posted October 02, 2013 04:37 PM            

I have this unhealthy preoccupation re: possessions, I try to minimise them for some reason, ditching, recycling and whatnot, this has become a fixation, it often interests me more than truly important things

Anyway I got sad in view of all this and found myself sort of mildly drifting away from the land of the living simply as a result of witnessing indecorous things which - frankly! - will always exist so it should be no big deal, but here I am watching yesterday's football highlights in order not to go back to being depressed and they only serve as a quick fix

To cut a long story short and to ask a question to anyone who's got a deck handy and doesn't mind sparing some time: what the hell should I do to avoid going back there? Because frankly I don't want to. Is it a medical condition or something? But I walk about, crack jokes and laugh....

[to all those in charge of a hate campaign against me: go to an adult shop and get something to play with, it's healthier than trying to convince yourselves you laugh at me]

posted October 02, 2013 05:21 PM            

What exactly do you mean by this? Was he coming onto you winking? Did he touch you? What?

posted October 02, 2013 05:22 PM            

plus he's an awesome digital PR expert i am supposed to introduce to this other man who wants to commission me to write things

family is not a solution in my case i am afraid, or rather i do not want to have to turn to them in order to get that. plus they all think depression stems from my deficiencies, i wouldn't want to have to listen to that again

posted October 02, 2013 05:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dreaming111:
".. all things unwholesome happen when she doesn't look, obvs I never wanted any of this)"

What exactly do you mean by this? Was he coming onto you winking? Did he touch you? What?

---

posted October 02, 2013 05:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by andstuff:
touched. when no one could see during friend-like greeting hugs

---

Well next time say, "Oh hey there, let's keep this friendly ok?"

And kind of push him off.
Also, don't meet your friend at her house while that douche is around. And if she is a genuine friend tell her. Don't tell her for only herself but for yourself and any girl that might come in contact with that A S S HOLE.

"Hey listen, I don't know how to tell you this but I don't really appreciate how your husband touched me on so ans so day. Would you like to talk to him or should I tell him he's out of bounds?"

If your friend is really your friend she will not brush away what you say.

Your safety, sanity and peace is what is important NOT the aggressors or the one that ALLOWS this to continue (your friend).

posted October 02, 2013 05:41 PM            

did you ever think about going to have some shaman healing...wow!!

posted October 02, 2013 05:41 PM            

1) the girl does not deserve to even learn about the existence/possibility of such things, men's sliminess etc.. Or if she ever does, it's not gonna be from me

posted October 02, 2013 05:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by redshoes:
((((andstuff))))

did you ever think about going to have some shaman healing...wow!!

---

I'm in Europe. Not sure it's done around here. At any rate I would be uncomfortable / reluctant to shell out. Somehow don't believe it might qualify as a solution (for me that is), I could be wrong tho for all I know

but thanks ^_^

posted October 02, 2013 05:56 PM            

That is partly the answer to your question...reach out and get help. I was very very depressed for a long time and then studied healing and all changed for me

I pulled an enchanted map oracle card for you

~Ride the Wave~

Do you swim? Two beautiful dolphins jump over and out of a wave, surfing the top of it..they are free and at home with the water. They know they are in the right place. You are being guided to your path but the journey can be rocky and you need to keep riding the wave to get there

I feel you are slow to share your pain, but if you changed your attitude to it, it would also change. Water, even immersing yourself in it would help to move some of the stuck emotions for you

..and shaman healers practice the world over

posted October 03, 2013 12:02 PM            

I meant to thank you for doing this!!! Nice deck btw, I looked for the image of the card online, apparently the LWB says something like "stay on the path you're on", right? (funnay, apparently I should keep giving things away)

I'm going to Berlin for 10 days btw in mid Oct, lets see if what you told me comes true

posted October 03, 2013 12:06 PM            

Berlin! So glad you are going and if i remember rightly 2 cups surfaced..i reckon that if not another person, somehow you are going to have some kind of love affair ..
...hopefully with you

Thanks for the kind words and yes you are allowed to say that

posted October 03, 2013 01:48 PM            

I can see lot of differences between us, specially how we express ourselves, but a lot of similarities to in some aspects, ignored by the one person you like the most, through no fault of you own i'm guessing a long with a few other things, and two nights ago i was just thinking 'i really don't care if i don't wake up again...i won't do anything to 'activate' that feeling, but i won't fight it either.' now ...well still apathetic to it. This being the same month my 'not here anymore' sister was born, isn't helping yet.

