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Author
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Topic: Can somebody tell me if he used me or not.
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RunAroundScreaming
Moderator Posts: 6853
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted May 30, 2013 02:24 AM
  
Did he go out with me with the intention of using me? I don't want to know why he left or why he felt it would't work. I just want a simple yes or no answer to my question. Thank you very much. IP: Logged |
Twirl
Knowflake Posts: 694
From: Europe
Registered: Mar 2013
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posted May 30, 2013 02:30 AM
Looked in my cards for you. No, he didn't have that intention. I feel that it was genuine. Hope that helps you a bit. IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Moderator Posts: 6853
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted May 30, 2013 03:38 AM
Thank you very much.IP: Logged |
Twirl
Knowflake Posts: 694
From: Europe
Registered: Mar 2013
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posted May 30, 2013 03:42 AM
Do you want a little more feedback on what I saw or is this enough for you? I didn't write more because you specifically requested for just a yes or no. IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Moderator Posts: 6853
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted May 30, 2013 04:05 AM
Ok go ahead  and thank u btw againI feel that I already know...
My guess would be because he saw me as pushy and too critical of him. I never trusted him and he wanted me to trust him and was always upset by it. We had different values and different opinions...I broke up with him 3 times. We kept arguing. I mean yeah. It sucks that he didn't miss me after, but whatever. IP: Logged |
Twirl
Knowflake Posts: 694
From: Europe
Registered: Mar 2013
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posted May 30, 2013 05:11 AM
Hey Ras, that is actually not what I saw. I only pulled a few cards, but my impression of this man was, that he has an ideal image in his mind for what love is. I think he wants love to be 'on a different plane' all the time. Basically the spiritual love that is experienced in the higher realms. Problem with that is that we are on earth and human. Meaning that reality is actually a deal breaker for him, because we all leave (very earthy) 'dirty socks' in bedrooms etc. If you know what I mean by that. And it is impossible to only be on that high level all the time. So I.m.o. that is what has happened. This is something inside him and his ideals and perception. Doesn't have to do with how you are as a person so please try to see those things seperate from each other. No one can live up to that vision, because the 'dirty socks' will at some point enter a love relationship. All I wanted to say is to please understand that that is something that is part of him at this moment in time. It is not you or how you are or what you do/don't do.
Hope this may help you in healing from it Edit: I only looked at his intentions towards you btw. I didn't look any further into it. IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Moderator Posts: 6853
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted May 30, 2013 05:43 AM
That doesn't sound true at all  Idk...I guess it could be. I guess what ur saying is he didnt want to work through our problems bc he thinks love should be ideal.... But other than that while we were dating he wasnt like ultra romantic or anything. And he never complained about things not being perfect, i was the one who was always complaining about that lol. He did say "Well you certainly never trusted me..."
I guess he didnt realize that things can be worked out and talked thru...insecurity can be fixed. Me not trusting him can be fixed. I guess he thought if it was meant to be i wouldve trusted him fully. But that's not the way it works.
The tarot has told me some very true things that nobody else knows. Like the traits of my ideal guy (was extremely accurate) and it also correctly foretold everything that was going to happen with this guy before i actually dated him. So i trust that your interpretation must be correct.
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RunAroundScreaming
Moderator Posts: 6853
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted May 30, 2013 05:44 AM
Thank you very much. I truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. For explaining all of that and really taking the time. I think I might finally feel like I have closure. I was crying a lot...unable to go on. You've made me feel better.IP: Logged |
Twirl
Knowflake Posts: 694
From: Europe
Registered: Mar 2013
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posted May 30, 2013 06:24 AM
Hey RAS, If it doesn't resonate with you, you can of course discard it, but these are my impressions. I read my cards often in a way to look into the deeper layers of our subconcious. I also strongly believe that these deeper layers to are being (often still or partly unknown to us) will make how we act, think and feel in our lives. We all have certain ideas/ideals about how things should be and this imagery runs through our core. We picked it up somewhere/somehow (think of all the movies & books with happy endings we get 'fed' from a very young age) and took it as the truth. The thing is that this imagery often doesn't resonate with how life truly is.
I really hope I'm putting this accross right and that you understand what I mean by it.
So what I meant for him is that he most likely would run into similar things in relationships (getting dissapointed because it doesn't resonate with his images on the ideal on a deep level), but this is his path. I am only saying this, because I thought it might help you to not take all the blame. This also wouldn't mean at all that he would have to act romantic or to even share these ideas with you. I'm talking of an inward convinction.
