Author
|
Topic: Can you still be friends with someone even though you're sexually attracted to them ?
|
SilverFeather Knowflake Posts: 1313 From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times Registered: Aug 2012
|
posted December 05, 2013 02:11 PM
My Virgo ex finally got the idea that I'm never going back to him, romantically speaking. However we've always shared an explosive sexual chemistry with one another and I can't deny the fact that ,sexually, I'm still very attracted to him and probably I will always be ( Mars Opposition Mars in Synastry). We are both single at the moment, it has been a month since we broke up. Yesterday we've met and he said he wants me as "want you" in my bed kinda thing. He wants us to remain sexual partners as well as friends however at one condition which is to not sleep with anyone else, only each other until one of us find someone new. I don't know guys. It's just sex, right ?? Would it complicate things if I said yes ? I want him too sexually but should I say it or not ? Can someone pull one card for me regarding this ? Oh by the way, his Mars Conjunct my South Node EXACT. Is that why I want to rip his clothes off every time I see him ? lol IP: Logged |
DaniPepper87 Knowflake Posts: 924 From: Curitiba, Brasil Registered: Sep 2013
|
posted December 05, 2013 02:14 PM
Hellow dear Silver!!In my opinion, it is bad. I'm a sentimental girl, I'd be hurt a lot in your place. But if you are a girl who knows that you want, go ahead!! As you said, both are single, I don't see problems... but, SN conections are not to break the karma? O.o IP: Logged |
SilverFeather Knowflake Posts: 1313 From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times Registered: Aug 2012
|
posted December 05, 2013 02:20 PM
quote: Originally posted by DaniPepper87: Hellow dear Silver!!In my opinion, it is bad. I'm a sentimental girl, I'd be hurt a lot in your place. But if you are a girl who knows that you want, go ahead!! As you said, both are single, I don't see problems... but, SN conections are not to break the karma? O.o
Hi Dani I never had my south Node activated by any past lover before. He's the first to touch it and man, is he irresistible... Can u tell me more Dani about this aspect ? I'm unfamiliar with it. IP: Logged |
DaniPepper87 Knowflake Posts: 924 From: Curitiba, Brasil Registered: Sep 2013
|
posted December 05, 2013 02:28 PM
Hahaha! I wonder this, Silver!!Well, I had my SN activated by my ex, but was his Saturn... In the end he left me. And I always felt him as a teacher energy in my life (even he's 3 years younger). What crazy is this life!! BTW, I see that SN connections are past life karmas that need to be broken. I believe in it. It is the NN that needs to be activated to go forward in this life. In you case, you need to let this guy go, to break the pattern (but please, this is my opinion, don't take it if you don't want ) I wonder how sex is great, but you are both repeating the pattern. And while you both have this kind of relationship (just sex), no one will be avaliable for a real relationship. I know, being absent of sex is a great torture. In my opinion, you better get off this one. IP: Logged |
Astro keen Knowflake Posts: 1136 From: UK Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted December 05, 2013 02:38 PM
You've posed an interesting question Silver. Without consulting cards, I would say that it will create difficulties. Imagine if he was your partner, you would express your love for him and all that it entails whole heartedly. This would include expectations for the present and the future, caring for each other, being friends and lovers, planning things together etc. Now consider the scenario 2 - where you are friends and lovers but not partners. How would that be different from 1? Where would you draw the boundaries? What is allowed and what isn't? If it works out, your natural inclination after a while would be to get back together as partners. So, why did you break up in the first place? I think what you sabotage by a half-hearted relationship is your ability to be truly and whole heartedly loving, without guilt and reservations. What you sabotage is your emotional self. IP: Logged |
SilverFeather Knowflake Posts: 1313 From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times Registered: Aug 2012
|
posted December 05, 2013 02:38 PM
quote: Originally posted by DaniPepper87: Hahaha! I wonder this, Silver!!Well, I had my SN activated by my ex, but was his Saturn... In the end he left me. And I always felt him as a teacher energy in my life (even he's 3 years younger). What crazy is this life!! BTW, I see that SN connections are past life karmas that need to be broken. I believe in it. It is the NN that needs to be activated to go forward in this life. In you case, you need to let this guy go, to break the pattern (but please, this is my opinion, don't take it if you don't want ) I wonder how sex is great, but you are both repeating the pattern. And while you both have this kind of relationship (just sex), no one will be avaliable for a real relationship. I know, being absent of sex is a great torture. In my opinion, you better get off this one.
