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Author Topic:   Why can't I get over this?
jenny415
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Posts: 98
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Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 06, 2013 04:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jenny415     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am sombody that feels very anxious when something unexpectadly ends and I feel no sense of closure.

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filleaspirant
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Posts: 257
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Registered: Sep 2013

posted October 06, 2013 05:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for filleaspirant     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Jenny, you can post it here and I will read it, if you'd like.

I'm one of those that also needs closure, even if it's only for my own peace of mind. I have sent the occasional email to a person or another that I felt I'd wronged or hurt. Some replied, others didn't, but I still felt good with myself knowing that I did what I felt was right.

*hugs*

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jenny415
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posted October 06, 2013 05:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jenny415     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hey

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filleaspirant
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posted October 06, 2013 05:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for filleaspirant     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Jenny, tbh, I'm not sure about the wiseness of speaking of voids, for that's a bit too personal for some people, and it might be interpreted as passive-agressive... But overall, it's a very positive goodbye to a person that had a good impact in your life but is going away on a sour note.

I say send it, you have nothing to lose! You might, at most, have your ego a little bruised if he doesn't respond, but then you won't ever second-guess yourself on your decision. What-ifs are a b*tch!

But, really, you know in your heart what to do. Listen to it.

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jenny415
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Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 06, 2013 06:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jenny415     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
okay thank you for the insight, i will remove the void part and think about whether to send it or not!
:>

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flower
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Posts: 154
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Registered: Dec 2011

posted October 06, 2013 11:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for flower     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have read the email you wrote and just wanted to express my opinion. I think you should send it. It is for you more than it is for him, even if he dosnt get back to you, which he probably won't, it will help you move on. Just my 0.02c.

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Twirl
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Posts: 2308
From: Europe
Registered: Mar 2013

posted October 07, 2013 06:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Twirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Jennie,

Please keep in mind that he was the one in the wrong here & not handling this correctly. These are his mistakes in my opinion.

Good luck

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jenny415
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Posts: 98
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Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 08, 2013 12:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jenny415     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks twirl, I decided not to send it. If he wants to reach out to me, he can but it is on his turf to.

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SandyShore
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Registered: Jun 2013

posted October 08, 2013 03:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SandyShore     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It is a good letter, but wiser not to send it and move on. On the other hand, if you have other reasons for sending a letter - only you would know - such as if he can change the 'firing' to end of contract or downsizing or something more constructive, because obviously he didn't care to give an explanation or give you any chance to improve on the job.

In any case, in a professional context I'd try to keep a professional tone and I would revise the last paragraph and remove some too emotionally charged parts e.g. nobody ever has quite like that before ; I want to let you know that (just keep: I appreciated the time spent at ---- ); and the many laughs shared! The memories I have will remain as a succession of pictures of a happy moment in time that will remain in my heart; and help fill voids within us on different levels. Thanks for filling the void for a while; in this crazy world,

And I would change ''Wishing you all the love and luck" to 'Wishing all the very best' ---in my opinion.

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NoRainNoRainbows
Moderator

Posts: 511
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Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 08, 2013 04:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for NoRainNoRainbows     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by jenny415:
Thanks twirl, I decided not to send it. If he wants to reach out to me, he can but it is on his turf to.

Just saw this, and im glad you did not send it. Usually people even when wrong, don't like to be reminded of things that went wrong, also men seem to respond better to shorter letters.

I had a bad episode with someone who knew this real well, and ended sending a message i sent her, explaining why i don't like her, to a 3rd party pretending to be after twisting a few things, to make it seem like i am retarded or something.

thankfully the person responded later on, and saw usually i prefer to keep it real short, unless i know the person, but also not thankfully as the letter left a sour taste in few mouths...so yeah, very good choice not to send it. i am sorry if it means no closure, which is the worst feeling on the planet, but it's okay you'll get over it, as time does make things better.

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jenny415
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Posts: 98
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Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 08, 2013 04:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jenny415     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks no rain. I am glad I wrote it but will save it for myself. Hopefully I will get closure at some point so i can move on, but until then ill just fake it until i can feel it?
:/

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poochycat
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Posts: 147
From:
Registered: Jun 2013

posted October 08, 2013 11:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for poochycat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Jenny,

Just taking a few moments out on my lunch break to check in with Lindaland. I am sooo sorry to hear that you are still grieving over the lost of your job. You had mentioned in your letter to your boss (glad you did not send it) that no one has ever treated you this way and I remember you saying that you were making friends. If I could get personal for a sec...do you have close friendships? Has a man ever paid a lot of attention to you? Perhaps this is what you are missing and want it back so badly. I suspect you are in your 20's? Your letter was very well composed which showed maturity. Don't worry,Jenny, you will find another position. It's always the darkess before the sun rises. HUGS TO YOU. Know that everyone here at Lindaland supports you!

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jenny415
Knowflake

Posts: 98
From:
Registered: Aug 2013

posted October 10, 2013 03:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jenny415     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks PoochyCat!!! I really appreciate your support..I know i seem crazy for this letter but i don't know what came over me!!! I hope all is well with you! xoxo

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