posted July 12, 2014 06:44 PM            

I've been lurking on the forum for a little over a year now. Howdy all.

I was hoping someone would be kind enough to do a reading for me. I have a friend that I've known for several years now. I feel a weird connection with him that I've thought was love in the past but it just doesn't seem to fit. This could be my inexperience speaking but although I do feel a very deep love for him, I can't really classify it as something only romantic. However, the relationship isn't as easy or open as it should be. He has shown some interest in me in the distant past and said several times that I'm one of his closest friends, but he keeps running hot and cold. I've considered the option of expressing my feelings and taking it from there, but the only reason I've not done it is because I'm not sure of my own feelings and I dont want to lose his friendship. I sometimes feel like I'm not getting anything out if the association, and that hanging around him is driving me nuts, but at other times I feel like a lot of the only moments of true peace I've known are while we were just talking about things. So my question is should I cut my losses, tell him how I feel and get the hell out of there, or should I hold on? An overview/advice about the situation as it stands? And how he feels about the whole friendship? Am I seeing something that isnt even there? He has been very hurt in the past and I wasn't there for him and now he's heavily dependent on drugs and alcohol and womanizing(?) I suppose but there are frequent flashes of the nice guy I first met. Of course I could just be making excuses for him, but my thoughts about the entire situation are so muddled and stressed that I just dont know anymore. Sometimes I feel like I never knew him, and yet I knew him the best. So if you guys could please help me out because i don't want to waste anymore time and i dont want to let go of a good thing.

i suppose i should mention there are several synchronicities in our lives in terms of our birth dates, where and when we lived, we even had the same name for a while after he was born until his parents renamed him, etc. on one of our first meetings he played my dead fathers favourite song that i haven't heard of anyone else except my sister and i (and my mom and dad ofc) knowing. :/

i would love to do a reading in exchange but i'm just starting out so they might not be so accurate.