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Author Topic:   Synastry b/w my sister who hates me. Please help.
jenny415
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Posts: 302
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Registered: Aug 2013

posted December 30, 2013 12:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jenny415     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My sister has treated me awful all my life- really cruel. I have always tried hard to please her but I am done. Today she went above and beyond, and I don't foresee myself ever being the same towards her. I hope she never has kids. For their sake and the sake of society. Here is our synastry. I don't know how our relationship will turn out but I hope she looks in the mirror one day and sees how awful she is to people. I am on the inside.

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jenny415
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posted December 31, 2013 09:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jenny415     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bum pity please

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AriesLilith
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posted January 01, 2014 05:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AriesLilith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In your own natal chart, you have Moon, the ruler of your 3rd house (house of siblings), in the 3rd house and in Cancer. You are very nurturing and supportive for your sister. Also, you have a stellium in the 6th house, showing that you can be "at the service" for others, helping them. Your Sun in the 6th house is conjunct her Moon, and your Mars is trine her Venus, these can show that you are the lead and support for her, you can be protective towards her.
Then you also have Saturn conjunct her Sun/Uranus, that is on your DC. You are focused on her, you might have admired her free spirit, although at times you also felt that she might not be responsible or is too crazy, and you might have felt the need to control this side of her, call her to be more realistic and responsible.
Also, you might idealize her at times, since your Neptune is conjunct her AC.

But her Pluto is square your Moon, conjunct your Vertex, and her Nessus is right on your IC. She can hurt you emotionally, and be uncaring and selfish towards how you feel.
Your Chiron is on her North Node, so she might have looked up to you for some guidance and advice.
Also, her Saturn is on your 6th house, on your Mercury, your chart ruler, and near your Venus/Pluto. She can also be critical of you, or cold, if she is not mature enough. She might also be critical of you and not seem appreciative of what you do for her or others.
Her Saturn also seem to square your IC/MC axis, so this can also show coldness and criticism towards you, that can strike deeply.
She has 4 planets in your 6th house, which further shows that you might be the one who is often giving the most support and service for her.


All in all, if you really feel that she is being selfish and inconsiderating, then you must not allow nor tolerate any disrespect or selfishness from her. She needs to mature more before you both can have a more balanced relationship, specially if she is still young. Her chart has almost everything in the 9th to 12th house, while her North Node is on 6th, so her lessons are to focus more on others, to understand them, as well as to also be more supportive and altruistic, so she might be a better sister when she becomes more mature.

Also, just another thing. I have a younger brother, and he used to need me when I was the selfish older sister. I didn't know better, and I was selfish and independent so I distanced from him or was mean to him often, and then my parents also didn't know how to guide us to learn how to interact with each other and solve siblings' conflict. Now as we are adults, our relationships are good, but you can say that I regretted many things I did or did not.
With this I just wanted to say that when people are young, they might be too immature and selfish. It's not an excuse for what they do of course, it's not an excuse for your sister not caring for you, but I just wanted to say this so that she might mature as she grow up. Let her know that you are there for her, but that you expect her to respect and care for you too.

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jenny415
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posted January 01, 2014 06:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jenny415     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow, arieslillith!!! Thank you SO much for this it really helps me. She is actually my older sister but to me she is very inmature although from the outside she seems more mature than me on paper- academic accolades, masters in nursing/ is a nurse at hospital, etc. but she is not on a personal front and in relationships. She only wanted to be a nurse for the money and the stability not because she is caring of others. It makes me upset because everyone thinks all nurses are the most caring unselfish people but I don't have a degree in anything, am making minimum wage and every night I nurse homeless people near my apt and feed them and talk to them without getting paid, seen by anybody or writing on a resume. Not trying to toot my horn but she doesn't even look at people who she feels are lower than her. She actually called me crazy the other nigh and said she doesn't talk to crazy peopl- this was after I tried talking to her about a secret I entrusted in her and she told her friends immediately. She yelled at me said **** you and slammed door in my face. Then I texted her and said as an adult, she is 30, she needs to learn how to communicate with others without walking away or slamming doors in people's faces. She always lectures me and so I thought I would finally give her that piece of advice. That is when she said she doesn't talk to crazy peeps and that if I want to have an adult combo
With her to contact a therapist. That one little word "Crazy" hurt me so badly I can't even verbalize. It completely dismissed me as a human being and from now I am not planning on talking to her again. Everyone says forgive and forget but nobody understands everything I have done for her and all of the forgiveness I have shown to her over my lifetime. I will not be there for her the next time she needs somebody to talk to because she did this to herself.

Anyways thanks again. I am ready for this new year and wish you the best!

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AriesLilith
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posted January 02, 2014 05:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for AriesLilith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow, for a 30 years old adult, that was a really childish thing to do! And hurtful and inconsiderate...

Unfortunately, no amount of care from a sister can help if she doesn't grow up... No matter how much you care, you have to stand up for yourself as you don't deserve that kind of treatment. It's good that you have that figured out.
I hope that she will someday realize how lucky she is, to have a caring sister.

Happy New Year for you too!

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jenny415
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posted January 04, 2014 11:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jenny415     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you arieslillith!!! You really helped me understand her better. She has her lessons to learn and she needs to mature for sure but I ain't holding my breath. I live my life she lives hers. I wish you a great new year too!!!

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jenny415
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Posts: 302
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Registered: Aug 2013

posted January 04, 2014 11:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jenny415     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you arieslillith!!! You really helped me understand her better. She has her lessons to learn and she needs to mature for sure but I ain't holding my breath. I live my life she lives hers. I wish you a great new year too!!!

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