posted July 17, 2014 08:56 AM            

For some reason.. in my bed I was feeling something feeling on my neck and my boyfriend was right beside me, I couldn't move my physical body but my astral body was certainly moving while I was trying to make my real body up, I tried to wake my boyfriend up but he couldn't see me and his face was pitch black at times! I thought it was because I was only paying attention to his physical body so I concentrated on his aura and I saw it, it was this really pretty sea blue color...
anyways, it wasn't a dream for it was the same surroundings and felt real but just.. astrally... with some physical..

why is this happening to me? and what was the intent of that spirit and why did it do that to me? << those are my questions

posted July 17, 2014 09:12 AM            

2 of swords - Temperance - Ace of wands

I think after a period of closing your heart and pretty much not wanting to feel or see (2 of swords), you are healing.
Your heart chakra is opening up slowly; let us not forget the Moon and water on the 2 of swords picture, it reminds us of the Highpriestess, though in this case a rather blocked one.

However with Temperance there you are healing these blocks slowly but surely
It is one of the "heart chakra-cards".

What follows after the opening up and healing has been done, is the Ace of Wands. a Rebirth, new sparks, either creatively or in terms of passion.

posted July 17, 2014 09:22 AM            

I really wonder what it represents.

Ha funny, I wondered how would the people on LL would react to my thread and I got 2 OF SWORDS, 3 OF PENTACLES, and then THE SUN.

posted July 17, 2014 09:47 AM            

HEKATE: 8.01 Virgo
LILITH: 6.38 Virgo
ISHTAR: 8.21 Pisces

lol

Also trine my Venus-Isis-Osiris from 6-8 Cap; opp/ conj Ceres on 9 Pisces, Pholus on 6 Pisces, Horus on 8 Pisces and squaring Mars-ASC-Angel-Atlantis-Neptune-Node from 5-10 Sag

And I will not hide this but Lucifer is involved as well on 6 Taurus. lol Right on my Part of marriage and asteroid actor in 5th house.

Aso interesting that you mention the Black Moon and Solar Return.
In this year I have in the Solar Return true ML conjunct ASC on 21 Cancer exact (conj. SR Jupiter on 17 Cancer in 12th)

This is even more interesting as natally I have:
Vertex and EROS both on 21 Cancer
Sun/Moon-mp on 21 Capricorn

I am quite Lilithian this year I suppose, oh and these 21 Cancer are in my 8th house.
SR Jupiter actually conjuncts my natal Saturn and both trine my natal Juno.

posted July 17, 2014 09:48 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by KarkaQueen:
. I think my psychic powers are getting stronger!

---

posted July 17, 2014 10:30 AM            

In my Solar return I also have Hekate-NN-Mars, showing transformation and transcending the consciousness and unconsciousness by bonding them together and exploring the shadow side.

Could that be why you had that guy? Or did you meet him before? You could be looking real femme fatale these days.

Vertex-Eros is a beautiful placement, I have Vertex-North Node and I forgot to tell you that Eros-Ishtar-Hekate was conjunct my Midheaven

Pluto is in my 10th house too, and my MC is in Scorpio. Very erotic indeed!

My Sun/Moon mp is Gemini 19'37 which is opposite Nessus exact.

I have Sun conjunct Apollo and conjunct Wisdom EXACT too.. I also have Moon conjunct Nefertiti and my draconic Kleoptra is on my Tropical Sun Exact.. alongside with Venus-Valentine in the 5th

posted July 17, 2014 10:55 AM            

"Could that be why you had that guy? Or did you meet him before? You could be looking real femme fatale these days. "
Well, I am looking better than ever. But that probably deoesn`t mean that much, as I had been so overweight before. lol

But we actually met a few years before (2008), though I then disappeared for 2 years, showed up again in 2010, was sure he wouldnīt even remember me.
But when I met him on the stairs of the tavern he was smiling so friendly at me and saying `Hello`with that tone as if he was realy happy to see me that i wasn`t so sure.
Of course I refused to believe this might be true, then I disappeared again.
In 2011 showing up at several occasions, including one open air and his solo concert a few weeks later. On that occasion he came to me during the shows, searching for a victim to participate in some silly game, and I was totally not-interested, hoping he would just ignore me. Well he didn`t, though he was VERY aware I wouldn`t be part of his game, but he HAD to point it out, right? He HAD to make me speak into that damned microphone to tell the whole audience I was REALLY not interested in that game (would have involved eating chocolate, and well I was so massively overweight at that time - NO FREAKING WAY!)
He managed to totally shake me through this night though. He would also sing some songs from standing right beside me, with his hand on the arm of my chair. Yes, I noticed.