Also I didn't read for the relationship dynamics to see what happened there (that would give you more mundane insights). Really hope I brought this across right to you.
Again, if you are not feeling my impressions, just discard them, but I hope you will remain feeling better and I'm very sorry to hear this break-up with him had such an impact.
Wish you good luck & all the best! Edit (final edit, lol, gotto go): this fits what I meant (those lines of thought) : quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
I guess he didnt realize that things can be worked out and talked thru...insecurity can be fixed. Me not trusting him can be fixed. I guess he thought if it was meant to be i wouldve trusted him fully. But that's not the way it works.
IP: Logged |
hobbit
Knowflake Posts: 38
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted May 30, 2013 08:33 AM
Interesting - I really like the way Twirl reads the cards. Ras - If he can't or won't overcome insecurity issues in the relationship and won't make a go of it - it's probably because he has an idealised conception of love - a certain way that it 'should' be. Maybe what you offer is not in line with his expectations, which he's unable to shift because the ideal vision of love is so ingrained in him he takes it for granted. In reality - no one should hold your trust issues against you - if both of you are flexible enough - anything is possible I believe. IP: Logged |
EmpressMendez
Knowflake Posts: 3382
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted May 30, 2013 09:36 AM
Hello Ras,I decided to do a Lenormand reading for you to see what shows up. I don't get the impression that he was trying to use you, but there is another female from his past that is an issue. I got the Heart right in the middle for you, which shows that he had genuine feelings for you, and he was willing to give it a try. However, it seems he has unresolved issues with that other female from his past, but he did/does care about you. The female from the past may be responsible of his current attitude when it comes to him expressing his emotions, and being more affectionate overall. I hope this helps.. IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Moderator Posts: 6853
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted May 30, 2013 11:19 AM
That makes sense. He said he was "chilling with an ex" and that's why he skipped out on missing me after the first two weeks of the breakup. Empress, your past readings were actually right. I wouldn't say it's not that he didn't miss me at all, he thought about me once in a while bc he was texting me good morning/all day every three days, but he said himself he wasn't thinking about me everyday or anything like that. So he wasn't quite missing me. I don't know what to make of it. I want to believe that he did actually like me but it's hard to. He introduced me to his mom and his grandma. he told me "I told my mom about you ." and a few days later said he wanted me to meet his grandma. And I did. And his mom too. He also would talk about meeting my dad without me bringing it up and also seemed genuinely upset when i accidentally mentioned i wanted to adopt bc im humanitarian on our first date. the second time I went to his house, his grandma told me he was an angel (that means he doesn't bring home a lot of girls to meet her) and she also told me that he had called home and specifically asked her to cook a special dish because his girlfriend was coming over for dinner. So i guess maybe he did like me. But who knows, guys will do anything to get in a girl's pants. It's hard for me to believe that he did because he didn't miss me. Got over it after two weeks. About asking me back out and your reading said no, it seems he wasn't directly asking me back out but he specified he just wanted to be friends and see how it goes. So since that isn't asking someone back out, I guess the reading you gave me that said he didnt was right.I guess either way, even if he did like me, it seems my feelings for him were stronger than his for me....I think that's what your reading might be saying, too, empress....
Twirl, he did tell me he had been crazy crazy about someone before...just once. And said that she made him crazy and did things that made him insecure. It sounds to me like that might fit with what you said about ideals. Once again, insecurity and trust issues can be worked out, but he wasn't even willing to work those out with someone he was crazy about.
