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Author Topic:   not caring if i live another day. is it in my chart?
sunnybunny
Knowflake

Posts: 211
From: tellico plains,usa
Registered: Oct 2014

posted November 21, 2014 05:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sunnybunny     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i am not planning on suicide, but if i didn't wake up tomorrow, i really wouldn't care.
i see so little hope.
i'm going through a divorce.
i really hate my life.
i worry about these feelings cause suicide runs in my family.
nothing anyone says to comfort me or encourage me seems to help, it only makes me angrier.
is not wanting to live in my chart?
is a long life in my chart?
i've heard a taurus moon is an indicator of longevity and good health. ICK !

click for my chart:

http://s50.photobucket.com/user/Missi_Johnson/media/sunnybunny_zps5e3c10f9.jpg.html?o=3


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thequeen
Knowflake

Posts: 789
From: Belgium
Registered: Sep 2014

posted November 21, 2014 06:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for thequeen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Tough days are hard to pass, but they do. There is always light at the end of tunnel. Saturn transiting first house makes you feel this but trust me, nothing lasts forever not even our worries. Just it's hard to see the light when you're in dark, but be hopeful. It needs the end of one chapter to begin a new

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athenegoddess
Knowflake

Posts: 3323
From:
Registered: Aug 2011

posted November 21, 2014 06:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for athenegoddess     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
you should just let any pain go. if people hurt you forgive them and move on. sounds easier said than done i know but it just makes your life worse to seek revenge.

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sunnybunny
Knowflake

Posts: 211
From: tellico plains,usa
Registered: Oct 2014

posted November 21, 2014 06:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sunnybunny     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
thank you queen, for the reading, i didn't realize saturn transiting my first house could cause this feeling.
only thing is, my first house starts with sagittarius, right?
and saturn is in scorpio right now, so what you're saying is it's gonna get much worse as saturn conjuncts my ascendant?

saturn is a slow moving planet, which means this could go on for years, so that sucks.

lol

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peacefulclouds
Knowflake

Posts: 708
From: somewhere in south and the east
Registered: Jan 2014

posted November 21, 2014 11:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for peacefulclouds     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In vedic astrology transiting saturn could last 7 and half years, called sade saati. It covers the zodiac before and after your sun sign. Transit in each sun signs lasts about 2.5 years, in which the heaviest trial would be when it transits in your sun sign.

However, my sun sign in vedic is libra, not pisces apparently lol. But it checked out, 7 and half years ago is when my life started to become ruin, a separation that drove me mad, and around 2 years ago i committed a failed act of suicide because i failed in getting something that i have been working on for 7 years career wise.

The next 2.5 years after that event my family relation crashed and burned, my 'lovelife' was turned upside down aka things i have felt before seemed very insignificant (i have been single for 5 yrs now) i met people i never felt anything like before, almost lost my home but also on the upside, surviving through it really put everything on the upswing, both career and lovelife and also social status.

Now it's the last stage of sade saati for me, and i can already see the trials for the next 2.5 yrs. However this time i am more prepared and have learned from previous trials.

But through it all, i also learned that death feels insignificant for me, if i die today, i would not regret it. I also learned the world owes me NOTHING, and being angry at it did nit change the fact my life was was heading towards destruction. So i took control of what i can and just focus on that (which is why i minimized relations with ppl- you cant control others)

So dont worry if you feel numb, and i wont sugarcoat my words- it is going to get tougher, but whatever happens will make you discover and face things about yourself, for better or for worse. Good luck.

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sunnybunny
Knowflake

Posts: 211
From: tellico plains,usa
Registered: Oct 2014

posted November 22, 2014 12:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sunnybunny     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
thanks peaceful clouds, now i'm thinking even more i should take up bulimia again - i hear it can cause cardiac arrest. maby that's my "out" :-) have a great day hon.

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peacefulclouds
Knowflake

Posts: 708
From: somewhere in south and the east
Registered: Jan 2014

posted November 22, 2014 01:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for peacefulclouds     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Is that a passive aggressive threat?
let life take its course day by day, prolonged suicide is still a suicide.

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peacefulclouds
Knowflake

Posts: 708
From: somewhere in south and the east
Registered: Jan 2014

posted November 22, 2014 01:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for peacefulclouds     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Don't punish others when you are the one asking for a reading, and that was not an advice that i wrote, it was an example of what might happen. It could very well go way easier on you, who knows?

