posted April 17, 2013 10:46 PM            

For all intents and purposes, it would appear I've found my twin soul (twin flame, however you want to label it) and we've got this big thing to do. Of all things, a TV drama series adapted from the story we wrote (which I helmed with several other collaborators) 8 years ago. The subject? Twin soul pairs from a soul group setting out to do all sorts of powerful things - if only they could get their acts together, or forgive each other - or even find everyone. Unsurprisingly, the theme quickly became the struggle they go through to clear the obstacles preventing them from achieving their goals, and, finding their way back to each other. A rather classic twin soul tale, at this point.

Trouble is, my own relationship with my partner has become so overrun with pain, misunderstandings, and the inability to communicate honestly - we haven't spoken in awhile. He was my best friend. For years. We were never out of contact.

This all feels so strange. I'm feeling abandoned, oddly alone, even if I began instituting the distance. I felt we weren't on the same wavelength anymore. Now, he's switched careers into an entirely new field. I feel like he's given up on himself entirely, settling for mediocrity, and whatever takes him further and further from me - and what we're here to do.

It hurts. I'm so angry, on top of having long periods of feeling entirely deflated and lost. Like maybe ... I'm wrong. Maybe it's all wrong, and I'm just a fool.

Perhaps someone can provide insight in whatever fashion they're able. I think I stopped answering his calls because he stopped being honest. Everything was unsaid. Things unspoken were just becoming suffocating. I was drowning in things I hadn't said on top of all his own.

I wish I knew what he was thinking, feeling, experiencing, but he just won't tell me. He did once, which was months ago. Since then, I feel damned near crazy from this torrent of emotions, typically from nowhere. I've heard this can happen with twins - but what do I know?

Either way, I'm in trouble here. The rage grows to where it's overpowering, and the sadness is stifling. I just hate doing this.

Should anyone want to do what they do - I'm tossing out an S.O.S.

So, thanks. In advance.