Thanks Dani for the advice Everything about our relationship seems to be Karmic. His Mars on my South Node, My Saturn on his DESC. His Vertex in my 5th. His Venus on my Chiron and 12th...and so much more. His Moon also aspects my North Node by an exact trine. Do you think that's the reason he seems unable to "move on" ? He is always hovering over my life in one way or another. He is not really in it yet he isn't out of it either. Something keeps throwing him in my way everywhere I go. It's so weird. It's like fate is toying with us. Bringing us to each other and then pulling away. I always felt something "fishy" about our entire union. IP: Logged |
DaniPepper87 Knowflake Posts: 924 From: Curitiba, Brasil Registered: Sep 2013
|
posted December 05, 2013 02:43 PM
Yes Silver! That's what is happening with you. But as for Astro Keen told, you are sabotaging your own. Ask yourself if you want a full relationship or one half that when sexual attraction is over, one another will turn their back and return to the life... No dear, I don't feel right for this..I'm sending positive vibes to you now IP: Logged |
SilverFeather Knowflake Posts: 1313 From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times Registered: Aug 2012
|
posted December 05, 2013 02:51 PM
quote: Originally posted by Astro keen: You've posed an interesting question Silver. Without consulting cards, I would say that it will create difficulties. Imagine if he was your partner, you would express your love for him and all that it entails whole heartedly. This would include expectations for the present and the future, caring for each other, being friends and lovers, planning things together etc. Now consider the scenario 2 - where you are friends and lovers but not partners. How would that be different from 1? Where would you draw the boundaries? What is allowed and what isn't? If it works out, your natural inclination after a while would be to get back together as partners. So, why did you break up in the first place? What you sabotage by a half-hearted relationship is your ability to be truly and whole heartedly loving, without guilt and reservations. What you sabotage is your emotional self.
Thanks Astro This is why I posted the question. I'm reluctant and I'm looking for some insight. Deep down, I know if we continue sleeping together, we will end up together again and I don't want that. I know it will never work out with him. The thing is he is the one who seem to be emotionally attached to me even though he acts all cool and uncaring. He even brought up kids today. He always wanted them ( Leo Moon/ASC) and he said that if he could decide the future mother of his children, it would be me. He thinks I took it as a joke but I can see how serious his eyes were when he said it. I don't understand it, why is so intent on having me as his ?? He can have any other girl he wants, he is very good-looking and popular but no ,he has to want me out of all the girls in the world. I wish I could feel the same for him but for some reason, my heart won't trust him. IP: Logged |
SilverFeather Knowflake Posts: 1313 From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times Registered: Aug 2012
|
posted December 05, 2013 02:53 PM
quote: Originally posted by DaniPepper87: Yes Silver! That's what is happening with you. But as for Astro Keen told, you are sabotaging your own. Ask yourself if you want a full relationship or one half that when sexual attraction is over, one another will turn their back and return to the life... No dear, I don't feel right for this..I'm sending positive vibes to you now
Thank u sweetheart I think it's better for us then to remain friends only, platonic so to speak. IP: Logged |
Astro keen Knowflake Posts: 1136 From: UK Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted December 05, 2013 03:03 PM
Silver, I pulled a Romance Angels card for you out of curiosity - these continue to amaze me. And I got SEPARATION!! Here's the text: The angels are helping you during this period of separation from your partner. This card comes to you as an indication of angelic support as you spend time away from each other. While you're apart, the angels can help you fill your hours with healthy activities which will help your present or future relationships. They can help you discover that deep healing to be mined as you spend time alone which prepares you for the next part of your relationship journey. Good? IP: Logged |
SilverFeather Knowflake Posts: 1313 From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times Registered: Aug 2012
|
posted December 05, 2013 03:12 PM
quote: Originally posted by Astro keen: Silver, I pulled a Romance Angels card for you out of curiosity - these continue to amaze me. And I got SEPARATION!! Here's the text: The angels are helping you during this period of separation from your partner. This card comes to you as an indication of angelic support as you spend time away from each other. While you're apart, the angels can help you fill your hours with healthy activities which will help your present or future relationships. They can help you discover that deep healing to be mined as you spend time alone which prepares you for the next part of your relationship journey. Good?