But honestly, looking at your chart, you care too much about your own life to take it 'out' for no reason. Well, maybe to spite people is a good enough reason but then you wouldn't live to see them suffer, which seems for you is unfortunate!

Good day and good luck with your life.

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sunnybunny
Knowflake

Posts: 211
From: tellico plains,usa
Registered: Oct 2014

posted November 22, 2014 01:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sunnybunny     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
thanks peaceful clouds, what in my chart indicates this? just curious.... is there an aspect that shows this? i will be glad to exchange with you. i do tarot, just leave your question.

RE: But honestly, looking at your chart, you care too much about your own life to take it 'out' for no reason. Well, maybe to spite people is a good enough reason but then you wouldn't live to see them suffer, which seems for you is unfortunate!

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sunnybunny
Knowflake

Posts: 211
From: tellico plains,usa
Registered: Oct 2014

posted November 22, 2014 04:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sunnybunny     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
well, just as i feared, i woke up today.

depressing.

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athenegoddess
Knowflake

Posts: 3323
From:
Registered: Aug 2011

posted November 22, 2014 05:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for athenegoddess     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm sorry you feel that way.

did you know 1 in 5 children don't know where their next meal is going to come from? there is plenty to be grateful for in your life.

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sunnybunny
Knowflake

Posts: 211
From: tellico plains,usa
Registered: Oct 2014

posted November 23, 2014 12:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sunnybunny     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
athene goddess, thanks for your input but thanks to the way my x left me, there's no food in the house, so i don't have food to be grateful for right now either. have a good day hon.

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St@r2013
Knowflake

Posts: 1425
From:
Registered: Jun 2013

posted November 23, 2014 02:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for St@r2013     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It sounds like a depression and that's not something you should just leave. You need to talk to a professional.

We all have bad days and sadness but when it comes to daily thing where you don't care whether you live or not... then it's time to talk to a professional and get some help.

Please at least call a help line.

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thequeen
Knowflake

Posts: 789
From: Belgium
Registered: Sep 2014

posted November 23, 2014 02:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for thequeen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by St@r2013:
It sounds like a depression and that's not something you should just leave. You need to talk to a professional.

We all have bad days and sadness but when it comes to daily thing where you don't care whether you live or not... then it's time to talk to a professional and get some help.

Please at least call a help line.


I agree .. You need professional counselling. At least some close person you can talk to.

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BellaFenice
Knowflake

Posts: 1864
From: Pseudo-Leo with a 1st House Stellium
Registered: Sep 2013

posted November 23, 2014 06:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BellaFenice     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am in the same position you are, which obviously most people know here. Please consider getting help, or at the very least having someone to talk to. I am getting help (kind of) and am working on fighting these feelings and building myself up.

It is definitely hard at times to keep on fighting, but you have to remember that we are worth the battle, and no battle lasts forever. While I may not know the pain and devastation of divorce, I am familiar with the feelings of hopelessness.

Just take it one day at time and remember you are worth it.


I will politely ask when giving people advice in this situation to not marginalize their feelings by saying "oh at least you don't have this..." statements. Depression arises from not addressing feelings, and telling them to "get over it" because someone else has it worse is a terrible thing. Pain is pain regardless of what it is, and should be respected at all times.

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athenegoddess
Knowflake

Posts: 3323
From:
Registered: Aug 2011

posted November 23, 2014 06:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for athenegoddess     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
well, it helps to realize that your pain isn't much compared to being starving in south africa or right here in the USA.

my birth chart is so hard and i know a lot about pain. but the point is there is much worse out there that could happen to us then worrying about being seen as pretty and that nobody likes us.

its quite superficial and selfish if you ask me. instead of worrying about these things, go and help a child who is hurting. stop living for yourself and live for others who have less than you because there is always going to be someone who does.

ll leave it at that.

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BellaFenice
Knowflake

Posts: 1864
From: Pseudo-Leo with a 1st House Stellium
Registered: Sep 2013

posted November 23, 2014 06:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BellaFenice     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by athenegoddess:
well, it helps to realize that your pain isn't much compared to being starving in south africa or right here in the USA.

my birth chart is so hard and i know a lot about pain. but the point is there is much worse out there that could happen to us then worrying about being seen as pretty and that nobody likes us.

its quite superficial and selfish if you ask me.

ll leave it at that.



