posted September 02, 2013 01:06 AM            

Backstory:
In a relationship with a great man, still very much in love with him...

Last night, we had a bad blowout where he accused me of being "too negative and judgmental, and it disgusted him." (Strong words!!! )

When I calmed down, I remembered our synastry as having my Mercury conjunct his Saturn-square-Mars aspect.
So whatever I say with Mercury conjunct Saturn... it comes out sounding negative, judgemental... and it enrages him?! Is that what is going on???!

( I once had this Merc square Mars where I was the Mars, and I ended up thinking he was the dumbest man alive! In the end I just had no respect for his opinion. Talk about karma - after an awful Mars square Merc synastry exact repeating itself where I am now the Mercury. Such a blow because usually I'm able to say all the right-ish things!)

At first I wasn't worried because I read that Saturn just inhibits whatever it touches in synastry ...binding tie, but described like the Saturn person doesn't feel any effect.

But since it is square Mars, the touchiest planet, he must really feel it every time I open my mouth...

Do you think there is any hope? I'd be crestfallen to walk away thinking we were just never meant to work out. But I think it will take tremendous work... and with Saturn square Mars at play, it may not be worth it.

posted September 02, 2013 01:16 AM            

Also, I don't see any immediate aspects for a good lasting relationship

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I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate?

posted September 02, 2013 05:59 AM            

But that's sad - I don't know if we have them really either.

While my Mercury sets off his Mars-Saturn square, his Merc quintiles my Venus so I just love the way he talks. My Sun-Pluto conjunction is perfectly sextile his Venus so there's lots of attraction... But that might be it.

No major Moon aspects except for Neptune square Moon :S (and my Saturn quintiling his Moon)

It's not a magical synastry. Just a lot of 4th/8th house placements and the Venus sextile. You're not inspired?

quote:

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Originally posted by NickiG:
Saturn is currently transiting Scorpio so the Scorpio person is feeling its effects right now

Also, I don't see any immediate aspects for a good lasting relationship

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posted September 02, 2013 06:00 AM            

But that's sad - I don't know if we have them really either.

While my Mercury sets off his Mars-Saturn square, his Merc quintiles my Venus so I just love the way he talks. My Sun-Pluto conjunction is perfectly sextile his Venus so there's lots of attraction... But that might be it.

No major Moon aspects except for Neptune square Moon :S (and my Saturn quintiling his Moon)

It's not a magical synastry. Just a lot of 4th/8th house placements and the Venus sextile. You're not inspired?

quote:

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Originally posted by NickiG:
Saturn is currently transiting Scorpio so the Scorpio person is feeling its effects right now

Also, I don't see any immediate aspects for a good lasting relationship

---

posted September 02, 2013 06:00 AM            

But that's sad - I don't know if we have them really either.

While my Mercury sets off his Mars-Saturn square, his Merc quintiles my Venus so I just love the way he talks. My Sun-Pluto conjunction is perfectly sextile his Venus so there's lots of attraction... But that might be it.

No major Moon aspects except for Neptune square Moon :S (and my Saturn quintiling his Moon)

It's not a magical synastry. Just a lot of 4th/8th house placements and the Venus sextile. You're not inspired?

quote:

---

Originally posted by NickiG:
Saturn is currently transiting Scorpio so the Scorpio person is feeling its effects right now

Also, I don't see any immediate aspects for a good lasting relationship

---

posted September 02, 2013 09:17 AM            

No I don't see any thing in the chart that'll help make your relationship last, but as Linda Goodman always said "if you love deeply enough and truly enough then you can create your own miracles"

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I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate?

posted September 02, 2013 10:20 AM            

I truly believe in the truth that charts show and I know from experience how powerful certain synastry aspects can be.

I'm really hoping that this relationship can last despite 0 major Sun-Sun, Sun-Moon, Moon-Moon things. Part of me refuses to believe there is a law that those are necessary for a successful relationship.

