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Author Topic:   repeating paterns...and this one i cant figure out..exchange?
luckystar25
Knowflake

Posts: 301
From: boston mass
Registered: Jan 2014

posted May 25, 2014 03:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for luckystar25     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Keep repeating the same pattern with guys....like either talking without a title or otherwise..iv noticed its a pattern and it must be some type of mindset that i have but cant figure out..what is it?

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littlecloud
Moderator

Posts: 3022
From:
Registered: Nov 2010

posted May 25, 2014 03:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for littlecloud     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
As in insisting on a relationship?

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luckystar25
Knowflake

Posts: 301
From: boston mass
Registered: Jan 2014

posted May 25, 2014 03:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for luckystar25     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by littlecloud:
As in insisting on a relationship?

I guess..i dont even insist so i dont look like im clingy, mayb thats my problem,im not a *****

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luckystar25
Knowflake

Posts: 301
From: boston mass
Registered: Jan 2014

posted May 25, 2014 03:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for luckystar25     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think i might come off as too indepentant..how can i change that..especially in my current situation

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littlecloud
Moderator

Posts: 3022
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Registered: Nov 2010

posted May 25, 2014 04:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for littlecloud     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think that is your problem. Telling someone what you want is not being a b!ch . Expecting a relationship early on is clingy, but if you truly want to try things out with someone then I think you should let them know. Relationships are scary, for both parties. There's vulnerability there and no one likes feeling vulnerable.

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MinceyMouse
Knowflake

Posts: 840
From: Ingerland
Registered: Jan 2014

posted May 25, 2014 04:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MinceyMouse     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Images I get when asking about the pattern in relationships:

A wall- a really smooth one.
A broken rope
A peach
An eye.

You have a wall up, mainly due to past experiences where you've been on the losing end (the rope). Everything seems peachy when you get into the relationship, but when you look at it closer, there are cracks

Something is up on the horizon (I literally got the image of a horizon, sunset with mountains) - but you'll have to learn how to keep the wall down. The symbolism of mountains means that it's going to be a struggle with your inherent nature. It's like lightning trying to strike the wall here. It will happen, but only when you have met someone who understands and gets you.

Hope this helps- I'm going on this intuitively, so any feedback would be welcomed.

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luckystar25
Knowflake

Posts: 301
From: boston mass
Registered: Jan 2014

posted May 25, 2014 04:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for luckystar25     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by littlecloud:
I think that is your problem. Telling someone what you want is not being a b!ch . Expecting a relationship early on is clingy, but if you truly want to try things out with someone then I think you should let them know. Relationships are scary, for both parties. There's vulnerability there and no one likes feeling vulnerable.

I Am so afraid of being vulnerable..its been awhile with the current one, and i guess i am afraid to really tell him what i want and how i feel

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Springtimeflower
Knowflake

Posts: 273
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2014

posted May 25, 2014 02:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Springtimeflower     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Lucky,

I've dated off and on for over 30 years and the guy I bumped into earlier this year cares more about people than any of the others I had met in the past. We haven't spent time together yet, though, but I now see that the others were only dress rehearsals.

About a week ago, I saw one guy that I dated over 15 years ago. He was trailing his wife in the store. I met her at the gym a few years ago and before he introduced us he asked me why I didn't call him back. Two reasons: you take your work home (talked to him and competed with the computer--got tired of it) and you're not exactly a Susie homemaker (to the extreme, borderline unsanitary). He told me that his wife nags him about both of those things. I don't nag. He's only maybe four years older than me, but he looked much older and hadn't had a haircut in a while either--didn't look kept. He was usually good at keeping his hair cut. Seeing him only helped to reinforce that I had made good decisions while dating others. We never argued or had any problems, but I couldn't live the way he did.

Hope this helps. Have a good day,
Spring

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