posted July 29, 2013 08:01 AM            

anyway my question is how can I prepare to meet a man i reaaally like- what do i need to do/change to meet him and so that when i do meet him i am ready and prepared and dont mess up?

i feel ready now to meet someone i really like i just need a few pointers perhaps what i need to do where i need to be any other info you have,

Thank you

posted July 29, 2013 08:34 AM            

Hope you're well

I'll try to get round to this tonight or tomor

posted August 01, 2013 03:40 PM            

I laid out a Celtic Cross using the Deviant Moon deck

Have a bad feeling about this, to be honest. You're quite sad, aren't you? Like your determination/confidence is undermined. The core of the problem is that you want this powerful man, potentially of status. Benevolent and energetic, someone who would be a match for your Aries moon. But I feel like you're reasoning too much. Now is a good time to turn your back on your past and just start drifting towards whatever awaits you. Powerplay is what you're used to apparently? Has it always felt like you're walking on the edge of imminent danger?

It seems like you have this idea of a life you want, things you want to do, all of that. Like actually planning this. You also don't want to be alone at night or actually just don't want to feel lonely, since this is doing your head in. But what I can't feel is the desire to give yourself to another person, potentially because someone misused you previously, so you don't understand what it's like, to exist for someone. Men want a feminine presence, someone to lean on. At this stage I can see you getting involved with someone who'll give you financial security, but it will be on the level of gratitude/reasoning, whilst affection/tenderness cannot be part of it. Your heart can only be melted by yourself. Once that change takes place, you might be ready, if thats your idea of "really liking someone". If you're fine with not having this emotional connection then opportunities will be there I guess. Really depends on what you believe to be spiritual fulfilment. If it's not a priority, all sorts of pleasures are available to you through men you will meet but will not love with your entire being, which doesn't exclude "really liking", does it? I'm not sure you want to give up your entire being though at this moment, which is obviously subject to change over time.

The good news is that this certain sorrowfulness is dwindling and not ruling your life/feelings anymore.

posted August 03, 2013 07:31 AM            

WOAH! that is so incredibly accurate thank you! like you are seeing into my soul or something.

my life has always felt like (well since an adult i had a very financially secure childhood i genuinely thought money just grew on trees) my life is like a pack of cards taht could easily implode- always walking on the edge in so many ways...

ill try to think less and just be that is definitely wise advice.

yes giving myself to another is scary to me....but i am brave! i do definitely need to soften, but yes ive been somewhat misused i guess in the past but it was no ones fault except perhaps mine...

i think the most important thing i need to take from what you had said is to think less and just be more and be ready to change and soften but in an organic way...

i went to a shamanic healer and he told me i am not grounded (even that sentence sounds so ungrounded ahahha) but since then ive made lots of positive changes, i guess ill have to see what life brings me and not plan so much, as a reading of my inner life at this given moment it is spot on - i guess i want to want to give myself entirely to another but dont actaully want it- there is a very very big obstacle and i dont know what it is but it does not want me to do that just yet....

posted August 03, 2013 03:41 PM            

But I know it's very hard to grow soft inside. I've had bouts of grief/depression that were pretty horrible but it all was replaced by the fact that someone loves me, even though I can't go back to being with him, bitterness is gone or mostly so.

What do you think of the whole concept of 'falling in love with yourself'? Does this come naturally to you? [yes my venus trine ASC with an orb of 2-3 goes a long way towards cancelling out the square]

I read something about pink tourmaline that kind of melts the heart and all that, even wanted to get myself one but somehow keep delaying, check it out, maybe it will work

posted August 10, 2013 11:31 AM            

i think the ascendant is more about your you appear - so having gemini rising trine aquarius venus (as i do too about the same orb) would more affect how you appear to others rather than have an effect on self esteem - i imagine with that combo it would bring out the more airy libran side of venus- the people pleasing, aesthetically pleasing, harmony loving side than the pleasure oriented, money loving self esteem taurean side of venus - you have a taurus moon though so perhaps that helps more with those things- taurus moon is known to be a very positive placement. i guess indirectly if you come across as pleasant to others and visually pleasing then that helps with self esteem but its totally different from an internal thing as it would be with say taurus rising capricorn venus.

