posted October 19, 2014 02:42 PM            

I have 2 questions : -What does Carl (my boyfriend) feel about me after this situation?

posted October 19, 2014 03:07 PM            

Are you ok?

Honestly, I would stay the f away from the other guy. Did he physically harm you? If so, I would seriously consider pressing charges on him if you think there is enough evidence.

posted October 19, 2014 03:22 PM            

Go today. Trust me. Take a friend that you trust with you. Heck ask your bf if he'll go with you. Ask someone. But just go.

posted October 19, 2014 03:24 PM            

Hope you are ok...this kind of people makes me angry...How long did you know him?

I think you have to talk to your bf and your family about it. You need them right now.

Bella is wright press charges. Think about it if this guy fallows you after work... things can get ugly....

posted October 19, 2014 03:55 PM            

If he knows we're you work he may harass you there. If you don't press charges you're essentially telling him he can get away with what he did. So now he'll see you as weak prey and come back again.

posted October 19, 2014 04:10 PM            

Well i'll read anyways-

quote:

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What does Carl (my boyfriend) feel about me after this situation?

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He is supportive to you for sure. He'll stand with you no matter what, just pour out everything honestly to him.

quote:

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What does T feel about me? Why did he do what he did to me last night? He said that he regrets nothing and it makes me very angry.

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He's a basta#d. As you already mentioned he's just trying to take advantage of his power and yes he in some way wants to interfere with your relationship with your guy but true he is just too f#$ked up in his head to have any feelings for you. But yes, if you're bound to be around this guy for professional reasons know one thing, he sure well know that you're too vulnerable to act which may lead him to pursue you only for physical reasons.

The best part is your guy is with you in all this, but get a clarity of head if you don't end up taking a strong step against this 'T' the relation with you guy might also be messed up. Take a very firm decision whatever it it.

I'm truly shattered to read this…Love your way..

posted October 19, 2014 04:47 PM            

Now I am really upset. If you are at work right now, please make sure your bf or a friend can escort you out of work if you think he is going to stop by.

That guy is a worthless pos and deserves to be in jail. Traumatic situations make it really hard to take action, but please understand the reason he does stuff like that is because he threatens and overpowers people- this is never okay! I know it is scary, but not only will you receive justice for what happened, but also for women across the world who are silenced by sexual harassment and rape.

Edit: My mind is blown that is there is no "rape" charge in Canada, but is under sexual assault. You were definitely a victim of a sexual attack, I think these are the correct laws.

Sexual attack: During the past 12 months, has anyone forced you or attempted to force you into any unwanted sexual activity, by threatening you, holding you down or hurting you in some way?

Unwanted sexual touching: During the past 12 months, has anyone ever touched you against your will in any sexual way? By this I mean anything from unwanted touching or grabbing, to kissing or fondling.

posted October 21, 2014 01:37 AM            

-With my boyfriend: I met him at the bar after my shift. He was VERY ANGRY AND UPSET with me, he walked out, I chased him in the cold at night. He screamed at me, he wanted to hit something. He didn't understand what I was doing at this guy's place...He said that it was my fault, that I put myself in this situation, that I could have stopped it, that I could have said no, that instead of seeing that guy I could have been seeing him that night.

He hurt me ALOT, it was a side of him that I have never seen before, I was crying and all he could think of was how I 'cheated' on him, how I lied to him because I didn't tell him that I got raped initially.

His words really hurt and it took me a lot of courage to speak up and tell anyone around me what happened. I expected him to be understanding and to tell me everything would be ok but all he did was scream at me and all I wished was for him to take me in his arms and hug me.

Ugh it was horrible.

But we went home, and made up. I guess it's because he is very jealous and possessive and he loves me alot. He also wants me to stop being so naive, he tells me that guys don't want to be just friends with girls. He also never faced this type of situation.

In the end, we are working through our issues...He calmed down now...He is urging me to report it to the police and he tells me that if I don't do it, he will personally go to T's place and start a fire or beat him up and it scares me because I know that my boyfriend is capable of doing crazy things (he has done some in the past).

posted October 21, 2014 01:47 AM            

He said that all of this was my fault, that I was 'such a tease' (I WAS NOT. All I did was talk, I was in my uniform clothes, I had no intention on teasing him since I'm in a relationship). He said that he would wait for me after my shift outside.

I then had enough and called him and told him to stay as far away from me. He told me that I have issues and that I'm crazy.

posted October 21, 2014 01:57 AM            

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE contact the police. This guy sounds unhinged and needs to be checked. It is only a matter of time before he tries to not only rape you again, but harm another innocent woman.

Texting with threats is HARASSMENT. Showing up to your work uninvited and trying to converse with you is HARASSMENT. Go to the police- you have enough evidence. This guy is a PIECE OF SH.IT, and needs to be taken to task. "Being a tease" is never an excuse to try and rape someone.

Your boyfriend: SUCKS TOO. Sorry. That was such a wrong response- blaming the victim. Instead of comforting you or trying to calm you down, he goes ballistic and puts the blame on you. If he is more concerned about being cheated on and being lied to, it is not worth it. Being jealous and possessive is not an excuse, that is not what you do when you love someone.

You see a pattern here? You attract controlling men with anger/jealousy issues. A real man wouldn't have reacted like that. I don't care if he was upset at the time, this is writing on the wall. You need to report this because both of these men have a crazy button and the last thing needed is a homicide.

posted October 21, 2014 02:01 AM            

She was listening VERY CLOSELY to T and I's convo. She was also observing our body language. She immediately felt that something was off and she demanded that I go in her office to talk.

She has been working at the store for 4 years and warned me that T is not a good guy, that there were certain things that happened in the past, certain rumors have been going on about T.

She told me that I am not obligated to report it, that it is MY personal choice. I am in a state of shock right now, and I do get pressured to report it to the police, but do I feel like relieving every single moment, telling my story every single time, having T's lawyer accusing me of telling lies?

Do I feel like taking time out of work and school ( I am graduating this december)? No , I don't.

I haven't told my mother yet, but I am sure that she will find out once I report it to the police. She will also get so mad at me, because I go out at night sometimes and she will tell me I told you so, you're in a lot of trouble.

Anyways...I need time to relax.

posted October 21, 2014 02:04 AM            

Thousands of women are silenced by rape and rape attempts. You can break the cycle. It is scary, overwhelming, and frustrating, but you can break the cycle and send the message that sexual harassment is never okay.

You really do need time for yourself, but I urge you by not taking action so you are giving T the ability to attack you again (he wants to, you realize that).

posted October 21, 2014 02:05 AM            

This article was interesting to me.

"In some ways, it feels like a Catch-22 -- if we don't report sexual assault, no one realizes how extensive the problem is and nothing changes; if we do report sexual assault, we are disbelieved and mocked and shamed and interrogated and blamed. And nothing changes"

It's true, the social worker I talked to did say that sadly, a very small percentage of rapists get into jail.

posted October 21, 2014 10:35 PM            

Yes, there's a good chance that the whole process will get dragged out, but you know what? This is actually a good thing. Firstly and most importantly it gives you time to go to a counselor, or to women's meetings and get the support you need. Secondly, it creates a record for T. Think of it as establishing business complaints, eventually he'll go out of business whether from your or someone else. Your text messages are proof, your boss with the social work background is an eye-witness and can vouch for you.