Posts: 346
From: neverland:)
Registered: Dec 2011

posted February 06, 2014 09:20 AM            

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This forum has always served as a pillar of strength for me in these three years..so today , when i feel so lost and heartbroken , i couldnt help but write again , here.

three years back , i met and married a man who stayed with me for three months after marriage during which he was just cheating on me ! while i left my medicine career overseas for him to move with him to his country , he never let me sense he was cheating on me. so after three months of marriage , just when i visited my hometown , he declared teh shock of my life that he never intended to stay with me coz he feared i used evil powers and wanted to kill him ( what a stupid sick excuse! ) ... my career was ruined... and so was my life and marriage ! and after two painful years , i got a divorce and decided to move on !

and as i gathered courage , i met another divorced guy who belonged to my city and during our conversations , we got to know we had some common family friends as well . and so , i started trusting him but denied marriage initially . But he went on proposing and finally , i said yes and talked to my family and developed feelings for him . 3 months of longdistance love which went really smooth and in fact , looked perfect , and i discovered that he had told me lie as well . he was just separated from his wife and not divorced yet! i didnt want to be a reason for breaking someone's marriage so decided to move out but he convinced that they had already decided to divorce and were just waiting for the required one year of separation period to be over . 4 months passed , and i started dreaming about our future , our kids and shifting my career and studies to his place and almost made all the arrangements and suddenly he disappeared a week before he had to come and visit me and talk to our parents . a week after , when he appeared , he made an excuse saying his divorce was giving him tough time so he needed time and once divorce is over , we would be together , and that i needed to be by his side and understand his mood swings till then . By chance the same time , my family got a good proposal from a childhood friend and tried to convince me that he was just making me a fool . I called him up to tell him what my family was thinking...he said to trust him , but sadly , from the next day onwards , he disappeared , saying , he was much upset over his personal life. i thought he needed time and was upset over divorce... a month passed in silence and a few days back , someone told me he and his family was in touch with his wife . Now this was a shock to me...not becoz i wanted them to break up...but coz that meant he was cheating on me as well! when i wrote to him that i was gonna clear this mess with him or his family , he replied requesting not to talk to his family or friends about anything. he said he really wished we had met before and that he accepted he had done a mistake... that he was trying to see if things could work between him and his wife .... and that he couldnt forget the fact that i had been married before and had sex with my husband (what the hell? didnt he know it since day one then??) ..he ended with all that crap that u r the nicest girl ... and if my effort to save my marriage dsnt work , i wouldnt marry again so soon and all those usual crap excuses ... i wrote back i wished them both goodluck and had no grudges .
but deep down , i feel so broken today .... i rushed in to my marriage ..but for this guy , i took 3-4 months .....and both the times , i couldnt just realize they were cheating on me !!! what the hell is going on with my life ! i am academically bright , look wise, good .... talented .... make friends easily ... am a good housekeeper , but why the hell i am alone and people cheat on me ? why si the same pattern repeated with me in relationships ???? will it ever get better? ah , need a big hug and reassurance , i feel so broken once again after 3 years ! and this time , i really want to move on as soon as possible ! my first house uranus opposes my seventh house venus (perfect for the divorce) and my seventh house chiron might be the one that leaves me wounded every time .... have a 12th house saturn in scorpion (a soulmate conenction stuff??? ) .... the weird part is , in both my relations , though everythign was going perfect , and there was no reason to feel some bad omen , i had a strange gut feeling that the purpose of the relation had got over and really , it ended soon after i hate this gut feelng of mine (

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posted February 06, 2014 10:38 AM            

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Wow that is heartbreaking to hear... It didn't only happen once, but twice! That is horrible... I don't really know what to say, I hope that things will be nice next time. Even if it's hard, don't let them let you down more than once! You don't deserve to have to put up with someone disappearing for a whole month or so, that guy who said that you had to be on his side with his mood swings was being selfish... It's hard, but it's important to not lower our standards and tolerate what we actually can't, as it is actually a big red flag of what can happen.

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Posts: 346
From: neverland:)
Registered: Dec 2011

posted February 06, 2014 01:31 PM            

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awww Aries!! thank u! that is why i love this forum people are really warm, here . today , he emailed me and accepted that he had done a mistake by hiding the facts....but that hardly matters...i can t let this happen again...ah! i wish it could b a lil easier to trust! and just found my transiting chiron conjuncting IC (opposing MC). thanks for writing..gave me strength! blessings!

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posted February 06, 2014 01:39 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by start6030:
awww Aries!! thank u! that is why i love this forum people are really warm, here . today , he emailed me and accepted that he had done a mistake by hiding the facts....but that hardly matters...i can t let this happen again...ah! i wish it could b a lil easier to trust! and just found my transiting chiron conjuncting IC (opposing MC). thanks for writing..gave me strength! blessings!

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I'm glad that you can move on now! Not only he hid things once, but did it again and even tried to see if things would work out with his wife again... A decent person who truly cares for someone he claims to love would not cheat or lie to his love in this way, which shows selfishness. Care for the other person, as well as a person's own morality and principles reflects on their actions.

But you seem strong, and that is good! I hope that you'll find a guy that truly acknowledges your worth.

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From: neverland:)
Registered: Dec 2011

posted February 07, 2014 04:30 AM            

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thank u Aries! reading it , helped me a lot... mean it! trying to manage ...it's still fresh..so, it hurts...bt reading this really really helped! thnk u ..

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posted February 07, 2014 01:41 PM            

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I'm glad that it helps! It's always hard at the beginning to detach, but remember, every time we let the bad things continue, they are not letting the possible good things to take place, so the longer it goes, the longer we would be kept away from other better possibilities. So it's good that you can find strength.

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From: neverland:)
Registered: Dec 2011

posted February 10, 2014 08:54 AM            

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hugssss Aries ! i tried looking at the positive side of it, today... aww n am better ... thnk u

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