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Author
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Topic: in heartwrenching pain..
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peacefulclouds
Knowflake Posts: 935
From: somewhere in south and the east
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 02, 2015 12:22 PM
  
i don't expect anyone to read for me.but at least if anyone would humor me or listen... or just, i dunno. i just feel like i can't talk to anyone right now...
long story short, my hunch and dreams were right, in the past couple of weeks. i began suddenly, dreaming about someone that i thought i had moved on as i close the door in jan. i have been busy w work ever since and seem like my career is doing great. i even met someone though of course nothing happened but it was nice as distraction.
but the sudden reminder in my dreams and waking up, was vivid enough and out of nowhere enough to disturb me. i thought it might be a message or something but what? not to mention i had many accident(near misses) that is out of my control (e.g: taxi almost got wrecled, thunder struck tje nearest tree, roof suddenly fell down due to moisture from daya of heaby rain...etc)
. as if they were trying to tell something. about things out of my control.
well, i found out SH, the guy already set a wedding date- his girlfriend made a website for it, theyre having it in his childhood place. i guess im crushed, which is so stupid because i knew it was coming, i thought i was ready for it, but here i am, grieving and in pain.
i feel so stupid
thought i was ready and strong. guess i was never ready.
guess i wishing i meant something,, guess i never was i unfriended him from everywhrre so he has no way to contact or follow my life. guess it is time to pull the plug fully. thanks for reading
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VacantGazer
Knowflake Posts: 393
From: The Sky
Registered: Dec 2014
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posted April 02, 2015 12:50 PM
Hey PC, sorry that you are going through this. Hope you're ok. You will be fine with time,really, just concentrate on yourself and do some things you enjoy doing to try to take your mind of it.IP: Logged |
dustib
Knowflake Posts: 190
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted April 02, 2015 01:04 PM
I will read for you when I get home tonight. What is your question? I understand the pain....dealing with a bit of that myself right now so would love to help youIP: Logged |
FairyDust75
Knowflake Posts: 1806
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted April 02, 2015 01:04 PM
Hi peaceful, I feel your pain. My heart breaks for you. I have no magic spells or words of wisdom. Each day will get a tiny bit better and other days won't be easy. You have to give yourself time to grieve. It's hard to realize that person you loved is gone. And them marrying someone else is just a dagger to the heart even more. Just allow yourself to feel and grieve and in time you will heal. You are an amazing wonderful person and he lost out. We have to have hope that something more will come for us. If you still have my email and want to chat feel free to message me at any time. I'm here for you. IP: Logged |
tgem
Moderator Posts: 3788
From:
Registered: Jan 2013
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posted April 02, 2015 01:09 PM
Awww...Peaceful I'm so very sorry. Went through the same thing myself back in 2003. Thought I was ready for it but I cried my eyes out at his wedding in so much at the loss of the dream. Sending love and peace your way- it will get easier with time 💙IP: Logged |
peacefulclouds
Knowflake Posts: 935
From: somewhere in south and the east
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 02, 2015 01:13 PM
thnk you everyonedustib i dont really have any question, even tho of course millions of questions are running through my mind, all of them are not going to help me.. just loss.
i learned my lesson - psychic readings will not ever prepare me for the matters of heart.
