posted December 14, 2013 07:52 PM            

I'll keep this short because I don't want to make it the focus.
My father collapsed this morning, and long story short he's in a coma. There's no telling if he will make it, or if he will be normal if he does. He wasn't breathing.

What determines how we cope? Or how we release emotions etc.

Example, with this. It was a full 6 hours before I reacted emotionally, at ALL. When it came, even I was surprised. Almost upset about that actually as I didn't want to feel upset. It left almost as quickly as it came, lasting about 15 minutes.
I've always been this way. Sometimes I react very quickly, especially with anger. I should say frustration. Even then though, my first reaction is to escape from the situation. If I cannot, then it comes out.

Now one my sisters, she's also a Leo although I'm 3rd decan and she's 1st decan. She's one of the most emotional people that I know! She breathes and bleeds emotion, I swear. It's EXTREMELY swift and extremely strong. She nearly went into flat out panic with this news, immediately.
Sometimes it makes me wonder, is something wrong with me? Am I not caring enough or something? I don't feel uncaring.

My two sisters and a couple nieces just sprung into action and headed out on the four hour drive to go there. I contemplated going for about 3 hours. I finally decided that I wouldn't. There's nothing that can be done and I can't talk to him. There's plenty of family there already and the thought of being surrounded by a bunch of people who are all upset, and sitting around, just didn't sound like the right thing for me.

Even my one sister, the other Leo, sometimes it's just like, she goes off on whatever emotional blitz she's having and I don't know what to do with it. I'm completely dumbfounded and don't even know what to say. (not just this time, many times)

Anyway, I didn't intend to ramble on with this, and now I have.

Emotions are typically thought of being associated with the moon.
My moon is Gemini in 9th. Does that make sense for this kind of... "coping"?
Or is it simply 12th house planets? (Venus, Mars, Mercury - Virgo) Moon does square Mars, and Mercury in that 12th house.

It's always confused me.

posted December 14, 2013 08:06 PM            

When this happened to my Grandmother, I had the same reaction, I just had a deep, inner knowledge of the best course of action.

I had them put the phone to her ear, and I spoke to her. They said she improved when I did this.

I don't do so well in that type of environment, so that was the best thing I could do in the circumstances.

posted December 15, 2013 03:06 AM            

I haven't heard anything more. I think it's basically the same and they are just observing him for 24 hours. I get a little emotional here and there but no tears except earlier.
It's weird. I feel guilty for not rushing off to go there like other family members did. I have the same hopes and worries, but they rarely throw me into a panic.
I fear that I come across as uncaring. Which is not true. If anyone there said, "I want you to be here with us"... I'm there. I'll leave right now. I'm not upset that they don't. I just picture myself as the rock. It does nothing, but it's there should you need to lean on it.
Sometimes I do wonder about myself. I sometimes feel like maybe something is actually wrong with me.
Maybe I should just tell them. My family is very strange. We basically have this unspoken love. We all know that we care about each other but it never gets said. We are just there when needed, no hesitation.
Maybe that comes through in my relationships too. You know I just put that together this moment.
All of this about me I think gets misunderstood. I assume people see the warm heart underneath - maybe they don't.

Well I'm just rambling on again.
I'm doing good though. All there is to do is wait. Worrying, crying, etc isn't going to help that any.
I know that if this continues, he'd prefer to just take away the supporting equipment and let him go. He was a VERY stubborn man. LOL Even when he would have open heart surgery, of which he's had several. I'd call him and he'd just say, "No. Just stay home. I'll be out of here in a day or so." Or when he had rotor cuff surgery a couple year ago. He never complained once. To him, it was just something that had to be done and dealt with. No big deal.
His 70th birthday was Friday.

Whew.... I'm a chatty guy!

posted December 15, 2013 03:13 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ellynlvx:
Please Keep in Touch.

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posted December 15, 2013 03:44 AM            

You see, you are part of my Tribe, and I care very much for you.

When these Uranus things happen, they can be such a shock to the system that you don't really take it in for a while.

