posted December 22, 2014 11:57 AM            

My relationship with my father has been pretty awful for a while. Well since my childhood. He always just criticize me as if I were nothing good. Today he did it again. And it really hit me.

Than today a very close friend of mine (with whom we had some romantic time in past three months) told me, that he has been thinking about starting a family. But I am really not in a place to have a family right now, so I had to let him go… and it is soooo frustrating. I have been crying for hours now, feeling sorry for my self, feeling lonely...

I am just fed up with everything that is going on around me. I am tried of living...

I need some inner peace. I need some love.

posted December 24, 2014 03:25 PM            

Releasing - let go of what is holding you back. this could be in past or present moments or lives. you need to release the anger, hurt, resentments preventing you from moving on with your life. Archangel Zadkiel is the angel associated with the word Release. You can call on his silver violet flame to transmute these feelings. Imagine a circle of these flames and place them in people, situations, or feelings into the center. This will burn away negative emotions, but won't harm your loved ones. Bring the color violet into your life with purple foods, flowers, gems. Call this Archangel to purify your mind, body, and soul, heal negative emotions & beliefs. This will help you move on, bringing forgiveness to others and yourself.

Clarity - Call on Archangel Gabriel before you sleep, to guide you to your next step and awaken in the morning with inspiration and freshness. Gabriel uses pure white light. Use this light to clear your mind. You can also use a clear crystal to meditate with. Iagine a clear, still pool, watch the ripples spread, throw your concerns in the water and see them melt into the water. Bring the color gold into your life, with clothing, gems, flowers. Gabriel is associated with protection, intuition, clarity, and disciple. Call on Gabriel to surround yourself with these qualities, to guide you through your darkest moments.

Choices- Archangel Uriel is associated witht he color orange. This color gives courage to face what is in front of you and to move forward with changes. It is a color of optimism, freedom, and friendship to explore. Uriel will help you release fear and anger, let go of the past, bring inner peace, transformation, and harmany into your life while helping you achieve goals and changes into your life.

posted December 24, 2014 04:27 PM            

Honestly, I think that anger, hurt, fear and huge disappointment are those key words, that are pulling me down right now. Mostly probably anger.

Thank you for taking your time and for those cards. They helped. Already the fact that someone read my post and answered on it, tried to help me, gives me this much needed hope that people do care.

I am really looking for some inner peace right now; above all I want to forgive to the people that hurt me. I really do, so I will definitley call Archangels for help. I don't want to have this anger inside of me... I just don't.

posted December 25, 2014 02:39 PM            

Don't cry I'm sorry you're going through so much pain, no one should feel like this. Unfortunately I don't know enough to pull cards for you, but I can see your progressions, transits for 2015, or whatever else you'd like in astrology. If you want, you can have my email to keep your info safe : *edited*

Stay strong and... Merry Christmas !

posted December 26, 2014 04:33 AM            

Those negative feelings are with me for days now… so not me!

Past few weeks have been so tough for me and I am really tired of all these negativity around me. But the love that I feel through messages like yours is just incredible. And yes, these phase will pass by… it is just hard to wait for it to pass it by.

posted December 26, 2014 05:44 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LostSoulRebecca:
Thank you both, Peluches and BellaFenice for your love.

Those negative feelings are with me for days now… so not me!

Past few weeks have been so tough for me and I am really tired of all these negativity around me. But the love that I feel through messages like yours is just incredible. And yes, these phase will pass by… it is just hard to wait for it to pass it by.

Thank you so so much for all those kind words! It means so much to me!!

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You're very welcome, Rebecca

posted December 26, 2014 06:09 AM            

2- write what you feel are your good qualities on paper and read them whenever you feel low.

3- try to distance yourself from your dad and do put up boundaries.

4- try to understand where he is coming from, and understand if he is being malicious or if it is a defence mechanism.

5- pick up a hobby or an activity which you enjoy doing- be is reading on this forum or yoga. Do something to make you happy everyday.

These points I've put are something I do. Skyping friends makes me happy and kill the anxiety I have currently (I'm living under the same roof as my mom.. who is a bit like your dad).

posted December 26, 2014 07:04 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MinceyMouse:
1- refuse to believe you amount to nothing.

2- write what you feel are your good qualities on paper and read them whenever you feel low.

3- try to distance yourself from your dad and do put up boundaries.

4- try to understand where he is coming from, and understand if he is being malicious or if it is a defence mechanism.

5- pick up a hobby or an activity which you enjoy doing- be is reading on this forum or yoga. Do something to make you happy everyday.