Anyway I saw him again on New Years eve, another concert, and things went really, well I don`t know, it always had been vague, but I just had the paranoia back then he was ignoring me on purpose. Even though was he even ignoring me back then?
Was it maybe just me thinking he did?
Cause I remember clearly the way our eyes locked, when he was putting some stuff together on stage after the concert and I was leaving.
But by then I ahd been so convinced, well life was harsh for him as well.
His girlfriend of that time, well she was scheduled to come to that concert, but had apparently told him she wouldnīt JUST in the intermission. And even before during that solo concert (she was there as well), things seemed really off between them. Well I thought I was just seeing things, and delusional and all the stuff, and he would not remember me anyway, blablabla. And besides I was, well I had been passing the concerthall the afternoon before cause it was the only way to get to the city, and his parents were standing there on top of the stairs, and I felt like his mother was x-raying me. I mean it I felt like my heart was being weighed and evaluated, you know like Osiris does in th Egyptian underworld. I have no freaking clue why she wold stare at me like that, and I felt more than uncomfortable and awkward.
Anyway so I was convinced he was ignoring me, not noticing me whatever (even though that moment before I left? A CLASSIC, there was even a SOUNDTRACK playing to it, as there was a cd running and it was playing "Hollywood Hills", the refrain, what a freaky coincidence).

But I was too certain that I was delusional and decided to disappear again. I managed to do so for almost 9 months this time.
What I did not know was that during that time he broke up with his girlfriend (the one before actually), and well, he was writing a song starting with: "Why didn`t you talk to me?" (clearly about a girl/ woman who had him all confused, partly because she seemed to always "disappear without a trace"!)
Maybe I was not the inspiration to it, but it just felt so personal, when I heard it for the first time.

But anyway, since I was thinking I was being delusional...

Later in 2012 I was seeing him in another small venue concert, and that night he managed to show up just in my proximity all the time. Actually he usually does, but I suppose even the dozens time is a coincidence, right?
Man I actually BELIEVED That crap I was telling myself!

Never mind, so then a few more occasions and this time he probably REALLY ignored me, or maybe really forgot about me or whatzever.
By that time last year he had his new girlfriend, too.

Well, for some reason or another, I was approaching him last november after a show. The thing is I thought it was just too silly. I was at that backstage thingy and had been talking to so many strangers, probbably half of the actors there, except for him. And of course had been nervous cause he managed to get to stand exactly in my back again. Well he was leaning at a bar and holding court for his female admirers and me and some other women were standing maybe 1-2 metres away from it at a table.
And yet we managed to ignore each other.
And then when he was preparing to leave I just thought that this had gone far enough, in terms of silly games, so I pretty much prepared to leave as well, just wanting to congratulate him on the show.
Well when I got to the hall, he was talking to someone else, so I was pondering what to do. I was getting my coat and slowly buttoning it up, I remember I had never be fore so focused on buttoning my coat up, well and then I almost had changed my mind, and the exit seemed so tempting and I was almost on the verge of leaving, when he stood before me. I hadnīt even seen or heard him approach. No clue, but probably it was obvious I was waiting for him. We were just exchanging a few words, and then I left.
It even back then struck me again first of all how his voice always gets very soft when he is talking to me, and how close he stands. I mean we are practically strangers, but one step forward, and I would have had to hug him, or we would have both fallen to the ground. lol

Yeah well, but then I learned about his girlfriend, and other stuff, and just I donīt know learned to somehow deal with it, telling myself I had been dreaming it all u p anyway, with all the vagueness and so on.

And then these incidences last months happened. LOL
So I suppose I might have left some impact, even though I was very stubborn in denying this for the last years.

This is also why I feel that our interaction MUST change. It cannot go on like this. Yes, he hasa girlfriend, I get this, but as it seems we are going to cross paths again (because I love his shows and his energy and pretty much about him. lol), so we have to find a way to communicate like adults. lol
Maybe it is just me who has to learn it.

but so this is an ongoing story somehow, but it feels like it has been speeding up, probably we are headed for a huge collison. lol

"I have Sun conjunct Apollo and conjunct Wisdom EXACT too.."
That is a great one, it provides clarity of thought.

