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Ceridwen
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posted January 08, 2015 11:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
when I come back home on saturday?

(you know sort of the emotional aftermath)


Sun - Ace of wands - 9 of swords


Another sleepless night?
(well it has happened before. lol)

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LeeLoo2014
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From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014

posted January 08, 2015 11:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeeLoo2014     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Do you want me to pull for you?

Here I see the show - the Sun - something important going on (the Ace) - I could pull on this Ace, to see the nature of the event, and then maybe it's just exhaustion, hopefully not something upsetting you.

------------------

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

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Ceridwen
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posted January 08, 2015 11:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
yeah, you could pull for me, too.

Well everything is possible, total despair even. Would not be the first time.

But it just reminds me of some other occasions, when I came home to the hotel, and i couldn ot shake off his energy (Sun/Ace of wands) to the point that it felt like an electric current, plus hearing his voice in the back of my mind, shreds of words really, and even though I was technically asleep, I wasn`t. Asleep and wide awake at the same time, and at one occasion he would just not stop pacing around (I heard the footsteps) and just not shut up! (all in my mind of course, but real sounds. lol) and at one point I was actually blurting out: "Shut up and go to sleep already! It`s past 3 a.m." LOL
Well the noise got more quiet after that, so I suppose it helped. the craziness.

But that is what the spread reminded me of, the elecrically charged energy (Sun and Ace of Wands), making it impossible to really sleep (9 of swords).


Hopefully it will be just something like that.

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LeeLoo2014
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From: Venus cornering Neptune
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posted January 08, 2015 11:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeeLoo2014     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
OK I got 4 of Wands and Queen of Wands on the Ace

and Roads Fox Clouds (how will ceri feel after the show?)

clarifier on my question: is this another woman? Child

the 4 of Wands is clearly the theatre, so my guess is if anything upsets you there it will be another woman, I guess the one with the Child??

------------------

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

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Ceridwen
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posted January 08, 2015 11:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, I suppose they could have another child and it might get visible then or he might mention it. Actually I have that fixated thought in my head, and just repeating it in a loop in my mind, as if thinking of it before would make it easier to hear it. lol

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LeeLoo2014
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From: Venus cornering Neptune
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posted January 08, 2015 11:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeeLoo2014     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If I remember correctly that was in his astrological spread I did, also in the progressions.

------------------

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

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LeeLoo2014
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From: Venus cornering Neptune
Registered: Mar 2014

posted January 08, 2015 12:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeeLoo2014     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ceri, I don't think you should worry though, go there to enjoy the show and everything will be fine Worrying about how it will be can attract bad energies otherwise not present. You are beautiful, you have an awesome outfit, you love the show, everything will be just fine

------------------

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

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Springtimeflower
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Registered: Jan 2014

posted January 08, 2015 12:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Springtimeflower     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Ceridwen,

You seemed so down and I thought..why not ask the cards what is coming up for you in the next couple of months. I got:

4 of coins, rev
2 of Cups
8 of Swords
7 of Cups (clarifier)

Looks like you've been struggling, and you may not feel like there's anything you can do, but an opportunity will come in the future to change your circumstances. The clarifier says you will make the right choice as long as you seize the opportunity that will be coming relationship wise. Are there two guys that you are interested in?

Hope this helps,
Spring

If you get bored, I have one question. I woke up the other night (think I had a nightmare) and my heart was pounding, which affects a health issue I have right now. Afterwards I felt like I had a setback, since before I seemed to have come a long way health wise and thought I was getting better. Any idea what caused me to wake up from a deep sleep?

Thank you,
Spring

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Ceridwen
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posted January 08, 2015 02:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Ceri, I don't think you should worry though, go there to enjoy the show and everything will be fine Worrying about how it will be can attract bad energies otherwise not present. You are beautiful, you have an awesome outfit, you love the show, everything will be just fine


Thanks, Leeloo. I know you are right.
I just try to, I donīt know, be forewarned or something like that.

Getting back to some sort of realism, keeping -firmly- in my mind, that he is totally unavailable to me, married (despite never wearing his wedding band) and with a little baby at home, and that it is not too unlikely he is going to have another one.

He had been paying so much attention to me on these last occasions, that it was tempting to, well not forget, but sort of just focus on the nice experiences.

However I have not forgotten that june evening in 2013, when he randomly mentioned his future mother in law, which came as a shock to me (despite me having dreamed it before), and it should not have come as such. It should not have rattled me like it did, but truth is, I had a startling strong emotional response to that; from then on I stayed in a realistic frame of mind, and just settled into, I donīt know, into accepting that there never had been a mutual spark, it was all in my mind, a grand delusion (which might have been necessary for a time even), and that he probably would not even recognize me anyway, once I leave the building.
And - after a time- it was alright, even comforting, comfortable, it`s what my Neptune does best anyway - dreaming, from afar, no risk of getting entangled in some messy earthiness. lol
So yes in a way I think I was even relieved, to a tiny part at least. It meant I did not have to change, did not REALLY h ave to come down to earth. lol


Yeah and then he started paying so much attention to me, and frankly, I was ANGRY with him after last june. After the concert with that comment about me driving him crazy (I was also flattered, flabbergasted, but totally furious).
You know the day after that, my brother came home and just ask me how the concert had been. I jumped up without a word, hurried outside the house and shut the door with a loud bang. Before taking a deep breath and getting into the house again, apologizing for my behaviour (my brother is very accepting of me, he is my soulmate actually. Well one of mine ) and well, was kinda telling this story, from a warped point of view. I am aware of that. Expressing anger about the fact that I had been made the sorry excuse for Mr Sag not being able to memorize his lines properly.
I could not be held accountable for THAT!

But in all truth I was so furious cause I had a good footing again, had just settled into how things were, admiring from afar at best, and denying all these other things before even had happened or had a meaning.

And within one evening (okay three or four nights by now. lol) he made that house of cards crash down.

He once again jumped out of the category I had put him in (well the connection between the two of us. lol), why can`t he simply stay in the box where he is supposed to be to ensure my peace of mind?


But anyway it WAS fun, the last year, it was flattering, it was very nice, the way he was looking at me, the way he - frankly spoken - has always been looking at me (when we were talking at least), not even I could deny that.


But I am realistic enough to know that this can`t go on like this.

I still don`t really know what "this" is between us: a little more than nothing, but also a little less than something I suppose.
Maybe I will never know. Maybe it`s not supposed to fit into a category.


I am talking nunsense again, I know.

So I will shut up again, and just have a mighty fine time tomorrow night.
At least my life is not boring.
My very own soapopera. lol


The card clouds always reminds me, that where there is darkness, there will also be light. And after a storm the sky will clear up again. It always does.


LOL nothing bad even has happened yet, and I am already planning for the aftermath. Gosh, I am so Saturnian today.


Funny enough tomorrow tr Sun will be right on the middle of our Moon-Venus-conjunction in composite.


And Tr Moon moving from 9-11 Virgo in that time will activate

my Jupiter 11 PIsces
his Mars 10 Virgo
his Jupiter 11 Virgo
his Amor 9 Virgo

and if we count squares
my Neptune-NN 10 SAg
his Mercury 9 Sag

(which funny enough is our first meeting charts ASC-degree. lol)


it will these midpoints:

my chart:
Saturn/Uranus 9.09 Virgo
- actually will have just passed this mp of mine, I suppose the half an hour before it is going to start, I just wanna run away. lol


Moon/MC 11°06 Sagittarius (= Jupiter= node= Neptune)
Vertex/Uranus 11°27 Virgo
- oh I never even realized my Jupiter is on my Vx/Uranus-mp. lol

his chart:
Venus/Pluto 8°39 Sagittarius (=Mercury on 9°23 Sagittarius)

around the same time my wish to run away (Saturn/Uranus) might get triggered, he will apparently experience some intense emotional activation

Pluto/Juno 9°31 Virgo

Sun/Uranus 10°10 SAgittarius
(which falls PRECISELY onto my North Node, to the minute! lol oh and his Jupiter is on 10°09 Virgo)


Mars/Jupiter 10°37 Virgo

MC/URanus 10°51 Sagittarius

Moon/Uranus 11°01 Sagittarius (=Mars 11°05 Virgo)

Lilith / ASC 11°55 Gemini

Well the Moon will be on these degrees (the transiting Moon I mean)

7:30 p.m.: 9°37 Virgo (conj. Lilith9°31 Virgo)4

10:30 p.m.: 11°06 Virgo


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Ceridwen
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posted January 08, 2015 03:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
the thread is eating replies.

Spring,
I was thanking you for pulling these cards. I very much appreciate it.
I will return the favour on the weekend, as I do not feel in the right frame of mind tonight for doint this, but I hope you are feeling well.

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Springtimeflower
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From: USA
Registered: Jan 2014

posted January 08, 2015 03:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Springtimeflower     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Spring,

you pulling cards for me really touched me.
Thank you for that.

I will get back to your question, just do not feel like i am in the frame of mind to do it now. I will do so when I come back on the weekend.

I hope you feel better though, and your health condition does not worsen, if it does, and it is alarming, better go to a doctor quickly though.


I'm glad I could make your day.

Thank you. I may have been eating some things that maybe I shouldn't and they probably aren't helping it and when my cortisol level drops, my ability to shut off some things that I pick up empathically doesn't work so well either I'm finding. I've been picking up a person from the past who has erratic emotions, so I'm wondering if the wake up was from them. I usually get extremes of emotions from him and have been awakened before. Usually I remember at least a small part of any dream I have or if the energy is coming from this person, but nothing this time.

The reason I asked about "two" for you was that your cards showed a decision--maybe the other one hasn't popped up yet. I felt the same way over two years ago and then someone (I worked with before, but didn't really know) popped up and I realized that he and I are a much better match than the one with the erratic emotions.

Spring

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LeeLoo2014
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From: Venus cornering Neptune
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posted January 08, 2015 04:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeeLoo2014     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yeah, Ceri, don't be Saturnian let them Jupiter and Sun shine

------------------

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms...

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Ceridwen
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posted January 08, 2015 04:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes. I`ve come to a decision.

I`ve been wondering if it`s worth it (the time, insecurity, emotional investment for nothing really. lol).

and surprisingly my answer is:
Yes.
It`s worth it.
Just for the experience itself.


interestingly you mentioned Jupiter-
at the beginning of the concert Jupiter will be on the ASC in Leo. lol

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Ceridwen
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posted January 08, 2015 04:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
somehow I feel in this instance I am the one with the erratic emotions.

Well Moon in aquarius - we are not really detached, but we often experience such polar opposite emotions at the same time that it seems like everything is calm on the surface.

Or maybe it is just me with my Moon=Sun/Pluto midpointpicture, and dispositor in Scorpio anyway

Oh did I mention that the Tr Sun is moving into square to my Uranus/Pluto-mp while being on my Antivertex and conjunct Sun/Moon-mp?

always these extreme times...

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Ceridwen
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posted January 08, 2015 11:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
daily lenormand:

Heart - Bear - garden
clarifier: Rider
Bouquet fell out while shuffling

---------------------------------

since I always do I pulled a question on the concert, and the 5 of swords came up (again, was reminded that I was getting it for a past concert)

Wanted to know if that was about fight, disagreements, hositility or simply some sort of communication (as it had been back then)

clarifier: lovers


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Randall
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From: Saturn next to Charmainec
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posted January 10, 2015 10:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

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Ceridwen
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posted January 10, 2015 05:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Spring,

I drew these cards for you


Page of cups - 8 of swords - Temperance

A strong romantic feeling/ love feeling (Page of Cups), but you might feel like it keeps you trapped in a mental cycle, almost like you are being kept prisoner by loving someone?
And you strive for healing from that, balance.
There is a fight going on internally between these strong love feelings and wanting to mend them actually, heal them, and possibly detach from them.

does this resonate a little?

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Springtimeflower
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posted January 10, 2015 07:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Springtimeflower     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Spring,

I drew these cards for you


Page of cups - 8 of swords - Temperance

A strong romantic feeling/ love feeling (Page of Cups), but you might feel like it keeps you trapped in a mental cycle, almost like you are being kept prisoner by loving someone?
And you strive for healing from that, balance.
There is a fight going on internally between these strong love feelings and wanting to mend them actually, heal them, and possibly detach from them.

does this resonate a little?


Yes Ceri.

I've been writing and waiting to see the man I bumped into last year (January). I guess there's other things that need to occur first before I'll see him again. Maybe it's stressing me more than I thought.

Thank you,
Spring

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