Oh, yeah, Uranus is right there as well.

Venus, Pluto; yeah, right at the Cusp of the Leo Domain.

posted December 15, 2013 06:13 AM            

Drives me insane.

posted December 15, 2013 07:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ellynlvx:
Are you okay?

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Actually, I was just about to come here to add a reply.

Yeah, I'm okay. It's coming out because I've been talking about. I really haven't said much to this point. It's... getting more difficult, but I'm very much okay.
Let me tell you, I can seriously bury some stuff to where I'm not even aware of it.

One of my sisters called me this morning and as it turns out. It seems to be even worse than I thought. I tend to believe that he's gone already. Basically, his entire face is black and blue, swollen, huge knot on his forehead, nose broken such that it's not anywhere near where it should be. Basically, unrecognizable. I may have said already, but he's being chilled to around 32C degrees. The natural response is to shut down other parts of the body to preserve the brain. Here soon, probably tomorrow, they will raise his body temp back up and check for brain function. Not only from the fall, but from not breathing for so long.
His brain is not physically damaged from the fall that they can see though.

It hasn't all quite set in yet, but it's starting to.
On the other hand, that's the cycle of life and that's why it's important not to take for granted the people around you that you care about.
He bought a new house (he had four technically) last year. In October I went and spent a week with him and my step-mother. They enjoyed it so much they kept asking me to stay one more day, so I would. Then one more day. Haha. They would always say to come back, sooner the better and things like that. One of my nieces is the only other person that went there after he bought his new house. One my sisters has expressed regret for not going when she had the chance. Which, he could still come out of this, though it's not looking good. I feel bad for her really. These are the reasons that it's important to do these things. If he doesn't make it, I have that memory. I have that love shared, time spent together... happiness created.
We used to go bass fishing a LOT when I was younger, just me and him out on a boat.

Anyway... I'm rambling again.
I'm okay though!

So, your natal venus, NN, and Pluto are all late Leo? Or on the cusp?
If so, then that means that you are older than I? (from Plutos placement)

posted December 15, 2013 07:20 PM            

I mean no, well sort of.

Uranus is Regulus, North Node Conjuncts. Then early Virgo is Pluto/Venus.

The North Node is actually in the Fourth House, but Conjunct Leo's House Cusp. All the Planets are in the Fifth.

posted December 15, 2013 11:44 PM            

I'm really sorry to hear about your dad....
I will send healing wishes to your dad, and family...
There really isn't a right or wrong way to deal with something like this... When your emotionally ready, you will face it... Do what feels right for you..what your comfortable with, just try not to repress it, let it come out naturally..

Transit. Wise..
You are going through t. Pluto sq natal Pluto..
T. Pluto is in you h4
T. Uranus is adding to it, making it all of a sudden.
So with that it's no surprise your having a hard time with this.. It's hitting your h1, and h4

Also it's your NN return... So I think this is a part of your growth... Since it's h8,h2
Maybe that's dealing with your self esteem, values etc...

posted December 16, 2013 02:00 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Thank you Lioness.

I've subtly expressed this to some of my family and they responded very positively. They've also been extremely loving in making sure that I know what's going on and that everyone in the family is okay.

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That's good...
Family supporting each other is what is most needed during this tough time..,
They and u are the best people to help each person get through it....

posted December 16, 2013 02:04 AM            

Note:
I'm not really emotional either...
My way of handling is dealing with things head on, and deal with it he emotional part later alone...
It usually takes a while for it to actually hit me, probably because I'm in action mode....
When in action mode, no thought is in my head, I just do...
That's fire for you...

posted December 24, 2013 02:23 AM            

Anyway... for whoever. Here is my Dad's natal chart with transits on the day that he died.
The official death is on the 20th, but I say the 14th.
I'm also doing fine by the way. The first two days were pretty hard and now... I'm just like normal. However, I still have the funeral and all and I imagine that may draw out the strongest emotions of all.