i guess i grieve the years i mispent or whatnot but im not really bitter i think to be bitter is the opposite of to accept and i totally accept things as they happened i see they were necessary i just dont like it haha.

alan oken who i really enjoy but is very into esoteric impersonalist astrology says that venus square saturn is troublesome for romantics as it blocks romanticism that does not follow the Law (of right human relations) so it does not block romanticism just that which does not fit into saturns concept of what is right great.

i know eventually ill get to where i want to be but i feel like whati want and what i am supposed to do are different things- capricorns are supposed to scale the mountain when i dont give a **** about the mountain i just want to relax by the beach.

a big problem is living in london its a very heart blocking city - very cold very materialistic - it has lots of positives but from the point of view of this post it is not helpful to me at all and tehre are many other cities id rather be that would be less helpful to me in the capricorn sense of rising (or even learning life lessons- london is a good city to teach you things!) but more helpful in terms of being more loving and accepting- i cant do both in this city and one part of me would love to run away from what is my destiny and i dunno be a waitress in some seaside town but the other half wont let me

ill let you know how i find the watermelon tourmaline.

posted August 11, 2013 01:38 AM            

quote:

---

alan oken who i really enjoy but is very into esoteric impersonalist astrology says that venus square saturn is troublesome for romantics as it blocks romanticism that does not follow the Law (of right human relations) so it does not block romanticism just that which does not fit into saturns concept of what is right

---

what on earth is right or not right? what is the law?

posted August 14, 2013 07:27 AM            

so the more you learn about and incorporate libran qualities such as these the less saturn will block you goes the theory if you have venus square saturn- basically those with this placement have outmoded ways of dealing with people that need to change so saturn forces change and punishes quite harshly any deviation from what is ''right''.

you know how some people seem to get away with all kinds of bad behaviour and somehow dont seem to pay whereas, well, we will haha at least where love is concerned.

perhaps for them in this life they need that freedom in love to learn something but for us we need restriction to grow- its like how sagitarians have endless freedom to grow and seem to get away with anything whereas capricorn needs endless restriction to grow and evolve and gets awaywith nothing- its not fair to say i get away with nothing but i certainly dont get away with much where love and relationships are concerned ugh.

especially hard for venus in aquarius given its quite a freedom loving position for venus - tis a good position for venus- especially in the venusian decan as we have as aquarius in venus attracts people easily and has wide appeal but is freedom loving as it wishes to spread that love far and wide and give equally and impersonally (of course there are lots of factors modifying this need and approach) so having it squared saturn in scorpio which is blocked intense emotions basically is quite tough its blocking that spread of love.

anyway libra is more about the mind than the heart ultimately- its about doing things ''the right way'' so its useful to have a blue print of what is right but it does not engage the heart and that is what i need to do as you pointed out- in that respect england is not good for me - england is all about manners and doing the right thing and being proper and all that- you know hold the door open for people say thank you 20 times a day etc without really engaging the heart or genuinely appreciating the act of kindness i feel.

thats why i prefer greece in that respect- greeks can be rude but at least when are kind they are real.

but its fine i feel like ive learnt alot from that terribly english form of ''niceness'' as it does not come easily to me - i feels fake to me...i mean i dont mind being fair to someone but i wont be nice to someone i dont like- i will give them that dead fish i look and a super fake smile in the american style of fake niceness that lets everyone and their dog know you would stab them in the back if it were legal- but the english style fake where you genuinely lie to yourself that you are being nice and doing the right thing and care that the other person likes you- um no!

its all linked you know - like you cant separate one aspect of venus' function without grasping the other less interesting aspects- and many venus aspects are actually quite dull! beauty and bonding interests me- being liked and matching my clothes perfectly does not.

i would like to swap my venus square saturn for venus square pluto that sounds interesting- venus on its own is tasteless lacks flavour i need some spice with all that sugar you know? i dunno i have a stronger mars- sex interests me more than love and i struggle to bond with men unless i really really enjoy sleeping with and touching them. i just rarely meet men who i feel like that about because the universe does not bring such men into my orbit very often for the reasons outlined above. i just accept that there are certain lessons i need to learn and limitations i need to accept- they say there are two ways to learn in life- through karma or through grace- i choose to learn through grace as much as possible

posted August 14, 2013 11:00 AM            

You can't believe all of that rubbish surely?