so yeah post your natal chart (remove your personal info) and click on transits so we could try to see what is going on (check the asteroid forum for the depression and death related asteroids or i will in a bit, such am back on my own computer at last!!)

posted October 03, 2013 03:11 PM            

well I remember pulling Temperance for you and feeling roughly that??

i don't know how to say this, but i sort of snapped out of it not so long ago and it felt alright? like I don't want to go back there, i just don't want to, it makes me unhappy, i've got too much life/love in my body (i think someone wrote this about Goethe who similarly snapped out of dark times because he loved life too much, I can feel my organic being being all about life, just that my ego disagrees at times)

would be awesome if you could take a look, here goes

posted October 03, 2013 04:35 PM            

i don't some trick that helped me, when i remember it, was when someone told me "those thoughts are overwhelming you and getting to you? well can you hold your breath for a second or a minute? then just do this for the thoughts, and just go on.

i don't know if it is the way they said it, and now only internet but it worked.

anyway i will be adding here, every time i look and find something new, as i'm still learning, but first 'heart breaking' alignment i saw, is transit Chiron (painful thing) conjunct your already fragile natal Mars in Pisces.
you are actually very gentle on the inside. and this transit of Chiron conjunt your Mars, is affecting your drive, and self motivation.

Are things happening to your social life, that are leaving you more let down than cheered up? You seem to attract people because of your artistic flair or insight, and right now with Chiron this is just not happening with you, you don't feel motivated.

just know the depression is because of some heavy transits in a water sign. Pisces to, the sign of illusions, where clarity is hard, so also difficult.

Also i notice you are going through your Saturn return...let me tell you these are NEVER EASY. Just hang in there, a lot of people, there life becomes difficult, they seriously start thinking about death in other ways through it (not always suicide, but not always not suicide either), you're Saturn return will end sooner than you know it, so just let these feelings be for now, i noticed fighting makes them stronger, and hence why some people 'give in' in the end...just letting them be, as in not fighting, just lets things go after they have done their time.

then more of the stranger water, transit Jupiter is in watery cancer, opposing your natal sun. There are also feeling of luck opposing you, or just not being on your side...but in truth, baby steps, also do go to Berlin, good things and new opportunities could come from this opposition, when a person has it and travels.

Transit pluto also in your first house of the self, conjunct Neptune but at a wide angle...you will learn how to be assertive without sounding like anything else other than assertive, now if you start noticing what is going around....this will happen because you are very aware of the confusions going around you, and you will want to find a way to put an end to it.

okay the Chiron in a water sign, and Saturn return in a Water sign, and then Jupiter opposing your natal Jupiter from a water sign to, is what caught my attention, (a little water, and things grow, too much water and we have a flood, hence why the emotions are getting the best of you athe moment)

i forgot what the chart looks like, and would like if some who know those things even better also have a look, but just hang on...when Saturn leaves, the planet usually leaves a real nice present behind for what a meanie he's been! and you like art, try to use more and more of that in your life for personal reasons, just till you get over this phase!

when i look again if i find more, i will post here as promised.

posted October 04, 2013 12:36 AM            

Let me know if you need to talk, I am here.

posted October 04, 2013 04:46 AM            

Hey thanks for looking at this and for your kind words!

Maybe i am being too naive, but the story between them is complicated, they married very young because of a pregnancy, I think he wasn't quite ready for that sort of thing, he's still very young, so I was just hoping maybe in a few years he would gradually learn to appreciate what he's got. The girl is very Jewish in the good (if not the best) sense of the word, intelligent, from a family of classical musicians and whatnot, really into her little son... I just keep hoping this individual will one day realise what a gem he's got himself, I dunno when he's older. At this moment he is on the selfish idiot side in a few respects, but really I do not think it is my job to interfere. Whats meant to fall apart will fall apart, what isn't will last

posted October 04, 2013 06:16 AM            

i would not let anothers problems trouble you

i went to a shamanic healer in london james phillips= id recommend but its up to you...he also works in LA...