Plus, he was a successful business owner and very well liked by the community and all of his employees. He was a real friend to them and they loved him - they really did. Although he certainly didn't hesitate to terminate anyone who didn't meet his standards, not just screw up. LOL If he didn't think that you're cutting it... then you better start looking for another job!

posted December 24, 2013 05:34 AM            

It's completely normal, at least I think so, to deal with your emotions the way that you have been. When things are out of your control all you can do is wait for the outcome and hope for the best while you continue to live your life.

My mother has a Gemini Moon in her 12H and this is very similar to how she took my father passing away. And that was her husband. Don't get me wrong, she was heart-broken, but she didn't let it destroy her.

If you need someone to talk to, it seems like you already have a lot of support both from your family (best support system ever!!) and from other users here, but I wanted to offer my ear and shoulder. Maybe you've already done your releasing of your emotions, but like you said, his funeral is around the corner.. Just remember that in that place, he would want you all to celebrate his life and who better to do that than the people who he loved most? From the sound of it he was a great man!

I hope that you're not judging yourself for the way you reacted. You're already going through enough without doing that. Everyone deals with emotional situations differently, some people react with action, thinking that they HAVE to be involved. That their involvement will somehow be the answer to the problem. Water and fire moons (minus Sag because they've got this realistic streak that it shares with Gemini Moons) I've noticed tend to react this way because they feel so powerfully. While earth and air moons are more likely to internalize their feelings, and think about extreme situations so that they can examine them. It's different examination though. For air moons it's an examination to understand what happened, acknowledge the feelings, and then move on. I've always envied that ability! My stupid Taurus Moon dwells on things. Everything. And that's how a lot of Earth Moons react. There's not really a "let go" button for those with Earth moons. Except maybe Virgo. They're definitely better at it than Taurus or Cap!

And now I'm the rambling one.. sheesh.

I only meant to say I'm sorry and send some love and hugs your way. Oops!

posted December 24, 2013 06:40 AM            

Part of the issue is that a lot of my family is just in devastation. Being pretty okay myself, I just feel a little strange like I should be how they are. I fear that they will see me as if I didn't really love him or something.
But, he was this exact way, despite his Cancer moon. Maybe he just hid it. He was VERY VERY much about, "Life goes on". He never let a death bother him that I saw. (his mother, his wifes parents who were AMAZING)
So how I am reacting is exactly as he would and I truly think people are seeing that. Plus, I can be a pretty good writer when trying to inspire people and I had that opportunity tonight. They loved it.

Some of it is, when I was younger my emotions were just crazy wild. I mean that.. just nuts!! As I got older I have come to hate that. I don't like to feel ANY emotion that I don't feel fully in control of. If I'm going to feel something, I want it to be how strong I allow it, if I allow it. Not being in control of it just drives me nuts. I almost get angry with myself for allowing it to happen.
My dad... nothing got to him. He really took advantage of every day and just kept looking forward. He'd get mad at us when we were teenagers and asked him for money though. LOL
He just wanted us to try though. Once I started offering to pay him back and did... he would start telling me to just give him half. So it was just a lesson being taught.

The only time that he really seemed to get upset is if he hadn't heard from us kids for a while. He would start to worry that we were upset with him. I stayed with him for a week at his new home shorty before this happened. I'm happy that I did. You know? It was a week worth of memories for me. It was a week worth of happiness for him. He kept asking me to stay one more day. I did, and then he'd say to stay one more. I'm glad that I could give him that before this.

Anyway, I don't mind if you're chatty. I'm Gem moon. LOL

Yes, my family can seem a bit strange but I tell you what. When trouble comes they sure pull together! Wow! My sister was asking me the other night that if I felt that I needed to stay at her place, to be with family, that I could. <3
Yet, when I lost my driving license for three months (naughty me.... 103mph in a 55 zone and I was just getting started! 103 was nothing!) I hardly got any calls and even less visits. Just strange.

posted December 25, 2013 03:00 AM            

I'm sorry for your loss,

Deal with it in what ever way your most comfortable with...