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Author
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Topic: @intuitivefish
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dustib
Knowflake Posts: 693
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted May 19, 2015 03:12 PM
  
Would love to exchange if you have a question. I'm beginning to feel like ML is just keeping me on the line till something better comes along...not sure if it's my insecurity because I am backing off and he's not really coming forward yet is on the dating site we met on a lot more than usual lately. Can you tell me what you see and if my fears are unfounded? And why he's online the dating site if he's interested in me. Thanks! IP: Logged |
intuitivefish
Knowflake Posts: 2168
From: Europe
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted May 20, 2015 08:25 AM
First I must say, you cannot expect to withdraw from him for a day or so and expect him to be all over you in an instant. He hasnt even realized you made some desision not to run after him any more. He isnt fully aware a change happened so no he wont change the way he was over night.
And I also must say, you need to stick to this change for atleast 1-2 weeks to see some results. Other than that you will be extremley disappointed in not seeing results fast enough.
I do get that there is a chance you are not the only person he is interested in, sorry but this guy seems to me to be a bit of a jump from one to another, keeping a few girls in the loop. I dont feel him be commited to anyone.IP: Logged |
dustib
Knowflake Posts: 693
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted May 20, 2015 08:56 AM
I do understand he is talking to others, I am as well as we aren't at that point to be committed to one another. I do believe him when he says he's not intimate with anyone else....and hopefully I'm not wrong there. What do you see there? Is there a chance for commitment between him and I? Thanks!Do you have any questions? IP: Logged |
intuitivefish
Knowflake Posts: 2168
From: Europe
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted May 20, 2015 09:13 AM
I am not too sure if he is being intimate but I do get he has kissed other girls and gone out on dates with others.There is a chance yes but more in the 1-2 months time frame. He still feels to me like he wants to keep having fun and remain single.
Not sure if you can answer this but, why did my prayer (connected to A) crack at the end when it burned out?
Is there significance to this?
IP: Logged |
dustib
Knowflake Posts: 693
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted May 20, 2015 10:43 AM
will pull for you shortly. So if I leave him alone, he will contact me? IP: Logged |
intuitivefish
Knowflake Posts: 2168
From: Europe
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted May 20, 2015 12:19 PM
Yes. The more you leave him alone he will wonder why
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intuitivefish
Knowflake Posts: 2168
From: Europe
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted May 20, 2015 06:12 PM
Did you get anything on the question or should i ask different?IP: Logged |
dustib
Knowflake Posts: 693
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted May 20, 2015 09:17 PM
Not sure if you can answer this but, why did my prayer (connected to A) crack at the end when it burned out?
Is there significance to this?I got ring, sun, rider, cross and clouds. I don't think the crack at the end meant anything and I'm not sure what the prayer was for but I think what the cards are telling me is the cycle will be ending soon that the 2 of you have been in for awhile. I see news coming that may cause some guilt and depression. I pulled the next card and see the stork which means a new start. I wanted to "charge" the man card to see what is going on with him and the garden card is on his left(the past) and the key is on the right(future). I feel like his circle of friends from the past will be different in the future because he is finding out things that are causing him some pain but also finding out what works for him. Hope this resonates IP: Logged |
dustib
Knowflake Posts: 693
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted May 20, 2015 09:19 PM
Also he called me on my way home from work and mentioned possibly seeing each other later tonight which obviously didn't happen since when I was done with my meeting, I did text him as he requested and he didn't respond. UGH Will I see him Monday at my cookout since I did invite him?IP: Logged |
intuitivefish
Knowflake Posts: 2168
From: Europe
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted May 21, 2015 01:16 AM
So what you are saying is no good is coming for me and him?thank you, I do think it resonates. I get the same for you, that he might come for a short bit but for the most part I feel a disappoitment in you about this IP: Logged |
dustib
Knowflake Posts: 693
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted May 21, 2015 07:12 AM
quote:
Originally posted by intuitivefish:
So what you are saying is no good is coming for me and him?thank you, I do think it resonates. I get the same for you, that he might come for a short bit but for the most part I feel a disappoitment in you about this
I actually didn't feel like it was an ending between the 2 of you but an ending to the cycle and a new start between the 2 of you. I feel like he is going to cut out someone who isn't working and it will cause him some depression. I hope I cleared this up a bit for you. I'm taking my cards to work so if I get a chance I'll pull to clarify even more. IP: Logged |
intuitivefish
Knowflake Posts: 2168
From: Europe
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted May 21, 2015 07:44 AM
I understood you that I will hear bad news and get depressed.Thank you IP: Logged |
dustib
Knowflake Posts: 693
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted May 21, 2015 11:38 AM
quote:
Originally posted by intuitivefish:
I understood you that I will hear bad news and get depressed.Thank you
No he is going to be the one who gets depressed. I'm sorry I didn't make the message clearer. I think he is going to be depressed for a while after he cuts out the person he's going to and I don't feel it's you at all but his current girlfriend. I think he will tell you about it when it happens but he will be down about it even though he knows it's the best thing for him. That is why I feel a new start for the 2 of you in time. Can I ask 1 more question about ML. I have this feeling today that I need to tell him I'm done since he clearly has no time since he continues to make tentative plans with me then disappears. I feel like he is doing this in case something falls thru with someone else...is that the case? And what would happen if I told him if his schedule changes to contact me but until then I'm done. IP: Logged |
intuitivefish
Knowflake Posts: 2168
From: Europe
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted May 21, 2015 02:03 PM
Ah I get it now, makes sense.Do you get any time frame when this migh occour?