Saturn can foxtrot itself and I don't care. All this foxtrotting crap about lessons - seriously I'm cringing and rolling my eyes?

Who the foxtrot is Saturn to grant me love or deny it? Are you saying it can divert cool guys away from my foxtrotting path and give me fat porcine cocaine addicts aged 35 so I learn foxtrotting nonsense about relationships???

I should have been dead by now if any of this was true.

posted August 14, 2013 04:34 PM            

saturn REWARDS when you learn your lesson- its not about settling AT ALLLL- so yah there is no reason you will not get a man who is amazing and fantastic- in fact its more likely than not- i absoltely believe this - look at giselle she settled with leonardo di caprio and now has that hot piece of manhood tom brody who is woah!!! saturn is about working hard to get the BEST so there is no reason you wont get the absolute best whatever best means to you- it just helps to prepare you for the best so that when you get it you dont stuff it up= how many woman have a good thing then their ego or bad behaviour means they stuff it up?

anyway i appeal to the kind of guys i want to- when i go to the right places i meet young rich european well educated guys (this is my criteria- european upper middle class good looking tall broad) its just im rarely in that setting as i have to work so darn hard in this city and even when i do i miss that spark- its rare for me to deeply connect with any man - so saturn is not denying me directly its just i dont find myself in the right situations enough is all.

sometimes the kind of guy i imagine you like comes up to me and i am just like gah- skinny plays a guitar too cool for school- sooo not interesting to me haha- i think what a waste as they are a ''catch'' like my friends will have a crush on them but just not what works for me i bet my type would be deeply uninteresting to you h haha

i think you need to think carefully about what you can learn and then what you want whatever type of guy that is will come- like attracts like so just focus on the kind of man you want not the kind you dont want you know? like i have a very clear idea of what you dont want- older than you seems a big one, one who uses his money or status seems another and one who is ''boring' or too steady- i feel its better to talk and focus on what you do want - so think in your mind what you do want- when you see those boys or men smile at them even if you have no intention of speaking to them or even want to be with them- spread love and it will come right back at you- it just will take a bit more time than others- i feel bad for spinster type women but i dont even think many of them have the venus square saturn i think that its women who dont have it but should have it taht fail miserably at life - women who do have it - their minds are focused on what they want and how to get it and trust me no smart person would stand in the way of what i want because i will ANNIHILATE anyone who does- parents friends whoever my goal in life is to find a husband

you underestimate saturns good side way too much- it will reward- i imagine you dont have much time for kate middleton but she is capricorn and was determined to get her hands on her man (and his crown) and was willing to bide her time to get it - whilst all those weak silly fawning women around the prince floundered - saturn can be your friend just dont fight it so much- saturn does not want you to settle that is the LAST THING it wants- saturn is about soul growth it only restricts you to help you grow- settling will never help you grow the only people who end up settling are those who never learn- learn and saturn will reward you beyond your wildest dreams with whaty ou set your heart on- be it career, men, fame whatever saturn is definitely definitely your friend just dont fight

the way i see it karma is like all this debris and blockage to what you want - if you focus on holding onto your old habits and bad ways (not you specifically but people in general) saturn will never let you progress but if you make your goal your only attachment and lose attachment to all those past habits and bad karma you WILLget what you want- almost without doubt.

saturn does not even demand that you wait -if you lose your old bad habits tomorrow it will reward you tomorrow its as easy (and as hard) as that- pluto is the unpredictable planet not saturn- and you will NEVER learn the lessons you need about relationships with old fat cocaine addicts who you dont respect saturn is all about respect so there is no way you could learn what you need if you do not respect the man you are with - so no if you want to learn the lessons you need you just need to go inside and think hard about what needs changing then you will find the cool guys you desire so that you can test what you have learnt by going deep inside.

posted August 14, 2013 05:12 PM            

This sums everything up for me. Or was it a song by placebo? "Patience comes to the ugly not me"

I was totally into the wrong stuff during my formative years.

