Posts: 2005
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted May 13, 2015 11:10 AM            

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So I've been seeing this new guy E. Things have been fine, at least I think. He's had some personal stuff going on that I know has been stressing him a lot. Last week he was very sweet and now the last few days he's been sort of distant. Anyway, today he had to deal with some of the stress he's going through and when I asked him if I could call him later his answer was "you don't need to." He told me what was going on with his situation, but I just can't tell if he doesn't want to talk to me anymore at all or if he just doesn't want to talk because he's stressed. So I guess my concern is, is E becoming distant because he doesn't want to talk to me anymore or is he distant because of the stress he has going on? I appreciate it if anyone can help me with this. I'm very anxious about it. Thank you to anyone who is willing to look.

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posted May 13, 2015 11:26 AM            

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Hey Fairy! I'm not confident enough in my readings skills to answer this particular question, but I'd like to offer my advice if that's okay?

Everyone responds to stress differently. When I'm feeling overwhelmed I tend to internalize and distance myself from those around me. I need to process, formulate a plan, and work it out on my own. It's nothing personal against anyone, it's just the way I'm wired and prefer to handle things.

The fact that he is stressed but still communicating, even if he's slightly distant, tells me it has nothing to do with you. Plus, he said "you don't have to". Not only did he respond to your question, but it wasn't a "no".

I would just let him know you're available should he want/need to vent (or even as a distraction from whatever is going on) and leave it at that. I wouldnt push him or the issue. Speaking from personal experience that drives me further away.

Hope that helps! I'm sure someone will be kind enough to read for you, but I truly wouldn't sweat it at this point.

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Posts: 2005
From: USA
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posted May 13, 2015 11:38 AM            

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Thanks Jersey that does actually help. He does communicate but it has slowed down a lot. I guess I'm just insecure with how much to push and not push. I'm trying to take his cues and not overwhelm him. I don't text him 100 times a day or anything like that. If I text u wait for him to respond before texting again. I just can't help feeling insecure is all. I can see what you mean about when he said I didn't need to call him. I didn't know how to interpret it. Like he doesn't want to talk at all to me anymore or just that I don't have to call cause there isn't much to say about what's going on with him.

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Posts: 1634
From: Germany
Registered: Oct 2010

posted May 13, 2015 11:52 AM            

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Hi FairyDust,

Sorry for what you're going through!
It's normal to feel insecure about your relationship, especially when he reacts this way.
I pulled three cards which did indicate that he's going through amazing stress and I feel it has to do with a female figure. Mother or ex wife.
Unfortunately this issue is not letting enjoy what he's having with you :/ Cause he seems to be struggling a lot.
I would say be patient with him now and just show him that you're there for him when he needs you.

The cards: Nine of Swords, Three of Swords, Seven of Wands

Wishing you good luck and don't worry

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Posts: 2005
From: USA
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posted May 13, 2015 11:59 AM            

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Thanks Venia for looking I truly appreciate it. The stress right now is mainly a financial thing. He has been having a lot of issues with his mom right now. Of course she's giving him a hard time so they haven't been speaking much. As long as it's not me I'm willing to take his cues and not push him. I've told him I'm here if he needs me for support it's just hard to be told no you don't need to call me. I just didn't know how to take it.

If anyone else has a take or advice I'm open to it!

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posted May 14, 2015 06:48 AM            

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Just wanted to bump up once more in case anyone else wanted to take a look for me

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posted May 16, 2015 05:49 PM            

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Hey Fairy! Just want to check in and see how things are going with E?

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Posts: 2005
From: USA
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posted May 16, 2015 05:56 PM            

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Hey Jersey, things seem to be ok at the moment. He's still in communication and I asked to see him tomorrow. He told me he would let me know as he may have his daughter. But he's still communicating so that's a good thing! I just follow his cues. Usually I let him contact first and he does. If I decide to text first I don't bombard him and I wait until he responds back. I know he's just under a lot of stress now so I do hope once that clears up he will be a bit better.

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Posts: 578
From: USA
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posted May 16, 2015 06:19 PM            

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I will tell you what I was told before...when we first meet a guy, they will go all out with texting and contacting in order to make sure we know they are interested. Unfortunately they aren't able to keep up with this for very long because of life and we then as women have learned to expect it so when it slows down, we automatically assume a lack of interest. Which isn't the case 90% of the time. You are doing the right thing but letting him take the lead and then mirroring his actions.

I did pull and ask how E feels about you and got mountain, bear, anchor, key and stork. I do see the stress he's dealing with and how he feels you are there for him when he needs you. He does feel like you are his anchor right now keeping him from slipping away into the stress and you're his way of escaping. He feels you are calm and understanding and his opportunity for a change in life.

Sounds like you're doing the right thing and he appreciates it. Keep it simple for him and I think you will see good things happening in the future. Hope this helps!

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posted May 16, 2015 06:21 PM            

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Wow thanks so much for that Dustib! I really appreciate it!

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Posts: 578
From: USA
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posted May 16, 2015 06:26 PM            

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Hopefully it puts your mind at ease a bit! If he's still contacting you then that is a super good sign! The guy I have fallen for hardly ever contacts me and actually goes MIA for a few days at a time....so I think he's only playing a game with me unfortunately. And I can't pull for myself...ugh. LOL But always glad to help out when I can!