WOW !! That feels so right and that's what I've been trying to do for the past month after our break-up. Thanks u Astro for the clarification The question that remains, how should I deal with him ? We meet a lot since we both study at the same Uni, same major and I can't just ignore him, we have lots of friends in common. IP: Logged |
Astro keen Knowflake Posts: 1136 From: UK Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted December 05, 2013 03:16 PM
I would imagine a cooling off period would be needed where you would need to minimise contact, while both of you begin to accept the new situation. And then when your feel healed and less anxious, you could gradually return to normal contact. Perhaps your friends could help - involve them and the activities outside class can be shared. This means you go to some and he attends others.IP: Logged |
SilverFeather Knowflake Posts: 1313 From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times Registered: Aug 2012
|
posted December 05, 2013 03:24 PM
quote: Originally posted by Astro keen: I would imagine a cooling off period would be needed where you would need to minimise contact, while both of you begin to accept the new situation. And then when your feel healed and less anxious, you could gradually return to normal contact.
That sounds very logical. I just hope he takes it well because it's very likely that he won't like it. He is the sort who gets rather vocal if he dislikes something. He won't let me hear the end it -_- btw Astro, can I post our synastry and hear your opinion about it ? I don't understand why he keeps holding to me when I've never promised him anything. To me, things are over. To him, it is not so apparently. IP: Logged |
Astro keen Knowflake Posts: 1136 From: UK Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted December 05, 2013 03:27 PM
Silver, I'm no expert. Maybe someone else looking in can help.Edit: Be upfront with him. Tell him if he fails to accept the situation i.e., behave like an adult, you will avoid him as much as possible. He sounds rather like a petulant child who throws a tantrum when he can't get what he wants. IP: Logged |
SilverFeather Knowflake Posts: 1313 From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times Registered: Aug 2012
|
posted December 05, 2013 03:31 PM
quote: Originally posted by Astro keen: Silver, I'm no expert. Maybe someone else looking in can help.
It's okay dear, u don't need to go in-depth. Just your general initial observations. IP: Logged |
Astro keen Knowflake Posts: 1136 From: UK Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted December 05, 2013 03:43 PM
Er.... These things strike me as important:His Sun (is he on the outside?) conjunct your AC. Strong attraction - the Ascendant person looks and expresses herself in a way that is very pleasing to the Sun person. The Sun person finds the Ascendant person beautiful and attractive, (pasted from a site) Your Saturn on his DC Your Chiron conjunct his Venus and Mercury Moon trine Mercury and Venus. OK. now you need to look these up. Try Astro.com IP: Logged |
SilverFeather Knowflake Posts: 1313 From: Mercury sometimes...Jupiter some other times Registered: Aug 2012
|
posted December 05, 2013 03:49 PM
quote: Originally posted by Astro keen: Er.... These things strike me as important:His Sun (is he on the outside?) conjunct your AC. Strong attraction - the Ascendant person looks and expresses herself in a way that is very pleasing to the Sun person. The Sun person finds the Ascendant person beautiful and attractive, (pasted from a site) Your Saturn on his DC Your Chiron conjunct his Venus and Mercury Moon trine Mercury and Venus. OK. now you need to look these up. Try Astro.com
Thanks for trying Astro I will look them up. I believe my Saturn on his DESC is the reason why he always keeps coming back. Saturn being the glue and all..and yes he has a childish side to him but I know he is not a mean person. He will get used to it with time. IP: Logged |
starmoon Knowflake Posts: 946 From: Registered: Sep 2011
|
posted December 05, 2013 08:16 PM
you said you're only 1 month out of the relationship? that is why you're still ok with sleeping with him - it's because he's familiar and safe. 6 months or so after a break up and you won't feel the same. hard to imagine, but true a majority of the time. you can't be 'just friends' when there is sexual attraction b/c someone always wants more (emotions are very hard to separate)IP: Logged |