posted August 13, 2013 03:11 PM            

Current Situation: 8 of Swords
Conflicting/Complimenting factor: the Fool
Reason for Situation: the Magician

Relevant past: 2 of Cups (r)
How you feel about situation: the Emperor
Immediate present: 5 of Pentacles (r)

How you feel about yourself: 6 of Cups (r)
Environment: 10 of Pentacles
Advice: 10 of Wands
Probable future: 3 of Wands (r) with a clarifier of Strength

So what I pick up mostly is a lot of fear. Is there someone in your life, new, that you fancy quite a lot? Like, can see yourself with for a long time... I say that, because there's also a whitewash of small encouragement built into these cards as well. I'm scared, but I want... so MAYBE I should try. The 8 is about the fear of making past mistakes, but crossed with the Fool, you want to try. The Magician says it's because you see something there that you could have; something that appeals to all things in you: rational, emotional, etc.

In the past, something went wrong relationship wise I think. 2 of Cups (r). Did somebody move out or did the split feel like a divorce? This is affecting how you feel about things now. While the more playful, desirous side of you wants to go be the Fool, fear and self-preservation have you taking a more tradition approach. The Emperor. Rules to be followed. Maybe even the Rules for dating? I feel like there are lists involved.
The 5 of Pentacles (r) also suggests to me, though, that you're again getting tired of being left outside of the magic that is relationships. I don't mean your garden variety; we're talking the forever kind. So there's a real push and pull between fear and desire, which I honestly think is a good thing. A little bit of caution before the leap is never bad, and honestly, what are our past mistakes if not blueprints for the next round?

The 6 reversed tells me you still aren't ready to bear your soul yet. Playing it a little close to the chest in all regards, which is okay, but you should know that the environment and advice are both 10 cards. And both wonderful ones at that. The environment now is offering up security and promise. A bank bond for the future that is sure to bring prosperity and comfort... something good. The advice is to just overthrow and push through this last trial. This last slice of doubt that you have. It's not the 10 of Swords, which asks you to abandon the fear completely; the wands ask you to work through it actively. Feel it as it happens and talk yourself through it. Push onward.

The outcome is the 3 of Wands (r) which says to me in the next month you aren't going to meet your future spouse and KNOW right off the bat. No wedding planning or plans to move in. But Strength tells me to stick with it. This person, that I think there might be. Just because the surface doesn't offer a guarantee, doesn't mean the nougat center won't.

posted August 14, 2013 05:49 AM            

I had completely forgotten about this one. lol

However, to be honest, after having read it for the first time, I had to go for a walk.
I do that sometimes when things get "too much".
What that tells me (and you), is that your reading hit uncomfortably close to home.

It`s all true. Yes.

Yes, Fears, a big issue in my life. Especially when it comes to the "dating/ romantic game".
So far my fears always had the upper hand and I let things just be the way they were.
After all I have some sort of social network with my family, friends, neighbours etc.
So not that much need to go out of my comfort zone,r ight?

however, yes, there is someone; someone who I am a little crazy to think he could even have a little bit interest in me, or that this could lead to anything.

That was the reason I really decided to totally, not just stay away, but cut it out of my mind, heart whatever some weeks ago. It shouldn´t have been too hard. After all he is just a crush, and it is all a mind-game anyway (like it always has been; I like to see the potential, but am not really driving to manifest any of it. lol).
This time however, I was shocked just how much it hurt (the cutting-off-scenario), and it was the first time that I really understood that this here is different.
Maybe simply because *I* have changed and become different.
And yes there is a real push-and-pull between my fears and staying in my comfort zone and the desire to go out and, well, things ARE changing, I guess.

To push through that barrier in my mind, it`s not just important in terms of this crush, I feel there is even more at stake here. Me.

Scary stuff for me, to be honest. Especially since I am no teenager more.

But so yes, your reading was totally true.