Everyone keeps saying they will stay together for a while longer. What do you get? I know I might be repeating myself, but I feel like the more eager you show to be, to see him and talk to him the more he will back off from plans. I feel like he likes to be in control and pretend to blow you off to show he has the upper hand.
I feel that you shouldnt tell him that you are backing away/ done. this will show him too much like you are fishing for him to say "nooo dont .... " but that you should just do it and dont say anything. You dont need to explain your actions especially since there is no commitment. I feel like he likes to think he is somewhat of a player and that you will keep runing after him. Its such an ego power play it makes me sick. Toying with peoples emotions like that.
I keep getting to tell you that you need to stick to your decison and not give in to him the 1st time he shows he wants to see you, make him earn your time, make him make exact plans and if he backs off then say ok thanks but I am not interested in seeing you any more, DO NOT make yourself be so available. ask yourself this : why should I be available on becking call for someone who has not done the same for me. I feel like he has been taking advantage of you being so tolerant and buying his every excuse. I feel like he has ready excuses for every time he blows you off and its time to stop it. IP: Logged |
dustib
Knowflake Posts: 693
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted May 21, 2015 02:16 PM
THANK you so much! That makes perfect sense.I asked when he was going to break up with her and got 9. I feel like it's either 9 weeks or September....I really feel like he has to get the courage to do it but is something he has been thinking about for awhile. IP: Logged |
intuitivefish
Knowflake Posts: 2168
From: Europe
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted May 21, 2015 02:20 PM
interesting, similar time frame keeps coming for me ( 9/10 weeks and september)
thank you  I will be taking a break now, had a long day but I can do more another time IP: Logged |
dustib
Knowflake Posts: 693
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted May 21, 2015 02:23 PM
I get the same time frames too from a few people regarding the butthead I asked about. LOL Men are so frustrating sometimes...Thank you again for your help. I feel more at ease now IP: Logged |
intuitivefish
Knowflake Posts: 2168
From: Europe
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted May 21, 2015 02:26 PM
I think a lot of men are going through similar transformations/changes and its not easy to let go of the known for the unkown. to let go of saftey of your bubble. and women too, going through shifts of finally putting themself first. I saw with many posts women who are going through the same thing, finally decding to take a step back/move on and when this is finally decided, to give love to yourself, to have some backbone, confidence... there will be results.
I think Love for yourself is the key here.keep me posted good luck IP: Logged |
dustib
Knowflake Posts: 693
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted May 26, 2015 12:28 PM
Just wanted to give you an update....since he disappeared Wednesday I didn't hear anything from him but Sunday I sent a message to him about the cookout Monday. He did send 1 text in response and then Monday there was a bit of texting BUT he went MIA/silent again. Very frustrating and time for me to try to let it go and move on. I do care about him but not sure he will ever change. IP: Logged |
intuitivefish
Knowflake Posts: 2168
From: Europe
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted May 26, 2015 02:20 PM
thank you on the update. I truely hope you manage to start letting go and please try to not initiate any more contact.IP: Logged |
dustib
Knowflake Posts: 693
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted May 29, 2015 11:11 AM
Ok so I haven't been initiating contact with ML, in fact it has been pretty quiet on that front. He sent me a text last night and I just responded. He was quick to respond and say he was just saying hi....I said oh ok. Can you tell me what you see with him right now? Is he just trying to keep me on the line or trying to see how I will respond? So frustratingIP: Logged |
intuitivefish
Knowflake Posts: 2168
From: Europe
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted May 29, 2015 12:21 PM
I dont think you hold off for long enough, you think you will lose him but you got nothing to lose if you look at it.Now he knows he has you and still doesnt need to make effort. Try being even less available, dont reply for longer.. He sees that you still react to him so he feels safe in this little "game" and his bubble that you will be there any time he wishes IP: Logged |
dustib
Knowflake Posts: 693
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted May 29, 2015 12:50 PM
we have had a normal conversation today thru text. But I haven't mentioned anything about seeing him and refuse to. He will have to ask for that himself and make concrete plans...I don't think he will though. IP: Logged |
intuitivefish
Knowflake Posts: 2168
From: Europe
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted May 29, 2015 01:06 PM
Hope it works outIP: Logged |
dustib
Knowflake Posts: 693
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted May 29, 2015 01:08 PM
You are correct on me needing to think I have nothing to lose....because I don't. Did I mess everything up by texting him today? IP: Logged |
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