One commonplace thing they write about saturns influence is that one seems to have a hard time believing one deserves things ? I've never had reservations about this. All the cool stuff should be mine if I don't want it that labels it as uncool.

And I don't think I mentioned this but I lost my lover to a toxic lifestyle, the soul mine loved decomposed possibly for good. I spent three years in bloody hell. Basically before telling me that was a lesson anyone should think twice and probably be in my situation. I didn't deserve to experience the void every day, knowing no person exists anymore that my soul would fall in love with, no person who knows who I am and with whom I would want total spiritual/emotional intimacy. I didn't deserve this. The long and short of it. Give me a gun and tell me to fire it at any of the people I know apart from family in exchange for bringing his being back to life I would.

There is either lessons/empowerment/all that rubbish or injustice. My experience tells me injustice exists, so I can't be asked to come to a stupid classroom and humbly apply myself in the hope of getting an A or two from the great foxtrotting teacher. Besides I hate this whole Saturnian responsibility crap, this is like the last thing on my list. I have been told no one has the right to judge me, now why should saturn be given the privilege?

This whole song and dance boils down to not getting something as a result of not being good enough, and what? Who issues the standards? Who issues the bloody standards who deserves to judge me, who lost a lover etc....? I don't want anyone, they can all go screw themselves because they can't compare to his toe clippings and they walk up to me as if they were entitled to a DT every night. Disgusting if anything. More candidates for lobotomy. I'm in the mood for condemning people to lobotomy tonight.

So you see after whatever been throug I can't sit down and write a list of desired qualities. By the way last summer I could have stolen my friends French upper middle class bf, all he wanted was a cue but I was like I don't do this kinda thing, and we were consubstantial beyond belief throughout.... So I have nothing against European upper middle class, if this is what one was born into

posted August 15, 2013 04:45 PM            

i can only write about my experiences and what helps me but you have to remember i have a MUCH TIGHTER square than you and far fewer harmonising aspects than you (i swear you said you have a venus trine neptune- could be wrong) so i will experience things differently and have different life lessons - probably tougher more saturnian in that respect- i think the fact its so much tighter makes it harder. plus i have literally no one in the world looking out for me other than me- i dont speak to family anymore i have few friends no real set career - literally all i have is a tight little body and a cute face to recommend me i NEED to find a man who can look after me i need to be willing to do what is necessary to get what i want and blow up any obstacle standing in my path - i remember once reading a saying 'i would rather lead a life that would make a good book than a good life'' and at a young life decided to live it but now im like o rly? i dont know im tired im like a ruthless little becky sharpe and well yah its tiring i need to be looked after and protected. evyerone has a different dharma and different life lessons they need to learn.

i know what you mean about one mans toe clippings being superior to some aweful mans whole being haha- i totally totally feel it - totally- there are just so few few few men who just inspire total devotion in me - but one thing venus (not saturn dont worry!) has taught me is that everyone is worthy of love and those guys who just seem so... ugh well their mother looked at them and loved them and eveyrone is worthy of love because we are all children of god- i can understand that at an intellectual level- and even sometimes beyond- when you see a man in genuine pain because he cannot have you or feels undeserving- i dont mean creeps that think they have some right to any woman (you live in america the land of spoilt frat boys - honestly them would make me turn lesbian if i lived there i swear i totally understand how you would feel as strong as you do) but the man who just wants in that animal way and cant have its a real visceral pain- so yah venus has taught me to be kinder to soften - its nice actually

i hope for your sake you can loosen your attachment to the past and find someone amazing who you love and loves you you should just be proud of yourself that you are capable of so much love and devotion- most people are not developed enough for that- too selfish, too much ego to lose themselves in anything deeper....