That is really nasty of you to throw my struggles in my face. Thank you for proving my point. No shi.t there are people who have it worse, but that isn't the point. What do my struggles have to do with the situation here? That is such a petty and callous thing to do.

Your lack of empathy is really disgusting. She came here for support and advice, not to be told that to get over it. Stop marginalizing people's feelings, have you ever struggled with depression?

And for the record, I actually volunteer all of the time. When you are severely depressed, people need support and not criticism.

I almost killed myself last week and this is the response I get. F.uck you is probably the nicest thing I can say in response. If you really knew about pain you would have some sense of empathy for those who experience it.

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athenegoddess
Knowflake

Posts: 3323
From:
Registered: Aug 2011

posted November 23, 2014 06:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for athenegoddess     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bella if thats your struggle, you are a lot more blessed than most.

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libran_dream
Knowflake

Posts: 582
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted November 23, 2014 07:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for libran_dream     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sunny, you just had a Saturn transit over your Neptune. That one can manifest as a deep hopelessness. The good news is, it's passing already. It is moving toward your AC though. A cycle is about to close for you, and a new one is about to begin. You will be learning how to take better responsibility for yourself, this is the lesson that this transit is preparing you for. Your faith will be cleared of many delusions, and your world view will become more rational and grounded. If there were any responsibilities, mostly to yourself, that you were happy to ignore so far, the time is coming when this will change. You're heading to a more mature, responsible you, to being someone who is proud to be dependable. This is the lesson that is being brought to you right now, this is what you're meant to master. Think of what was going on in your life around December 1985. This time in your life will bring about a closing of the cycle of whatever was happening then.

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sunnybunny
Knowflake

Posts: 211
From: tellico plains,usa
Registered: Oct 2014

posted November 24, 2014 12:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sunnybunny     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
thanks everybody. love you

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thequeen
Knowflake

Posts: 789
From: Belgium
Registered: Sep 2014

posted November 24, 2014 12:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for thequeen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Just a one second prayer 'God bless you' does it all. But i know people can't step back from judging other's, just for one simple reason - 'They are not walking in the other's shoe.'

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callarosa
Knowflake

Posts: 33
From:
Registered: Jun 2014

posted November 25, 2014 08:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for callarosa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
athenegoddess, pain is not a competition. It doesn't matter who is in the most pain. What matters is that people are hurting and they need love and compassion. Marginalizing someone's pain by telling them,"Hey, it could be worse!" doesn't make their pain go away. It's one of the least helpful and least compassionate things you can say to someone. Please remember this. A lack of empathy for others is one of the worst traits to possess. And if you're truly unable to display empathy for others, silence is preferable over actively dismissing others' suffering.

To those reading this thread who are in pain, I'm so sorry. I know what it feels like to be empty and feel like there's no happiness in your future, and nothing to live for. You're not alone. If you are depressed and debating suicide, please talk to your doctor. Unfortunately, there's a lot of stigma and misunderstanding about depression in our society, but no matter what anyone else tells you, depression is not something to be ashamed of. Admitting to yourself that you need help and actively working on healing is brave. And if your path requires you to work with a therapist or your doctor to get better, that is also brave. I say this from experience. I waited too long to get help because I was afraid of the social stigma surrounding depression, and it's one of my biggest regrets.

Rediscovering small things that bring you joy can help the healing process. It's easy to get lost in the haze of depression and lose your sense of motivation and joy, and forget to take care of yourself. For instance, set aside time to do things that make you happy, like reading, watching movies or your favourite television series, writing, drawing, exercising, cooking, ect. It also helps to make small, achievable goals to complete to increase your motivation, like reading a chapter of your book every day, or taking a 30 minute walk.

Also, be mindful that harbouring anger and bitterness towards others doesn't hurt anyone but you. Holding on to feelings of negativity will slowly destroy your mental and physical health. Part of the healing process is learning to release anger. That doesn't mean forgiving and forgetting those who hurt you: it means understanding that holding onto anger, bitterness, and sadness won't change the past. It also means forgiving yourself and accepting your mistakes, while realising that, at the time, you did the best you could with the knowledge you had.

Please remember that healing won't happen overnight. The healing process is a series of small baby steps forward, and sometimes you'll have bad days and take a few steps backwards. That's okay. Forgive yourself, be kind to yourself, and keep going.

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sunnybunny
Knowflake

Posts: 211
From: tellico plains,usa
Registered: Oct 2014

posted November 25, 2014 10:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sunnybunny     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
callarosa, thank you

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