Surely there must be happy couples in the world who know nothing about astrology or synastry and enjoy their sustainable partnerships regardless?

posted September 02, 2013 10:44 AM            

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I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate?

posted September 02, 2013 10:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by NickiG:
I believe the same. I have often wished and hoped that my relationship would be a lasting and happy one. So far none of them have and now the best man I've ever had is giving me an ultimatum

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ME TOO!!!! Is this a friggin blasted transit at work?! I'm feeling cornered as well. It's either change - or lose. But I'm willing to put in the work and learn from this... Confronting that I might lose - in the end, that this might not work out, being reminded that our relationship is "on the line" is SO hard to hear, but I'm really hoping that what's happening with Saturn is in the end going to make me a better person than how I started out.

I think if he's issuing an ultimatum, I know it sucks and is a tough situation to be in, but it's a sign that he's invested in the outcome, inside it's a sign that he wants to make it work. It's not a flat out denial/refusal. It is an extremity - but inside, also a hope for change.

posted September 02, 2013 11:13 AM            

He's always telling me what I'm doing wrong, what I need to work on. I need to change and do a full 360. We moved to a whole different part of the state we're in to move in with a friend of his. Before we moved I had a job and only agreed to move if it was guaranteed I would get a job. This friend of my husband assured me that I'd have no problem because its a college town. We get here and literally two places are hiring. I put in applications to the both of them and one of them my husband put an application in for and he already has an interview set up (and boy I was ****** , because he knew I wanted that job) and this other place the hiring manager has been out for a while. I had called them last week to talk to the manager and I was told he'd be in today, so I call at 9am to talk to him and I'm told he's not in and won't be in until next week so I'm like wtf.

And my husband is cracking down on me harder and harder everyday, knowing this town has no jobs, and I'm like "what else do you want me to do?"

So now I'm getting an ultimatum

I love Pluto but right now I'm cursing it and I've never liked Saturn so to get a double whammy from them is killing me

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I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate?

posted September 02, 2013 11:44 AM            

The only difference is I'm not married - this is a new relationship, 8 months, but surprisingly similar scenario. I know fighting is terrible and living with it has been hard, but I can't imagine your husband actually leaving you for this -- he is probably issuing an ultimatum because he is frustrated and doesn't know what else to do (the only reason why we ever give someone an ultimatum!) But I'm so sorry you're going through this, sounds stressful.

Like your husband, my boyfriend has started nitpicking and criticizing me - what I'm doing wrong and need to work on.

He has Virgo Venus retrograde, and I knew that going in so I was prepared. I know I have a tendency to be hypercritical of myself and occasionally others, so I am not afraid of someone telling me to step up when it's justified.

He recently accused me of doing a 180 on him (exact words) -- I've become this "negative, judgmental person".... I've never been called any of those things in my life!!!! (But Saturn has gotten me sooooooooooo dark/negative loop, so there is some truth to that recently.)

I recently moved to Europe to start my life over, but where I am living it's a tough job market and I will have to begin my own company in order to have fulfilling work. I've been here for a few months now, and my boyfriend is really disappointed that I haven't gotten it figured out yet. (It's 3000 miles away from home and in a foreign language someplace I've never been and know nobody, etc, but yes... I need to get it together.)

My guy is cracking down on me too, but I see it as a helpful thing because I know the pressure is a necessary fire under my bum. I am trying to be optimistic "if the relationship ends from this pressure, at least I will have tried accomplishing something" -- but it hurts and is scary to think I might lose this relationship.

Ultimately though I want to be the kind of person who inspires my man to be with me, I want to be busy and have a life of purpose, so I am holding onto that and trying not to let the relationship pressure engulf or terrify me.

posted September 02, 2013 12:00 PM            

You know, my husband is unwilling to travel with me to a foreign country, because he doesn't want to go to a place that doesn't speak english. I want to be a Japanese teacher, or teach English in japan so I'm highly likely to have to go to japan

I'm trying to go to school in the spring for teaching. I wanted to start this semester, to start to better my life but according to my husband and his friend that we're living with says it not a good idea

I mean, I have already put in an application to start school in the spring and now I might have to go up there and tell them I won't be able to go to school here because I'm going to have to move back in with my mother

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I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate?