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Author Topic:   is it unethical to ask tarot about people who didn't ask to be read for?
andstuff
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posted March 26, 2013 10:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ok, I am nowhere near reading cards for a living, but from a purely existential point of view - is it decidedly unethical to ask questions about people who didn't ask to be read for?

Discuss, perhaps?


For example, I have been part of what looks like a love triangle from the outside but readings keep showing I am the only one who is loved, they even keep showing it when I don't ask. Should I really have been sitting and feeling humiliated and miserable as opposed to finding out for sure (well facts were there as well to prove it, but nonetheless)?

I am not sure I would do this for others, let alone in exchange for money if I ever ended up in a position to do this, but well it's normal to be concerned about certain people and check what's going on in their heads. It's not like I'd use anything I found out against them, rather on the contrary.

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted March 26, 2013 12:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Nooo.. i wouldn't say so.

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Jessica2407
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posted March 26, 2013 01:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jessica2407     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't find it unethical. I don't see how you would have crossed the ethic line.

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1believer
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posted March 26, 2013 03:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 1believer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That is what some readers have said, some do read for others. IMO its not, I mean if it is affecting you in some way then I don't see why it should be considered unethical.

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lotus_flower
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posted March 26, 2013 03:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lotus_flower     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Biddy Tarot has a good article about this:
http://www.biddytarot.com/what-not-to-ask-the-tarot/

For example:

Eleven Questions NOT to Ask the Tarot

Here are eleven questions NOT to ask the Tarot.

1. Will my lover leave his wife? Or any other question about another person’s life that is not directly related to you. This brings up issues around privacy and accuracy. Privacy because you are delving into someone else’s private life using the Tarot cards without their permission. And accuracy because you will still be seeing the situation from your/the client’s perspective and not necessarily the situation at hand.

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andstuff
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posted March 26, 2013 04:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by lotus_flower:

Biddy Tarot has a good article about this:
http://www.biddytarot.com/what-not-to-ask-the-tarot/

For example:

Eleven Questions NOT to Ask the Tarot

Here are eleven questions NOT to ask the Tarot.

1. Will my lover leave his wife? Or any other question about another person’s life that is not directly related to you. This brings up issues around privacy and accuracy. Privacy because you are delving into someone else’s private life using the Tarot cards without their permission. And accuracy because you will still be seeing the situation from your/the client’s perspective and not necessarily the situation at hand.


Yes, I have read this article

Which is exactly my point. I wouldn't do this sort of thing in exchange for money or wouldn't do them for others. There's something seedy about making a profit from what is, well, a breach of privacy, as stated. And it's funny sometimes how far human curiosity can go. One thing is to offer help and, well, some other questions do border on purposeless gossip.

And I suppose these questions are better asked if Lenormand is used anyway

But I do allow the possibility of circumstances when breach of privacy is forgivable. As long as the information obtained not used against anyone.

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Twirl
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posted March 26, 2013 04:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Twirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi

I agree with Lotus.

A good way to get around it if you still want to ask the question because you feel the situation affects you is: "What is important for me/the querent to know about this situation with person X" That is ethical and you will get the information you need to receive.
When no permission is given the cards tend not to give you the answers anyway. The "High priestess" showing up when 'non ethics' are involved, is quite often the cards addressing you directly. They are then saying: "Hello dear reader, this information is 'locked' for you". Or so I noticed.

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happyaskings
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posted March 26, 2013 04:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for happyaskings     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ehhh...this is kinda a grey area. It depends, if the question about the third party is in some way related to the reader (ex. Will my husband lose his job? or Does X like me?) then I would say NO. Also, if the question comes out of compassion (ex. Is my best friend going to be okay since her dog just died? or Will my ex find someone that makes him happy..I feel terrible for breaking his heart?) I would also say NO.

If you are just being nose-y or you are trying to use the info about the other person to benefit yourself in a negative way then I would say YES it is unethical. I can also say that for some reason tarot cards pick up on this and the querent does usually end up getting their *** bit for doing such things. At least from my observations.