These points I've put are something I do. Skyping friends makes me happy and kill the anxiety I have currently (I'm living under the same roof as my mom.. who is a bit like your dad).

---

Thank you, MinceyMouse for your advice. First step is the hardest… for me at least.

I write my diary every day so that I put my negative feelings out of me, but lately this doesn’t help as much as usually does.

In past few days I had to force myself to do things that usually make me happy. But I had no success… Lately I can barely fell asleep, when I wake up, negative thoughts are here again; will I ever be loved, was I betrayed, am I worth enough to be loved? It haunts me. And I have no idea why.

Honestly, I have no idea, what would I do, if it wasn’t this forum! It helps me so much to read post – in this particular topic and in general. Also the compassion from other members that you feel, when you put your problems up here, is just invaluable.

Uff. Comparing to other people’s problems my problems seem so small and unimportant that I often feel so silly for being in a bad place because of THAT kind of problems…

MinceyMouse if you have time/energy, please, take a look on how my home life will (or will not) change in 2015.

posted December 26, 2014 08:24 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MinceyMouse:
Don't compare, please. If it's bad, it's bad. That feeling could be signalling that it's time to move out. I moved out in 2011, and had to move back in in 2014, due to circumstances out of my control. Without my friends, I think I would be a goner by now as I was thinking about how nice it would feel to walk out my window (I live in an apartment.. up high).

I will look at it in a few hours.. promise.

---

I too thought about just walking throug my window (my room is up high). Just recently I had these few seconds crisis (it lasted really only three, four seconds and I swear I wasn't myself at that point), when I was about to open my window and just do it but than I thought about my mother and my sisters how much I love them and what would this mean for them and the need of dying disappeared. Having them in my life is/was a saviour.

Perhaps this really is a signal for me that I have to move. but circumstances are just not in my favour. At least not now...

posted December 26, 2014 10:48 PM            

Thinking the home life stays the same (knight of coins shows fighting and arguing). The world and 9 of coins say that you get an opportunity to move out.. perhaps the year after that? I think money will also hold you back per 5 of coins. I think you already have the tools to cope with the situation(s) at hand, you just need to start using them (h.p., rx).

Overall, for next year, I don't see a huge difference unless you take the situation in your own hands.

posted December 27, 2014 10:39 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LostSoulRebecca:
Thank you so much, moonstarr77!

Honestly, I think that anger, hurt, fear and huge disappointment are those key words, that are pulling me down right now. Mostly probably anger.

Thank you for taking your time and for those cards. They helped. Already the fact that someone read my post and answered on it, tried to help me, gives me this much needed hope that people do care.

I am really looking for some inner peace right now; above all I want to forgive to the people that hurt me. I really do, so I will definitley call Archangels for help. I don't want to have this anger inside of me... I just don't.

Again, thank you so much. God bless you. Merry Christmas, dear!

---

posted December 28, 2014 05:41 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MinceyMouse:
the high priestess, rx
the world
knight of coins
5 of coins, rx
9 of coins

Thinking the home life stays the same (knight of coins shows fighting and arguing). The world and 9 of coins say that you get an opportunity to move out.. perhaps the year after that? I think money will also hold you back per 5 of coins. I think you already have the tools to cope with the situation(s) at hand, you just need to start using them (h.p., rx).

Overall, for next year, I don't see a huge difference unless you take the situation in your own hands.

Just my advice: Try to take a stand with your dad, if possible and avoid his 'triggers'. Do you have a very close friend you can stay with when it gets too much?

---

Thank you for reading. I got/get so much strength up here on LL because of people like you, MinceyMouse!

I will take you advice on avoiding triggers. Just yesterday we could have another fight but I made a step back. I was hurt, yes, but at least there was no painful huge arguing.

I will definitely tell you if opportunity for me arises in 2015 or 2016.

posted December 28, 2014 05:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by moonstarr77:
Thanks hun. I'm glad the cards helped. Please take care of yourself. When i went through rough patches, i just started making plans for long term goals and it helped put into perspective the present moments are sometimes just blips in the grand scheme of our lives, and the people & dramas of today wont matter 2years from now.

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True, moonstarr77. 2 years from now my current feelings won't mean anything anymore. But to understand this philosophy and to just let things happen, it’s really hard. At least for me.

I also started to write down my long term goals and yes it helped. I am optimist (sometimes even a dreamer) by nature and I have tons of goals for my future. Sometimes, when problem arises I just need someone to remind me to read all those goals and to start think positive again. And in recent case you were one of those people who reminded me to do that and thank you so much for that!