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EmpressMendez
Knowflake Posts: 3382
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted May 30, 2013 11:26 AM
Thanks for the feedback Ras. Yes, you have to be careful with the questions you ask the cards, heh.But yes! Trust me when I say that he did like you. Maybe not loved you just yet, but he liked you -- genuinely. It came out, but his ex (female from past) is the issue. He has things to "work out" with her before he can have new love in his life. Well, see he did genuinely try.. Yes, most guys are like this..we (most of us) are more emotional and we start missing the guy like all of a sudden. However, guys have a different "brain" & it takes them a bit longer to actually start missing us. I remember always telling the father of my kids I missed him & he would honestly say "what? I just left!" lol. So, yea..then he would laugh & tell me it will take him longer to miss me. He thought it was silly, but that's how most guys are. That's what I was trying to tell you. Also, most cards were fast changing cards. It showed that things could quickly change where he would start missing you, but @ the time of the reading he wasn't yet @ that point to actually miss you. Hope you understand now ^_^ IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Moderator Posts: 6853
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted May 30, 2013 11:37 AM
Yeah he told me himself that if i hadn't texted him everyday and just done my own thing he would've eventually been like "damn im being stupid." He still doesn't miss me everyday now though. (only bc i asked and kept asking) ...He told me if I teased him it wouldve helped him to miss me more! Wtf.I do think he loved me because he told me he did after the breakup. We have a very tight love stelium and moon square pluto DW and venus opposite mars DW plus venus square pluto, so it makes sense that he would. I guess I will believe this about the ex combined with his idealism being what made him not miss me as much....I don't know. It's hard for me to. I still just want to say, nah he never cared.... IP: Logged |
EmpressMendez
Knowflake Posts: 3382
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted May 30, 2013 11:42 AM
Didn't you date for 3 months? No offense, but that is too short to genuinely love someone. But that's just my opinion. Love stelliums & composites in general show the energies surrounding an established couple (long term potential, etc).I have great synastries & composites with men I feel nothing for. Edit: Lol- but you're contradicting yourself when you say you have a tight love stellium & whatnot & that he loved you, but then say he didn't care? He liked you, but I personally don't think he loved you. I believe genuine love takes a longer time to develop. IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Moderator Posts: 6853
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted May 30, 2013 11:44 AM
Well he told me he did after the breakup
EDIT: Lol I am contradicting myself, because i dont know what to believe LOL. I guess I will take your word for it.
IP: Logged |
EmpressMendez
Knowflake Posts: 3382
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted May 30, 2013 11:47 AM
Well, why are you doubting it? M tells me he loves me all of the time, but I know that isn't true. What they perceive as love is probably infatuation, illusion, or whatnot. He could be telling you to please you, or not make you feel bad (just a suggestion, not saying that he lied about it, but think about it..)IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Moderator Posts: 6853
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted May 30, 2013 11:53 AM
He told me meaner things...so i do believe he wouldve been honest about it. And would have said "you cant love someone that fast." Or something like that. He was blunt with other questions i asked like when i said the kissing was healing he replied "huh"
And said he said that wasnt the right word for it. He said it was "extremely affectionate." So if hes willing to be blunt about other things i dont think he would lie about that.Who is M? The one that didnt miss you right away? :/ IP: Logged |
Twirl
Knowflake Posts: 694
From: Europe
Registered: Mar 2013
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posted May 30, 2013 11:54 AM
Same what empress said for the liking you, imo he really was genuine also. May I ask how old you both are?
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RunAroundScreaming
Moderator Posts: 6853
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted May 30, 2013 11:55 AM
I'm 23 and he's 20.Edit: He also gave me a valentine's day card which he told me he very carefully picked out, which said he loved me. To sum it up, it said i like you a lot, more than other girls...in fact i love you. (In spanish, i guess bc he liked what it said even tho it wasnt in english). And when i asked after the breakup if he meant that he replied, yes, i told you it took me a while to pick it out and i chose it bc of what it said. IP: Logged |
EmpressMendez
Knowflake Posts: 3382
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted May 30, 2013 11:59 AM
quote:
Who is M? The one that didnt miss you right away? :/
Lol, no. M is someone else. The father of my kids (the one I was with for 8 years) is the one that didn't miss me right away. I don't know, to me it feels like he just didn't want to hurt your feelings. But hope you find someone better. Good luck
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Twirl
Knowflake Posts: 694
From: Europe
Registered: Mar 2013
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posted May 30, 2013 12:01 PM
Aah okay. Thanks. That was somewhere around what I thought (just asking this for my own perspective btw. ) Really hope you feel less hurt soon! -Do excuse the tiny thread break, -
@hobbit: hi Hope all is well in the job department. Did you choose to start doing the program or decide against it in the end? IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Moderator Posts: 6853
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted May 30, 2013 12:11 PM
Okay
Either way, i was trying to find out more importantly if he used me or not. As long as i know that he did genuinely like me and wasnt just using me, i am happy. So thank you all for your kindness. Especially Empress, for your repeated kindness towards me.
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EmpressMendez
Knowflake Posts: 3382
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted May 30, 2013 12:15 PM
Anytime Ras, dw about it. If it would have said he was using you..you know I would have told you. I hate being lied to, so I try not to lie to others :]. I still wish you find someone much better & best of luck!IP: Logged |
hobbit
Knowflake Posts: 38
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted May 30, 2013 01:53 PM
@ Twirl
Got a second interview soon for something I want! Pursuing all things at the moment @ Empress
Thanks for clarification on other thread IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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