Posts: 567
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted May 25, 2014 11:26 AM            

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So I've been talking to this new guy off and on for a few weeks. He seems nice but I'm not entirely sure of his intentions. He wanted to meet like 2 weeks ago but I couldn't that night. When I suggested another night he said ok then ignored me the rest of the week and we never met. Since then I've been texting him off and on to say hi, try to make small talk. He's been somewhat cold, half the time not even answering me back. My last attempt to communicate was this past Friday, I asked if he wanted to try to meet up over the long weekend. He said he was going away and when I asked where he said he was busy working and couldn't talk. I didnt answer back because I didnt want to further bother him.

So my question is, am I right, is he just a jerk? Will we actually meet up or should I just let this one go? Any insight anyone can give me would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to continue to try to reach out if he doesn't want me to. Oh, and his first initial is L

Thank you again!

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Posts: 2345
From: chicago, il
Registered: Mar 2012

posted May 25, 2014 11:37 AM            

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U need to move on. He's not all that into u, sorry

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Posts: 2345
From: chicago, il
Registered: Mar 2012

posted May 25, 2014 11:39 AM            

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how did you even meet this guy?

I feel like there's a joke or bet involved with this.. .?

Hmm... not trusting me energy party...be careful with them, they seem like jerks

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Posts: 567
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted May 25, 2014 11:42 AM            

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We met on an on line dating site. He approached me. We had talked a few months ago but it just never went anywhere. He then popped up again back in April. Something about him I wasn't crazy about and I'm in no way upset over this. Just wasn't sure if it was worth it to try and see if he really wanted to meet. If I never hear from him again I won't be crying over it lol.

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Posts: 1515
From:
Registered: Dec 2011

posted May 25, 2014 11:43 AM            

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Sounds like he might be talking to another girl.

I pulled 3 cards for you Wheel of fortune, The chariot, The star. All reversed. A distant hope(star) that probably won't go anywhere(chariot).

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Posts: 567
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted May 25, 2014 11:50 AM            

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Thanks for looking. I just wanted to be sure. Will he even contact me again at this point?

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Posts: 1515
From:
Registered: Dec 2011

posted May 25, 2014 11:52 AM            

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I pulled 3 more cards regarding if he will contact you again- Chariot, The emperor R, and Temperance. Maybe but he will have moved on. If he does contact you, it might because he needs you to inflate his ego(Reversed emperor).

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Posts: 2345
From: chicago, il
Registered: Mar 2012

posted May 25, 2014 12:02 PM            

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I swear I'm so sick of guys not just mine too, but everybody else's guys too!

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Posts: 567
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted May 25, 2014 12:10 PM            

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I'm sick of guys too! I truly think he got annoyed when I said I couldn't meet him the night he wanted to meet. I'm pretty sure he was looking for a booty call. Men complain about women being temperamental but I think it's the other way around. I did honestly try to make a go of this but clearly he and I are on different pages. Nothing surprises me anymore with how people behave.

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Posts: 567
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted May 25, 2014 12:51 PM            

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Thanks so much Cherful and Birdy for taking a look!

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Posts: 1858
From: NJ, USA
Registered: Feb 2014

posted May 25, 2014 01:48 PM            

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Letter + Stork + Scythe

I feel when you hear from him, his attitude will change completely. My inkling is that it won't be for the right reasons, though. Be receptive, but keep your cards close to your vest.

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Leo ♌️ Sun, (2nd House), Venus (3nd House)
Scorpio ♏ Moon,Mars,Saturn (5th House)
Cancer ♋ Rising
Svātī Nakshatra

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Posts: 567
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted May 25, 2014 02:47 PM            

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Thanks LP. It will be interesting to see if he does respond. I did end up texting him a little while ago with just a "how is your weekend going?" No answer so we'll see. I won't try again I just feel stupid. But I will certainly update if he responds. I have the worst luck in men and I attract the worst/weird ones! Lol.

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Posts: 1366
From:
Registered: Nov 2012

posted May 25, 2014 04:37 PM            

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What I learnt from everything the past few years is that a guy really will make the extra effort n go the extra mile when they are into u enough n wanna see u enough. U won't have to initiate so much nor is it a good idea to msg them again after they've ignored u. It is a huge turn off in their eyes. Cut ur losses, don't bother even if he does msg u.

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Posts: 339
From: somewhere in south and the east
Registered: Jan 2014

posted May 25, 2014 04:44 PM            

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Hi Fairy, is this a pattern in your most relationships? I ask because I feel like you're more of a 'chaser', which is often taken advantage of by most men. Most men like to chase, so if you give way too much attention they will lose interest. It sucks but it's what it is. (not all men though.)

