trying to come back, not in wishing it, but I am disentangling and observing. Not caught up in it. It's a trip. It would be a triumph for him if he found the courage to be that vulnerable, I don't foresee that but I do suspect I will see a tentative reappearance with feelers in less then two months. I will update the board on what happens.

I am enormously intuitive when I can get out of the noise of my thoughts and emotions and allow it to just be. There is no way I would take him back at this point unless he really broke free of himself and his old patterns, and moved forward with a courage he has never shown in relationships. I doubt it, but he is a Scorpio and he can regenerate anytime he wishes. My boundaries are clearer then ever.

When he left, he was displaying the absolute worst qualities of himself and his sign. Manipulative, deceptive, sarcastic, and invalidating. I saw right through it which drove him up the wall. His weak self deception won't hold, though. I got into deep, and he had no where left to run but out of the relationship. Oh well.

Anyway, I use blogs and journals on-line to write out my feelings and come to resolution with situations. I am just new to this one. I realize my posts can go on a bit, it is just me writing it out and weeding out the experience. Helps me process much faster and gives me an outlet to vent emotion.