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dustib
Knowflake Posts: 190
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted April 02, 2015 03:53 PM
I agree....I just found out the guy I was pregnant with his baby and miscarried last week got married yesterday to his ex wife. Nothing can prepare you for the painIP: Logged |
lilacbreeze
Knowflake Posts: 443
From:
Registered: Oct 2013
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posted April 02, 2015 05:18 PM
Peaceful - I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. I'm sending lots of light your way. I completely understand the frustration of thinking you're prepared and ready to have something happen, only to have it happen and feel completely blindsided. It does make you wonder whether you can truly prepare yourself for anything. Wishing for brighter days for you.ETA: dustib - my heart goes out to you as well. Sending positive vibes your way! IP: Logged |
furrybunny
Knowflake Posts: 86
From: NYC
Registered: Dec 2014
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posted April 02, 2015 05:31 PM
peaceful i hope you feel better! i've been in similar emotional state and i know its tough but im sure life is telling you someone better is going to come along!IP: Logged |
LostSoulRebecca
Knowflake Posts: 609
From: Europe
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted April 02, 2015 06:36 PM
Dear, I feel your pain! Loss is an unbearable pain. You think you are ready, but then you see him with her and it crushes you out of nowhere…True, nothing can prepare you for that, really. You can see/hear/feel it coming, but when it comes, it still hurts!  What I have learned from past similar experiences is that you need to let things happen. But I learned in a hard way and on many life’s areas, not just in a relationships. I really don’t know what I could tell you to make you feel better, but I know that few years back, when I had my own ‘series of unfortunate events’, it was there for a reason. I had to learn that some things are just not under my control nor will ever be. Therefore I NEEDED to learn to trust that there is something above us that controls things for us, we simply need to go our way and not allow fear to stop us. Basically I needed to learn to trust. I really do feel that you are about to enter a new life path right now. I also feel that you yourself must be quite psychic (?) so maybe this pain is there also because you are shedding your skin and since you are psychic, you feel this more than any other non-psychic person… I mean, maybe? I know that it hurts, but try to trust. I am sending you much love! 
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poochycat
Knowflake Posts: 1168
From: Vancouver, Canada
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted April 02, 2015 07:29 PM
Dear PCI am so sorry to hear all this trauma that is happening in your life right now. If it helps to say this, think of all the fun times you had together and experiences that you shared to try to block out any pain that you are feeling right now. Looking at the photos that you shared with me, you are a young, attractive and intelligent woman. Love will happen for you. A man who will love you wholeheartedly. It will,trust in the universe. Big hug for you.
Poochy XX IP: Logged |
cherful24
Knowflake Posts: 3997
From: chicago, il
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted April 02, 2015 07:57 PM
you survived what you thought were going to be accidents but really they were just near misses.... you can use it as a metaphor for your relationship with him, you think your losing by not being the one he chose to marry ...but that really is just a miss....and you'll survive it...(the pain). and after every wreckage from the storm is a rainbow,...beauty... growth... happiness..( I.e. the tree falling, the roof collapsing because of my moisture, which is really because of the weather)...beauty will present itself to you after this wedding or marriage or heartbreak is done with, and whether that be you find out the realities about him that makes you think "thank God I missed out on the chance to marry him" or Mr Perfect comes into your life and you think "thank God I miss out on the chance to marry him"IP: Logged |
peacefulclouds
Knowflake Posts: 935
From: somewhere in south and the east
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 02, 2015 09:11 PM
thank you everyone. it helps to know and be understood, so i dont feel im so deluded and worthless
cherful: definitely was a warning or metaphor of some sorts.
i guess i have to also admit, in the matters of heart, i cant ever prepare for things like this. i have to admit i am unable to be friends with someone i feel so strongly to IP: Logged |
MinceyMouse
Knowflake Posts: 1781
From: Indonesia for now
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 02, 2015 09:28 PM
Peaceful, what type of anger outlet do you have? Could you do something like kick boxing? (FF in PP has something like that). It would be a good idea to look into ways to physically release the stress right now.. IP: Logged |
peacefulclouds
Knowflake Posts: 935
From: somewhere in south and the east
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 02, 2015 09:39 PM
i'm lucky I have work piling up that would require me to talk to people (conducting interview etc) so I don't wallow in itI just go for a long walk usual, last night i walked from scbd area to my home (mega kuningan) at 11 pm that released some of the grief IP: Logged |
MinceyMouse
Knowflake Posts: 1781
From: Indonesia for now
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 02, 2015 09:53 PM
I was in the scbd area, trying to find a taxi to get home at about 10-ish. If you want to vent, you know where to find me.
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peacefulclouds
Knowflake Posts: 935
From: somewhere in south and the east
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 02, 2015 09:54 PM
my messages never seem to go thru ur whatsapp howeverIP: Logged |
MinceyMouse
Knowflake Posts: 1781
From: Indonesia for now
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 02, 2015 09:55 PM
fb, then. I changed the whatsapp number accidently about 3-4 months back. I can't re-vert it back, which could be it. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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