posted May 14, 2014 03:30 PM            

I don't want to bore anyone with my long winded family drama but short story short: I do NOT get along with my younger sister. You can cut the tension between us with a knife and it's been like this for years. She's getting married in February in Cancun and my class schedule for grad school came out and my last required course is the same weekend as her wedding. It's only offered every 12 months. I know that if I do attend the wedding I'm going to be miserable because I don't even like her and I'll be missing out on graduating for an entire year; I'd be going to her wedding just appease my parents AKA guilt and manipulation. If I don't go, I'll be starting WW99.

So I'm ______ if I do, _____ if I don't.

I don't know what to do. A big part of me wants to just live my own life and do what's best for me and my future. The other part of me is currently getting knots in my stomach just thinking about the wedding. I'm 34 but I feel like I'm 15 all over again, being told what to do, when to do it and how to do it. The relationship between her and I has always been rocky and unstable.

Ok now I went off topic...
I just feel stuck in this situation. I know I'm going to suffer some backlash from the family but I don't know what else to do. Should I do what's best for me or do what's expected of me?

Any insight, guidance, advice, stories to share, anything will be very much appreciated.

posted May 14, 2014 04:02 PM            

Those cards describe exactly how I'm feeling right now actually. I have knots in my stomach just thinking about it.

I decided to send her an email saying that if she already committed to that specific weekend in February that I would not be able to attend due to my class schedule. Any minute now the bs texts, emails and harassing phone calls will be starting.

posted May 14, 2014 05:01 PM            

I have my last class tonight and then I start up again in the summer at which point I'll be taking 2 classes then another 2 in the fall.

posted May 14, 2014 06:41 PM            

Just thought I'd chime in, I would also say take the class.

This is your education!! If you'd feel like you'd like to make a "peace offering" or "extend an olive branch" so no one feels slighted, you can arrange to do something special wedding wise, before hand. (Bridal shower, etc) if you THINK that may be important or if anyone is going to be up and arms,

posted May 14, 2014 06:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dreamy Fish:

So I'm ______ if I do, _____ if I don't.

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This quote jumped out at me.

Now, for the tarot perspective:

Going to sister's wedding:
3 of cups (celebration) 2 of wands (travel) Page of Pents (being practical, keeping your word) 9 of swords (worrying)-->8 of swords (feeling tied up, tied down, or stuck)

Not going to sisters wedding and taking the class:

10 of swords (feeling bad) ace of wands (a sudden burst of energy, great mental stimulation), page of swords (honest mental application) and 9 of swords (worrying)--->
Queen of Pentacles (successful woman!)

Either way it seems, worrying is an energy that is present (But that is something that of course will pass)! But it looks as if the cards say that while it may be harder for you to not go to the wedding ( in terms of backlash), the end result of you being successful (queen of pents) will outweigh any temporary feelings of "doing the right thing" by going.

posted May 15, 2014 12:22 AM            

This makes me really sad. If you in fact don't attend my wedding, this changes things forever.

The last part sounds like a threat to me, I could be overthinking this. I don't know what else could change other than I feel freer and more at peace when she's not in my life. Sad to say but it's true. I don't have the drama from her but as usual shell run to my parents (well not run then since lives there!) and play the victim. I'm literally the outcast in the family, the black sheep persay. I love both of my parents dearly and I have an older sister who I'm cordial with because I love my nephews. But the other one? I could do without. I feel bad for saying it and thinking it but I've been through hell and back with them. I don't trust either sister but I tolerate one because of my nephews.

How am I expected to be supportive of someone who isn't of me? I'm training for the Chicago marathon and it's a big deal to me because I'm running for a domestic violence charity so I have to raise funds and to date I've received 0 support, either financial or emotional, from her. She's the type of person that expects the entire world to drop everything for her and when you don't, you're a you know what. I guess I just answered my own question regarding attending the wedding.

My future, my education, my life is worth more to me, it means much more to me, I need to prove that to myself and I am by registering for that class. I'm ready for the mental games they'll play, the guilt, manipulation, cold shoulders, the 'you disappoint me' conversation with my father. I sometimes wish they could be supportive of me for once, be proud of the fact that I'm doing all that I can to better my future. As I mentioned earlier, either way I'm going to get some backlash but in the end it'll be worth it when I'm handed that degree from a prestigious university that I myself am paying for with every cent I've saved.

posted May 15, 2014 01:52 AM            

You emailed your sister, how about emailing the program? See if you can do the correspondence online? Or see with them if they can help you...

posted May 15, 2014 02:00 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by St@r2013:

You emailed your sister, how about emailing the program? See if you can do the correspondence online? Or see with them if they can help you...

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posted May 15, 2014 12:02 PM            

I think going to the wedding would just make me resentful because I gave up something for someone who wouldn't do the same for me. Why do I know this? If history has taught me anything it's that it's bound to happen again. Nothing but disappointments from family. I haven't received any 'nasty' calls/texts yet but that's bound to change.

Sorry to sound so negative here but it's hard truth.

I don't know if anyone here if received their reading from Madisun, whom was mentioned several pages ago! I asked her about the relationship with my sisters, if it would ever improve and let me say this, her words still haunt me. If she read anything right about my situation it was about my family. People don't change that easily. I can either decide to continue being the scapegoat or I can change things about my life to better myself and if they happen to follow along, awesome; if not, I'm sure they'll find another victim in the family!

And peacefulclouds, awesome comment!