So in my opinion it depends on the question and the intentions of the one asking them.

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andstuff
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posted March 26, 2013 04:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ok, so can "will my lover leave his wife?" be an ethical question to ask?

I have to admit it's a pretty stupid one. If he is unhappy and still not leaving her, he's most probably an idiot. Or what if she got him to drink too much or worse? Or what if he didn't notice she only uses him to get things she wants?

perhaps the good question would be "What needs does he satisfy with me?" and take it from there. I don't know.

The thing is, compassion is the only reason that's been making me ask these ethically spurious questions

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Twirl
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posted March 26, 2013 05:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Twirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Lol. I think the actual question should be: how ethically correct is it to have an affair with a married man ;-)

Not judging by the way.

On a different (non joking) level: you can ask te cards if you two will be together in a committed relationship. So just rephrasing your question can also help.

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happyaskings
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posted March 26, 2013 05:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for happyaskings     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by andstuff:
ok, so can "will my lover leave his wife?" be an ethical question to ask?

I have to admit it's a pretty stupid one. If he is unhappy and still not leaving her, he's most probably an idiot. Or what if she got him to drink too much or worse? Or what if he didn't notice she only uses him to get things she wants?

perhaps the good question would be "What needs does he satisfy with me?" and take it from there. I don't know.

The thing is, compassion is the only reason that's been making me ask these ethically spurious questions


It's a tough call, andstuff. My issue with the question actually has nothing to do with the question itself, but with the effect it can have on the querent. In a way it is a "toxic" question, you will find that when someone asks this question no answer will do. Even if they get all "good" cards, when they don't see a change they will continuously go back to the deck asking the same question over and over. If they get "bad" cards (a NO answer) they are devastated and still will end up asking the deck over and over. This is unhealthy and puts the questioners life on hold in a way and can sometimes even stop them from learning the lessons they are supposed to be learning from their situation.

If they do not feel they can let this lover go currently a better way to utilize the cards would be to ask something along the lines of "what is the best way to deal with my current love situation" or "what is to be learned from all of this" or "is my lover being honest with me about following through with leaving his wife" better yet "what need to be done in order for me to receive the love I deserve" (Note: I said LOVE not PERSON...the person they questioner have in mine is not always the best person for them).

I hope this made sense. I know how hard situations like this can be . The cards are there to help you, if the question is killing you, ask it. I tend to be pretty blunt in phrasing my questions and my cards are equally blunt with me LOL. Try to keep YOUR best interest in mind when asking the questions.

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andstuff
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posted March 27, 2013 01:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by happyaskings:
If they do not feel they can let this lover go currently a better way to utilize the cards would be to ask something along the lines of "what is the best way to deal with my current love situation" or "what is to be learned from all of this" or "is my lover being honest with me about following through with leaving his wife" better yet "what need to be done in order for me to receive the love I deserve" (Note: I said LOVE not PERSON...the person they questioner have in mine is not always the best person for them).

I hope this made sense. I know how hard situations like this can be . The cards are there to help you, if the question is killing you, ask it. I tend to be pretty blunt in phrasing my questions and my cards are equally blunt with me LOL. Try to keep YOUR best interest in mind when asking the questions.


My cards have told me some king of f**king pents is my best option whereas I hate earth energy and pragmatism how does this correlate with my best interests?

People are not able to love just whoever. And more often than not only rubbish is available, which is barely a reason to snap it up.

As for lessons..... I hate the word and the notion. Because it implies I am some idiot not good enough the way I am, not great for self-esteem. Let others learn lessons, I'd rather learn.... Dutch or German or to cook Indian food

I have read other people's messages and journals. And I'm not ashamed of it. At some point it saved me from horrible things. Such as a female friend developed an unhealthy dependency on my company, kept writing about observing me and my emotional responses. I distanced myself immediately. Because this was a breach of MY privacy and sacred boundaries, for example.