I think it's good to just leave him alone, texting him more will just make him feel like he's indispensable by you, so he wont even make more effort. Cutting off contact will create a better result- as long as you don't initiate anything for a long, long while.

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Posts: 567
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted May 25, 2014 04:48 PM            

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Yeah I'm done with the texting. Not unless he responds. I think this time around it was equal at first with the texting. He texted me, I answered. I texted him, he answered. And he certainly initiated things in the beginning. However, once he wasn't getting his way I think he started to cool off. But I'm definitely NOT chasing anyone anymore like I've done in the past. If he wants me he knows how to find me

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Posts: 339
From: somewhere in south and the east
Registered: Jan 2014

posted May 25, 2014 04:50 PM            

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yeah, try finding someone else, you went on a date with him, you can find someone else that is more respectful. Online dating can be a drag, some people are using it as a catalogue and don't even see the person they meet as, well, a person. But not everyone is like that Good luck

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Posts: 567
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted May 25, 2014 04:54 PM            

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We haven't been out yet. Been trying to meet up but it always seems to fall through. When he wanted to meet up I couldn't. When I asked he couldn't. So maybe it's a sign from the universe. I've been doing the on line thing for awhile now. Not very well but it is a good way to meet people. I just seem to keep attracting the wrong ones.

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Posts: 1366
From:
Registered: Nov 2012

posted May 25, 2014 04:56 PM            

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Not unless he texts me? So do u mean if he texts u back in the very near future you'll reply?

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Posts: 567
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted May 25, 2014 04:59 PM            

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I probably would, depending on the circumstances. I mean if its within a reasonable amount of time. If its a few days from now I would answer him and see what's up. If its like a month from now then no I wouldn't. I've decided not to be anyone's second choice anymore.

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Posts: 339
From: somewhere in south and the east
Registered: Jan 2014

posted May 25, 2014 05:01 PM            

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My advice for the texting thing:

If you want to reply, go ahead, but just to reply. Try to not initiate anymore or even inquire further. This is you setting a boundary- that his action is not OK. If he's worth anything, he would realise it but if not, well there you go

Trust me, men who are respectful wont make you guess this much.

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Posts: 1366
From:
Registered: Nov 2012

posted May 25, 2014 05:03 PM            

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I wouldn't if I were u. Replying back takes seconds, and u did say he didn't even reply half the time...He obviously isn't that interested and u really don't want to give him an ego boost right? U haven't met him yet, time to venture out to greener pastures lol. U show ppl how to treat u. I've been the guy in this situation quite a few times... I looked down on them tbh.

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Posts: 567
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted May 25, 2014 05:05 PM            

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I agree with you Peaceful. We had mutually agreed we wanted to meet in the beginning. If he replies and asks to meet ill see how I feel about it before I decide. I don't see this as a great love potential. But I did think it couldn't hurt to meet up and see. You never know how the people you meet will affect your life. So I was willing to at least try and see where it went.

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Posts: 1858
From: NJ, USA
Registered: Feb 2014

posted May 25, 2014 05:56 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by FairyDust75:
I agree with you Peaceful. We had mutually agreed we wanted to meet in the beginning. If he replies and asks to meet ill see how I feel about it before I decide. I don't see this as a great love potential. But I did think it couldn't hurt to meet up and see. You never know how the people you meet will affect your life. So I was willing to at least try and see where it went.

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Don't let the people on this forum drive you crazy Everybody is pushing their dating rules agenda this weekend. Must've been that Moon Jupiter Saturn trine thingy that just past. Everybody thinks the woman is some fragile sitting duck that is about to get eaten by the alligator. If you have time to give to the situation, make your own judgment. I entertain less than perfect relationships when I'm bored or have time to waste. Sometimes I'm willing to wipe the slate clean. Doesn't make me a "bigger person". Doesn't make me a sucker.

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Leo ♌️ Sun, (2nd House), Venus (3nd House)
Scorpio ♏ Moon,Mars,Saturn (5th House)
Cancer ♋ Rising
Svātī Nakshatra

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Posts: 1515
From:
Registered: Dec 2011

posted May 25, 2014 05:58 PM            

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Loaded-

One of the worst things women do is listen to other women sometimes...lol we end up lost in advice.

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Posts: 339
From: somewhere in south and the east
Registered: Jan 2014

posted May 25, 2014 06:05 PM            

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it wasnt pushing a dating rule per se- since fairydust wrote she had been having bad luck/attracting similar type guys, I figure she could try something new a.k.a try defining boundaries for once. there are many ways of course but this is one of the ways, especially since the guy is new so why not try & experiment

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