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Author
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Topic: He's back...and relentless. (Reading request)
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happyaskings
Knowflake Posts: 836
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted July 17, 2014 10:27 PM
  
I'm going to try to make this long story short: the only guy I've ever been in love with disappeared one day, no warning just up and left moved states never heard from him again. It broke my heart, I was a mess for months. Life goes on, I moved on things have been going really well and he came back. After a year of absolutely no contact. I was IN LOVE with this guy at one point and by the time he came back I wasn't but there were still feelings there so I gave him another chance. I realized that maybe the way I saw him back then and who he actually is are two different people and that actually he's pretty much just like every other jerk I've ever slept with. Things got busy for me and I just stopped talking to him, in spite of my Scorp moon this was NOT done in revenge, I've just been very busy with school and work and the fact that he's similar to all the other scummy guys made me not care if I talked to him or not. I stopped talking to him nearly two months ago and he is STILL contacting me at least once a week sometimes more...I am starting to feel a bit guilty because I know how it felt to be left in the dark like that but also because he is practically begging me to talk to him. Part of me thinks I should at least explain to him why I don't want to talk anymore but the other part of me knows that this is most likely a control thing for him and he just wants to feel like he was the one who "left" and I'm really not interested in giving jerks anymore satisfaction.Is there anything genuine here or am I right about his intent? I just want to verify. I feel confused about what to do. IP: Logged |
sweet-scorpion
Moderator Posts: 1719
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted July 18, 2014 01:25 AM
So sorry to see you are suffering with this emotional turmoil right now.   Astrology aside, when people abandon others and flake out, they are most of the time being very inconsiderate to the other's emotional needs. It is NOT okay and never will be okay in my book. What he did sounds absolutely terrible and I feel deeply for you... that is just not right. Is he a narcissist or a sociopath? He sounds like it to me. I can see him contacting you in order to toy with your heart. I get the dark feeling that he is manipulating your affections for him from that time when you fell in love with him... You are not at fault here. You have nothing to explain or feel guilty about. In fact, him making you feel inappropriate guilt is another red flag for his apparent sociopathy. The only reason he is probably contacting you is for his own selfish gains or twisted purpose...and I am scared for you. I don't want you to be hurt again. If you'd like, I can read your synastry with him. Put Nessus and Dejanira in too, please, since these are the abuse asteroids. In the mean time, let me know if he has any of these traits, out of curiosity. I get a sense that he has NO conscience at all. I starred what popped out at me based off your post and my intuition. Here is a list of questions that you may ask to identify any sociopath: **Does that person hurt you constantly, show no guilt and make you feel that it's your fault?
**Does he/she constantly make you feel guilty and sorry for him ?
**Does he/she lie with ease?
Does he/she take money and other stuff from you and avoid returning the same?
Does he/she emotionally blackmail you regularly?
**Do his/her moods change rapidly?
Is he/she extraordinarily violent and cruel to people or animals?
**Does he/she think so highly of himself/herself, that it borders on megalomania?
****Does he/she resort to any degree of unethical and immoral acts to win or get, what he/she wants?
**Do you often feel manipulated, used, back stabbed and feel betrayed by this person?
**Do you find his/her behavior extremely hypocritical?
Has he/she had an extremely abusive and violent childhood?
Does he/she show sexual promiscuity?
**Does he/she have no friends?
Does he/she take sadistic pleasure in hurting people or seeing people suffer? IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 7500
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted July 18, 2014 01:32 AM
I don't feel it's as intense... I think he feels lonely and feels bad that he left you hanging and is trying to make it up to you, but he doesn't realize you're also a different person now. I got 5 of cups 2 of cups and knight of wands. IP: Logged |
Jessica2407
Moderator Posts: 4934
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted July 18, 2014 02:46 AM
I pulled a few cards for you Happyaskings.Ace of pentacles - 5 of cups - page of pentacles. I think the balance between you two has changed, you have changed and things are different for him.I think he is a little bit self centered, may be a tad manipulative emotionally,trying to make you feel bad. I think he misses the old you or feel bad about how things were before and how different you are now. I don't know about his intentions per se, I think he wants to re-establish that sort of control he used to have over you.
IP: Logged |
sweet-scorpion
Moderator Posts: 1719
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted July 18, 2014 03:10 AM
It might not be as intense as full blown sociopathy but I get this really BAD feeling about the whole thing and his character. I immediately thought anti-social PD spectrum because of how easily he left like no one meant anythjng at all to him... I just sense he has no conscience about using people. I worry for you. If he left once without any qualms or guilt he might do the same again and you deserve better. IP: Logged |
Twirl
Knowflake Posts: 3981
From: Europe
Registered: Mar 2013
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posted July 18, 2014 03:27 AM
You can always hear him out just 1 time. It gives him the chance to tell his story & may create closure on both sides. Keeping him out does not change the issue, it seems to lengthen it. Regardless of this guy not being good for you & a relationship would be very unwise simply cause you deserve much better. Blocking him does not make it go away & it's most likely fear (& still loving him in a way) that you want to keep him out. If it's crystal clear to yourself that you want this episode ended with, that's the energy you will give off to him. And just expect to feel off balance when you do hear him out cause there's obviously still something & it didn't have a clear ending. That's advice without the cards. With the cards is says that too. There's still so much confusion to the situation. The focus should be on you & guarding yourself, yet hear him out & that let it be. He won't take an easy brush of, but you can stand your ground & just don't trust all he will say, but see it as closure for you. This guy is not stable (duh) & most likely uses and/or has used substances as well. Good luck! IP: Logged |
Twirl
Knowflake Posts: 3981
From: Europe
Registered: Mar 2013
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posted July 18, 2014 03:30 AM
DpIP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 7500
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted July 18, 2014 03:31 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Twirl:
You can always hear him out just 1 time. It gives him the chance to tell his story & may create closure on both sides. Keeping him out does not change the issue, it seems to lengthen it. Regardless of this guy not being good for you & a relationship would be very unwise simply cause you deserve much better. Blocking him does not make it go away & it's most likely fear (& still loving him in a way) that you want to keep him out. If it's crystal clear to yourself that you want this episode ended with, that's the energy you will give off to him. And just expect to feel off balance when you do hear him out cause there's obviously still something & it didn't have a clear ending. That's advice without the cards. With the cards is says that too. There's still so much confusion to the situation. The focus should be on you & guarding yourself, yet hear him out & that let it be. He won't take an easy brush of, but you can stand your ground & just don't trust all he will say, but see it as closure for you. This guy is not stable (duh) & most likely uses and/or has used substances as well. Good luck!
