Posts: 1371
From: boston mass
Registered: Jan 2014

posted April 12, 2015 02:27 AM            

---

Everyone has a past no matter who it is..and no matter what iv always been a good person, iv gone out of my way for the 2 best friends (guy + girl their engaged but their my rocks in life) iv had for awhile. Because I was defending someone he was saying horrible things about that aren't true(only saying that because she brought some kid around who was childhood best friends with his fiskce and he's jealous) I defended her and he said horrible things to me and about my past and that's why I'm single.
Im not sure if I need an exchange or someone who can relate

IP: Logged

Posts: 1560
From: Germany
Registered: Oct 2010

posted April 12, 2015 02:50 AM            

---

Unfortunately most hurtful words come from those we love.
Since you've been close friends for long, I guess she didn't mean to hurt you - at least not on purpose. It might have been a defending attitude cause she might have got insulted and brought it back to you that way.
She will come around and apologise. When she does, talk to her and tell her how you feel about this.

IP: Logged

Posts: 198
From: outerspace
Registered: Sep 2014

posted April 12, 2015 06:12 AM            

---

A real friend would never use your past agaisnt you.
Just because you've known since forever someone you consider a friend, doesn't mean they'll remain a friend.
Sometimes you stay friends with someone just because you're "used to" them.
If this person first "instinct" was to attack and hurt you, you really need to question this friendship.

IP: Logged

Posts: 165
From: Venus
Registered: Jun 2014

posted April 12, 2015 07:28 AM            

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by midnightvenus:
A real friend would never use your past agaisnt you.
Just because you've known since forever someone you consider a friend, doesn't mean they'll remain a friend.
Sometimes you stay friends with someone just because you're "used to" them.
If this person first "instinct" was to attack and hurt you, you really need to question this friendship.

---

This is also the feeling I got.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1371
From: boston mass
Registered: Jan 2014

posted April 12, 2015 12:12 PM            

---

Its the guy best friend not the girl. I was friends with him for years, before her and now its that I'm just closer with her. I realize people grow apart and I need to realize not everyone has the same heart that I do, because I get really hurt when this kinda stuff happens.
He's really insecure and controlling over her, and tried to put me down. After I wrote this post I walked up to him and I told him that he hurt my feelings, and what he said to me wasn't right at all. I'm a good person, and I dont need anyone who judges me for my past in my life because everyone has a past. Yea when I was 21-23 I drank a lot was always partying, rumors were always spread that weren't true . I did stupid things but I'm 27 now, iv never robbed anyone, never did drugs, was just a party girl

IP: Logged

Posts: 198
From: outerspace
Registered: Sep 2014

posted April 12, 2015 12:25 PM            

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by luckystar25:
I'm a good person, and I dont need anyone who judges me for my past in my life because everyone has a past. Yea when I was 21-23 I drank a lot was always partying, rumors were always spread that weren't true . I did stupid things but I'm 27 now, iv never robbed anyone, never did drugs, was just a party girl

---

Even if you had done drugs in parties, even if the rumours were true, still wouldn't make you a bad person.
There's nothing with having fun, with doing something you wanted to do - as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.
I feel you have a good heart, and a good heart is what makes a good person.
His heart sounds malicious and judgemental.
With what you described, he also sounds like an abuser.
Please take care. Take care of your friend too.
She'll end up hurt.

IP: Logged

Posts: 222
From: 5th house
Registered: Sep 2014

posted April 12, 2015 01:20 PM            

---

I had an abusive relationship where my partner always accused other people for their bad pasts. He was like 'whatever they are living is their own fault because they are morons'. I have a bad history too. And when an argument popped out between me and him, he would also say those things to me.

At first, I was like 'boy, he has a point. if I didnt do X/Y/Z my life could have been so different.' but those same mistakes were the very reason why I have ended up with him, another abuser.

Funny thing is, he left me because I had a bad past and a bad family, 2 things I have no control over. This kind of people really do exist and if you really care for him, you should show him his manipulative pattern and maybe it's because he is hurt due to similar issues and now maybe he is in denial.

but more importantly know this; we all did terrible mistakes, and we grow to the extent that we get lessons from these mistakes. We all still have a lot to learn and master on social and spiritual levels. Judging and belittling a person by their mistakes is very mean. You are not your mistakes. You are not the wrong decisions you have taken. You are the person who have ended up being you through the mistakes you have made. and if somebody should blame you for some mistakes, its you yourself, no one else.

IP: Logged

Posts: 122
From: NYC
Registered: Dec 2014

posted April 13, 2015 02:51 PM            

---

i agree with midnight.

if anyone makese you feel bad for having fun, for being who you are... i would leave. thats just negativity that you dont need. like for me, If i confided in you, its because i accepted being vulnerable and trusted you. no matter how angry you are.. theres a line. and if that person abused that trust and tried to use my weakest point to make me feel bad, guilty, sad... that person isnt my friend. i have alot of pride in myself to let someone treat me that way.

so lucky, hes really not a friend at ALL. not to mention he let a girl interfere with his relationship with you ... like if your willing to throw away our friendship over something so simple.. whats gonna happen if its something serious... ill be you friend! hehe and sorry for the preaching :/ just annoys me when i hear stuff like this

IP: Logged