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Author
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Topic: Still Establishing Peace Beyond It [Reading Pls]
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Plutonian_Gal8
Knowflake Posts: 150
From:
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted March 24, 2014 01:42 PM
  
My father has been in mind here and there the past few weeks; very checkered past. I've moved beyond the serious bitterness of the damage done. Curious to know if anyone feels inclined to pull cards on this….
Does my father feel ANY remorse/sorrowful over what he did to me? Anything saying that he'd confess to what he did? It's quite obvious in many occasions in life you have to move on without such apologies, I just want to know does this man feel any guilt or accountability for what transpired many years ago. Pls anyone, I'd appreciate your gesture.
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LostTaurus
Knowflake Posts: 618
From: Conway, AR, USA
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted March 24, 2014 01:54 PM
PG, I'm sorry about what happened to you.I'm getting that he denies it to himself - like it was all something he made up in his own head - at times; then others still, he rationalizes. There's a distinct separateness between him and it. That said, I can feel your emotional pain (even manifesting itself physically sometimes), still. I get the sense that nothing he could ever say or do at this point would make it okay or give you peace because it would always come across as inauthentic. He will likely live with this demon for the rest of his life, I do feel that. This tells me that he'll never acknowledge it (or at least no time soon) to himself, let alone anyone else. You have to find a peace with this inside yourself and know that you were NOT responsible for it in any way at all - not just from an objective standpoint, but from inside your soul, you need to know this. I'm so sorry... Please let me know if you want me to delete this after you've read. (((HUGS))) LT IP: Logged |
Plutonian_Gal8
Knowflake Posts: 150
From:
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted March 24, 2014 02:08 PM
LostTaurus, I thank you so much for taking your time to get what you've received and share it with me. I didn't think I'd cry, but well….No need to delete this at all. Deep down I sensed that I would never get remorse from this. It's a HUGE part of how I am the way I am. But I guess you may know I've been fighting VERY hard with this all my life. Dealing with that kind of wrong really affects women strongly in life. But in recent years I'm slowly getting better and identifying my behaviors in result to what he did. Your encouragement warms my heart; on occasion I break down emotionally like this but by MY choice I have no close female relationships to anyone I can trust with this past hurt. *sigh* It's a sting but again I'm not too surprised, just seeing if spiritually he'd changed and if I needed to initiate communication to receive his possible apology.
Thank you SO much LT  I need to open a separate box for you today once I come down from this, to check up on YOU on a lighter/brighter note. All my love and positive energy XO
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LostTaurus
Knowflake Posts: 618
From: Conway, AR, USA
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted March 24, 2014 02:17 PM
Aww sweet girl...you are beautiful and strong and LOVED! Know it always.IP: Logged |
Plutonian_Gal8
Knowflake Posts: 150
From:
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted March 24, 2014 02:25 PM
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU  quote:
Originally posted by LostTaurus:
Aww sweet girl...you are beautiful and strong and LOVED! Know it always.
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Lindaland
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