" I also have Moon conjunct Nefertiti and my draconic Kleoptra is on my Tropical Sun Exact.."
Interesting.
I have Nofretete on my Sun exact, Ubasit (Bastet) on my Moon, Kleopatra is near my sun as well but a little wide.
Draco Hekate and Lilith are conjunct my tropical Sun btw. oh and Sekhmet, Circe, Reiki, Caesar and Robinhood on my Sun, too. Oh and Tesla. lol

posted July 17, 2014 11:32 AM            

Is he a famous singer? so u can be the girlfriend of a rich AND hot dude! j/k

posted July 17, 2014 11:39 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by KarkaQueen:
Very interesting and a beautiful story Ceridwen. Is he your Twinflame?

---

You know what is strange?
I would never have said or even thought that.

But your question surprised me, and with surprising question, I sometimes can hear the answer from somewhere deep inside, BEFORE my mind is rationalizing it away.

This time the answer to that question was: Yes, he is.

lol

Well anyway, no he is not a big name or totally famous; I mean he is a little known in the musical-and - theatre-circle in Germany, but then again probably just locally. Or as he put it himself: 200 metres away from the theatre, no person recognizes me anymore.

Synastry is a little exhausting. Probably not what you would expect.

posted July 17, 2014 12:01 PM            

Oh you mentioned losing weight several times, I have been losing weight too. 20 pounds from when I was 13 actually.

May I ask what that Mars symbol with the Sun sign in the middle is? It looks like the equivalent of the Venus-Moon Lilith symbol.

Oh my god!! You have Neptune conjunct ASC like I do, but thst's not the awesome part. When I saw your pic I said u felt very Neptunian/Piscean.

posted July 17, 2014 12:10 PM            

Well I have lost almost 50 kilos since the 21st november 2012.
But of course to be able to lose 50 kilos and still being considered overweighed/ voluptuous you can just imagine how obese I was.

"May I ask what that Mars symbol with the Sun sign in the middle is? It looks like the equivalent of the Venus-Moon Lilith symbol."
In Scorpio?
That is Uranus (I think the German symbol for it).

"Oh my god!! You have Neptune conjunct ASC like I do, but thst's not the awesome part. When I saw your pic I said u felt very Neptunian/Piscean. "
Yes, I remember that.

Also with the reading you did yesterday, I was wondering if that Princess of cups, his inspiration, was that his girlfriend or me? Well you never know. lol

However even though I am so heavily SAgittarius/Capricorn/Aqua influenced I consider myself deeply Neptunian as well.
You can`t really hide that Neptune on ASC and in my case it is conjunct Mars and NN as well, plus in mutal reception and square to chartruler Jupiter.
And Jupiter, ruling my whole chart along with Sun, Mercury, Mars, NN, being in Pisces.
It might be the only Pisces planet but he holds the reins.

posted July 18, 2014 05:43 AM            

The Princess of Cups does seem like you, I notice you move from being a Cups to a Swords female, I think something like the Queen of Swords would perfectly fit you -- Air/Water mixture!

Which court card do I seem like to you?

______________________

Ceridwen, your MOON is in AQUARIUS showing that it is peregrine and that you rationalize a lot of your emotions and dislike affection or at least do not get attached to people intimately for a long time. Your VENUS is in CAPRICORN which is also peregrine, however in the 1st and your MOON is in the 2nd. You do long for emotional security and a blanket but you do not how to get it, I think you would prefer the method of intellectualizing the thought and finding a partner who instead wants to cuddle you physically but cuddles you with their words and intelligence if that makes since.
The MOON and VENUS is important in a female's chart, showing how she expresses her yin in comparison to her yang -- thus how society/cultural influences reacts to her and how she reacts and develops around them.

MARS is in the ASCENDANT in SAGITTARIUS conjunct NEPTUNE while SUN is in SAGITTARIUS conjunct MERCURY showing that you prefer to express the qualities of yang and that you may have had a hard time finding dates or men who could handle your highly intelligent mind. Your passions and fervor is directed to your psychic work, and also writing and communication.

For him his MOON is conjunct his SUN in SAGITTARIUS showing heightened interest in females who express the qualities of the feminine and masculine perfectly and who are proud of it.
His VENUS is in CAPRICORN and MARS is in VIRGO showing a prudence with sexual life and romance and closely examining the aspects before going in, a discriminatory person when it comes to relationships at least with the person's character and not there looks.
__________________________

The synastry

I notice you have PSYCHE conjunct PSYCHE which is a very Piscean, ethereal energy and yin-yin which shows heightened psychic senses and impulsive understanding of each other's soul's complexities and fantasies.
EROS-CERES-JUPITER shows that you have an important expression to nurture others and he eroticses this effect and makes it electrified.. so therefore you want to nurture him through sexual transformation and he longs for it.