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Jessica2407
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posted March 27, 2013 01:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jessica2407     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
TBH, I still don't find anything unethical about it. If I want to have someone looked into, it would be because I don't want to get hurt/or fooled. I'm only protecting myself.I'm not going to ask a tarot reader about people just so to gossip about them.

And I don't believe that Tarot cards can put someone's life on hold.

That's my POV.

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happyaskings
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posted March 27, 2013 03:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for happyaskings     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think I'm having trouble communicating here. I wasn't calling anyone stupid...

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andstuff
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posted March 27, 2013 04:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by happyaskings:
I think I'm having trouble communicating here. I wasn't calling anyone stupid...

No I know you didn't

I just meant phrasing questions in a manner that they mention lessons.... I personally find this existentially pointless. I don't think I've done one single reading for myself asking what the lesson is and I wouldn't ask it for others unless they wanted me to

I personally think questions about lessons are toxic. And I think it would be unethical to tell anyone what their lessons are, as if I was superior to them or something - who am I to know?

Let's go back to this woman with a married lover for a while - do you think she would benefit from learning she was supposed to learn some capital-L Lesson from this connexion that gave her so much pain? Anyone who's ever been in pain will tell you lessons are so irrelevant.... How is this knowledge supposed to contribute towards lessening the pain? In no way at all. I would even go so far as to say that it's a pretty disgusting position - to take people's money and give them this lessons bollocks they wouldn't know what to do with.

The word "lessons" is extremely toxic for self-esteem and all this. It never helps dealing with the pain and never provides any decent solutions. I.e. no service was rendered by the reader who revealed to the querent what his/her "lessons" are

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happyaskings
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posted March 27, 2013 04:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for happyaskings     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You were asking about the best way to ask a question, what I was trying to say way to use the cards to your advantage by asking questions that suit your best interest ex. how to handle the situation your in. I didn't mean ask the cards who is best for you, I meant find a way to ask the question in order to have things work out best for you given your current circumstance...does that make sense?

I DO believe in karma and I do believe we have lessons to learn, but hey that's just this idiots opinion.

And I supposed it would have been better to say people get hung up on something rather than saying they put their life on hold for it.

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andstuff
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posted March 27, 2013 05:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for andstuff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by happyaskings:
You were asking about the best way to ask a question, what I was trying to say way to use the cards to your advantage by asking questions that suit your best interest ex. how to handle the situation your in. I didn't mean ask the cards who is best for you, I meant find a way to ask the question in order to have things work out best for you given your current circumstance...does that make sense?

I DO believe in karma and I do believe we have lessons to learn, but hey that's just this idiots opinion.

And I supposed it would have been better to say people get hung up on something rather than saying they put their life on hold for it.


Oh, I thought we were talking about someone else, not me

There's no wife by the way thank god, which is why I was confused. And well my story is much more complicated. She got him addicted to drugs just when he was nearly ok and recovering, and all he does is send me love letters. Mental? I guess. [Please don't quote this bit, I'll edit it out later] How can I benefit from this situation? A dirty salesgirl is rotting a rather beautiful person into the ground, indeed, how can I benefit from this? there's even no love on my part, just compassion and human sympathy.

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happyaskings
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posted March 27, 2013 05:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for happyaskings     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I get what your saying now andstuff!
So, no I can't think of any way that you would benefit from that situation LOL! You would be asking questions like how to help this person and/or where this person is coming from and what to do about the nasty little rat that is enabling all of this, right?
Even though they don't directly relate to you I don't personally think questions like these are unethical. They come from the right place.

To me an unethical question would be something like "How can I get A and B (a pretty happy couple) to break up?" or "Give me clues to this weeks lottery numbers" (Tempting, but unethical lol). Questions like "Will he leave her?" are NOT unethical in my opinion but they can backfire and hurt the questioner sometimes (especially if it isn't the answer they were hoping for). In your case, I don't think the questions are unethical and I don't think the results you get from a reading would backfire. In fact, I think pulling some cards might be helpful.

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