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posted May 17, 2015 09:54 AM            

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Thanks Dustib you did put me at ease. I have a lot of my own insecurities so I always worry about if what I'm doing is right. I certainly don't want to overwhelm him and text him 100 times a day. I want him to be happy to hear from me and want to see me. I'm hoping to see him today as a matter of fact! I asked him but he hasn't given me a definite answer yet so keeping my fingers crossed!

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Posts: 578
From: USA
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posted May 17, 2015 10:10 AM            

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I pulled and asked if you would see E today. I got mountain, mice and coffin. I know it looks like a negative spread but I feel like his obstacles are ending and relief is on the way actually. I think if you do see him today, it will be for a short while and not as long as you'd like. I asked if he was going to make the time to see you today and got the clouds so there is still some confusion around it right now. Sorry I couldn't be more positive.

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Posts: 2005
From: USA
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posted May 17, 2015 10:19 AM            

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In all honesty, I'm not too upset by it. I have a feeling I won't see him today. But I do have hope I'll at least see him soon. Next week is a three day weekend so maybe then. I know he's got a lot going on so I would be surprised to see him today but I understand why he would say no. Thanks for looking!

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From: USA
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posted May 17, 2015 01:42 PM            

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Hey Dustib if you should come back just wanted to tell you I have yet to hear from him today let alone even see him . Tried texting earlier just once and hasn't even answered.

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posted May 17, 2015 03:10 PM            

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Hello
I pulled some cards for you, I got that he likes u and enjoys your company, but he is in the midst of leaving a stressful situation, I get him walking away from something and with that he is losing a lot (not sure if it's money) but it's as if he doesn't care about the Loss he just wants to move on, after that I geta new opportunity for you two and a potential for a commitment, the cards are warning you not to be too pushy because he can get defensive if you do..take it easy and don't worry. It's NOT you :-)
Ps I was in Mexico just got back so I'm sorry I missed you

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From: USA
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posted May 17, 2015 03:32 PM            

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Thanks Vivi! He is def losing a lot of money right now and he will have some closure with his current stress this week. I do hope it goes ok for him. Thank you for looking and I hope you had a fabulous time in Mexico! Oh I def try not to be pushy with him. I don't make demands or anything I hope he doesn't think I'm being pushy. I did text him this morning and he hasn't answered so I won't text him again until he does. I just hope he does text back soon.

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posted May 18, 2015 12:42 PM            

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Just wanted to update--He did contact me yesterday. First he texted, then he called, and he texted me again last night and today. So I guess all is well for now lol. And he did bring up wanting to see me since our plans for yesterday fell through. This weekend is a possibility but he said he would let me know. I do hope he is able to see me. But he was the one who did bring it up about getting together so that's a good thing as well in my opinion.

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posted May 18, 2015 08:15 PM            

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Hey Fairy! I think you're golden as long as you maintain your cool and don't push. Sounds like you're doing everything right. He's clearly interested in you. Slow and steady wins the race.

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Posts: 694
From: tellico plains,usa
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posted May 18, 2015 09:21 PM            

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hi fairy, I asked the cards if you should invest time and energy into this relationship and I got the justice card, I interpret this as a NO.
if he don't contact you about going out again,
my advice is to go on like he does not exist.
talk about the dates you're going on on facebook.
act like you are having a great time in life.
perhaps that will drive him crazy and he will contact you.
that's the best advice I can give you.

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posted May 18, 2015 09:34 PM            

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Thanks sunny but he does contact me everyday. We've talked every single day. And we aren't friends on Facebook at the moment. He also did take the initiative to say we will set up a date soon and I believe he means it.

@Jersey, I do think this will continue to progress. I do want him to make the moves so to speak so I give him the space he seems to need right now. I've been told by many that this will continue to progress in a positive way. He has his issues he needs to deal with now but he wants me in his life and we will continue.

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posted May 22, 2015 06:28 AM            

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Ok just wanted to bump up because I had a random weird question if anyone would be so kind as to answer for me. So when E and I met a few months ago I knew he had a Facebook. We didn't become friends on there thought he had deleted it shortly after we met. A few weeks ago I discovered he was back on there. We still aren't friends. I honestly believe it's not for any particular reason either, not like he doesn't want to friend me I just really think he hasn't thought of it. Anyway, I've been wanting to friend him but have been hesitant. Would he think it was weird if I friended him and would he accept it? I really don't think he will friend me first. Any advice on this one or if anyone has an intuitive answer I would appreciate it. Thank you!

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posted May 22, 2015 09:00 AM            

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I say go with your first instinct. You feel hesitant, so honor that. That doesn't mean you can friend him at a later date.

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Posts: 2005
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posted May 22, 2015 10:15 AM            

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I know I should probably wait and I'm not sure why it matters to me. Been trying to think of a way to bring it up in a natural conversation as well so I can say hey friend me or I'll friend you. But I haven't figured that out yet. Then part of me thinks what is the big deal why not do it. But I don't know. I wish he would just think of it but guys aren't that smart lol.

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Posts: 2005
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posted May 28, 2015 12:54 PM            

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I was wondering if anyone would be available and want to read for me please. I just feel like lately every time I ask E to meet up it kind of falls apart and it doesn't happen. Is it me? Does he not want to see me? We talk everyday though and he's been pretty sweet lately. So what's up with the meeting up? Any chance we will get to spend some time together any time soon? Thanks to anyone willing to look for me.

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