Sun-Moon-Mercury-Sun
Extreme telepathetic energies activated here, high simulation and interesting discussions.

Overall, it looks pretty good and I can see where the attraction comes from especially with the Sun conjunct Sun!!

Moon-Venus in the 12th house shows the yin energies of the relationship pushed deep in the subconscious of the relationship and its hard to unlock, except for you because you know NEPTUNE RISING> lol

He's Uranus in the composite and your the SUN
Uranus-MC , showing fame and leading the relationship to the public light, the obviously more dominate and powerful one
Eros-IC, so this is a comfortable feeling of easily being sexual with each other even if you don't know each other too well at the moment.

posted July 18, 2014 06:53 AM            

"he Princess of Cups does seem like you, I notice you move from being a Cups to a Swords female,"

Actually it is the other way round. Moving from a defensive Queen of swords to something else.
There is a bit of Princess of Cups within me, but interestingly at my best moments, even a tint of Queen of Wands, which surprised me. I am trying to let her come out more often though. and of course she is tempered quite a bit.

But Queen of Swords, well hopefully I have left her in the past for good now. She didn`t do me any good, not really.

"Which court card do I seem like to you?"
Princess of Pentacles mixed with Princess of Cups (though the cup one is still a little underneath, andit seems you are letting her out more now, opening up)

http://www.eyeofhorus.biz/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Page-Pentacles.jpg

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pWkgR7RWUns/Uc5yiy562KI/AAAAAAAACvI/hJU6yB8CLbU/s1414/IMG_0003.jpg

"Ceridwen, your MOON is in AQUARIUS showing that it is peregrine and that you rationalize a lot of your emotions and dislike affection or at least do not get attached to people intimately for a long time."

I understand why you would think that. Sane astrological deduction. Just I might be a bit different than what you think about an Aqua-Moon. While it is true, I tend to rationalize a lot and analyze alot, my feelings and emotional attachment reaches extremely deep. And once attached to someone, there is no way to detach again.

" a partner who instead wants to cuddle you physically but cuddles you with their words and intelligence if that makes since."
Well, I like intelligence and words and wit, but I need physical touch. I wasn`t really aware of that for some years though, but I think I really like to cuddle. I just wouldnīt admit it before. lol

"you prefer to express the qualities of yang and that you may have had a hard time finding dates or men who could handle your highly intelligent mind. Your passions and fervor is directed to your psychic work, and also writing and communication."
Yes, that is very true.

I think my Venus in earth signs is not to be underestimated, and earth needs to sense and feel someone physically. I did underestimate it myself, but from observation it is interesting how all earthsigns (in terms of Venus at least) are highly tactile, though discriminatory and usually also controlled.

"EROS-CERES-JUPITER shows that you have an important expression to nurture others and he eroticses this effect and makes it electrified.. so therefore you want to nurture him through sexual transformation and he longs for it."
That sounds really nice.

"Sun-Moon-Mercury-Sun
Extreme telepathetic energies activated here, high simulation and interesting discussions."
Well the first time I met him I asked him for his birthtime, cause I was interested in his horoscope.
Believe me I am usually not doing things like that!
Amazing thing is he actually called his parents to ask, in the middle of the night!

"Moon-Venus in the 12th house shows the yin energies of the relationship pushed deep in the subconscious of the relationship and its hard to unlock, except for you because you know NEPTUNE RISING> lol"
And he has Pisces-ASC.

Anyway yes, the emotional-romantic aspect, I used to not look at it so closely. In fact always reduced the chemistry to "hormones" or "something instinctual", but at a certain point I had to admit that I sort of cared, even though it also scared me that I did.

Well my natal Saturn opposes composite Venus exactly, whily composite Moon falls onto my Antivertex and Sun/Moon-mp, and his n Venus.

"He's Uranus in the composite and your the SUN"
Hmm, no, well maybe, but the composite is the chart of the relationship, and so I donīt give the ASC to the older person or man, and the DESC to the other.
Yes, I know some do it - though I have only seen it done with the Davison- but let`s just say we disagree on this one.

the ruler of ASC on the MC is a vital one of course, and showing that this is a relationship that will get a bit of attention or very visible or just in the public eye yes.

"Eros-IC, so this is a comfortable feeling of easily being sexual with each other even if you don't know each other too well at the moment."
Not sure about sexually, but yes, I feel very comfortable with his physicality and the physical chemistry that is there. That Eros-IC is also conjunct Priapus, and all of it in taurus, falling into my natal 5th house. lol