posted October 30, 2014 09:18 PM            

I am annoyed because I am 20, he is my first bf and I have waited for SO LONG to have one. I'm finally happy and she wants me to break it off.

Can someone please do a reading? Should I break up with C?
How will the relationship between me & my mom will be if I continue to be with C?

posted October 31, 2014 01:28 PM            

The other thing is have you talked to her about this?
YES! And she is urging me to break up with him before it's 'too late' and I fall pregnant. It's impossible to have a conversation with her because all she does is scream, starts crying and how I owe her life and by me dating a 'bad guy' I am disrespecting her. She says "All I want you to be with is with a good guy". I understand it, I will eventually find a good one but hell, this is my first boyfriend. you are bound to learn lessons and date the toads before prince charming.

She gives me advice, I listen. However, I am not FORCED to take it.

I am more worried about the other thing that happened recently- are things okay?
Yes, he left me alone. I confronted him, he got the message and is no longer bothering me. I did not tell my mother, she freaked out when she found out I had a boyfriend, raged at me and kicked me out of the house...Imagine if I told her what happened with that other incident.

posted October 31, 2014 02:24 PM            

can I give you some advice? you can take it or leave it, but I feel for you because I also come from a very religious household.

I think your mother is very scared right now, because her worldview dictates that these choices you're making will damage you and ruin your life. what she doesn't see is that you're doing normal things for your age, and if you make mistakes you will learn from them and it will make you all the better. but in her mind it's way more extreme and dark.

the best thing you can do right now is to trust your own judgment, learn how to get past any kind of self-deception about this guy. sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not. maybe he is a bad boy, maybe he isn't, but it's your life and you should be able to find out for yourself. maybe he's a mistake, maybe he's the best thing to ever happen to you. I can't make that call.

if it were me, I'd probably keep seeing the guy but try to say some things that would calm my mom long enough to get her out of my business. you have a right to privacy, and if you can try to keep the guy away from your mom as much as you can. I'm not a big fan of lying in general, but with certain people who are very convicted about how you live your life, and also trying to control your life, it helps to give them at least the illusion that you're living the way they want you to.

so what does that mean? tell her that he's interested in converting, that you guys are going to fight the urge to have sex, but that you think deep down he's a kind person...or something like that?

posted October 31, 2014 02:26 PM            

don't ever risk it by crossing your fingers and hoping