IP: Logged |
happyaskings
Knowflake Posts: 836
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted July 20, 2014 12:00 AM
@sweet-scorpion: Its so strange, I've never actually pegged him as a sociopath but you stating it actually makes a lot of sense! I have dated one other guy before that I am 90% sure was sociopathic and these two have a lot of similarities! I really do feel like his behavior is just twisted and has nothing to do with genuine feelings for me. I think the best thing to do is block him but I am having trouble shaking him even though I've (mostly) moved on. I don't actually have birth times which is why I didn't post our synastry because I think it would not be as accurate IP: Logged |
happyaskings
Knowflake Posts: 836
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted July 20, 2014 12:01 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
I don't feel it's as intense... I think he feels lonely and feels bad that he left you hanging and is trying to make it up to you, but he doesn't realize you're also a different person now. I got 5 of cups 2 of cups and knight of wands.
Thanks hanna! It's been a while since I got a reading from you but last time he actually came up in a reading a long time ago..you ended up being right!
IP: Logged |
happyaskings
Knowflake Posts: 836
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted July 20, 2014 12:03 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Jessica2407:
I pulled a few cards for you Happyaskings.Ace of pentacles - 5 of cups - page of pentacles. I think the balance between you two has changed, you have changed and things are different for him.I think he is a little bit self centered, may be a tad manipulative emotionally,trying to make you feel bad. I think he misses the old you or feel bad about how things were before and how different you are now. I don't know about his intentions per se, I think he wants to re-establish that sort of control he used to have over you.
Thank you, Jessica! I think you nailed it and I agree with you on him wanting to reestablish control him...I think thats what it's always been about to him. IP: Logged |
happyaskings
Knowflake Posts: 836
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted July 20, 2014 12:04 AM
quote:
Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
It might not be as intense as full blown sociopathy but I get this really BAD feeling about the whole thing and his character. I immediately thought anti-social PD spectrum because of how easily he left like no one meant anythjng at all to him... I just sense he has no conscience about using people. I worry for you. If he left once without any qualms or guilt he might do the same again and you deserve better.
IP: Logged |
happyaskings
Knowflake Posts: 836
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted July 20, 2014 12:07 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Twirl:
You can always hear him out just 1 time. It gives him the chance to tell his story & may create closure on both sides. Keeping him out does not change the issue, it seems to lengthen it. Regardless of this guy not being good for you & a relationship would be very unwise simply cause you deserve much better. Blocking him does not make it go away & it's most likely fear (& still loving him in a way) that you want to keep him out. If it's crystal clear to yourself that you want this episode ended with, that's the energy you will give off to him. And just expect to feel off balance when you do hear him out cause there's obviously still something & it didn't have a clear ending. That's advice without the cards. With the cards is says that too. There's still so much confusion to the situation. The focus should be on you & guarding yourself, yet hear him out & that let it be. He won't take an easy brush of, but you can stand your ground & just don't trust all he will say, but see it as closure for you. This guy is not stable (duh) & most likely uses and/or has used substances as well. Good luck!
Thank you for your advice Twirl! He definitely has a reliance on alcohol. I think you're right that it might be a good idea to clear the air, I'm just not really sure what to say that this point but the fact that it bothers me like this means that I need closure on this in some way too. If I do end up talking to him it will be about ME and not about him. IP: Logged |
sweet-scorpion
Moderator Posts: 1719
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted July 20, 2014 11:48 AM
quote:
Originally posted by happyaskings:
@sweet-scorpion: Its so strange, I've never actually pegged him as a sociopath but you stating it actually makes a lot of sense! I have dated one other guy before that I am 90% sure was sociopathic and these two have a lot of similarities! I really do feel like his behavior is just twisted and has nothing to do with genuine feelings for me. I think the best thing to do is block him but I am having trouble shaking him even though I've (mostly) moved on. I don't actually have birth times which is why I didn't post our synastry because I think it would not be as accurate
I am sorry to hear you've been going through all this. I'm glad what I said made sense and you could see some truth in it... as I said, intuitively I just get a really bad feeling about his character and his true intentions. I have a sense that he doesn't experience guilt like a normal human being. I would stay far, far away. Don't even worry about posting the synastry... it's not that important in this case anyway. It's important that you psychically protect yourself from his influence since he seems like a guiltless user. IP: Logged |
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