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posted June 13, 2015 11:51 AM            

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Some background: A couple years ago I developed an obsessive crush on a guy, D., and also a nearly-as-obsessive interest in his deceased first wife (& his seemingly weird reaction to her untimely death). He moved away in 2013, and I tried to forget about him, but I couldn't drop the plot idea I came up with based on his life (broadened into a much larger theme than just a silly crush and his weird behavior). I finally started writing the story last month, which feels great but also creepy. If I actually finish this thing (a big if), and decide that it's worthy of trying to get it published, and decide that it would be a good idea to be in D's good graces before publishing it, would he flip out at the "poetic liberties" I took with his life? I changed some of the details about him, but many of the more identifiable ones are crucial to the story. I don't want to be sued or anything!! But he may possibly like it too b/c he sort of, um, craves attention in a wee bit of a narcissistic sort of way. And would this story be a success?

Thanks and leave your questions!

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posted June 13, 2015 11:56 AM            

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I don't know if that's a good idea for that. People may say differently than me, but I see that I don't know if anyone will buy the story. I got an image of someone picked up the story an just looking at it. I don't know if it's interesting to them or not, but I just saw one person...

Maybe it's a good idea or maybe it's not?

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posted June 13, 2015 12:05 PM            

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Hi ILP. Thanks for your feedback. The book's larger theme involves an environmental topic & it turns into a thriller about halfway through....I don't want to make it sound like it is just about this crush, but maybe people won't like it anyway.
Let me know if you have a question.

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posted June 13, 2015 12:06 PM            

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If you decide to go through with it, I feel this story getting a lot of attention. It will be something a lot of people talk about but I don't see him being too happy, he will feel that it hits too close to home, and I sense a bit of anger/feeling of betrayal. I don't feel he will like this too much and want to keep a distance. I can't say yes or no that you should go through with it because it is your life and your choices, but I feel this book will get out and get attention, but you may not want to write too much about his story. Use inspiration from him, yes, but maybe use more imagination than all his details because he will not like it

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posted June 13, 2015 12:23 PM            

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Thanks JD, you're probably right. Last week I read an article about an annual fundraiser held in his wife's honor and I was struck by a feeling that what I was doing was wrong. The problem is that his occupation is crucial to a plot twist and the larger environmental theme, but maybe I can change the other details so it's not so close to home for him. I really don't want to get him mad. I can also see my longtime bf M getting mad too b/c a character is based on him. It's hard b/c I have a tendency to write about my own experiences, which are quite bizarre and seem beyond the capability of my imagination to dream up.
Thanks for your intuition everyone and let me know if you have q's

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posted June 13, 2015 12:36 PM            

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It seems like a really interesting story.

However, I don't think it's ethical to use someone else's personal life without their permission.

Especially since his wife has passed away. That's a really personal and private hardship he is going through.

He may think you are using his misery for your own personal gain.

I would talk to him before doing anything. Who knows, he might be okay with it or really angry that you started writing it before asking him.

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posted June 13, 2015 01:37 PM            

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Hmm, I'm thinking my best strategy is to fictionalize him beyond recognition. I found a website that states that an author may be subject to a libel lawsuit if they defame a character that is recognizable as a real person. D's character would be sketchy enough to skirt that boundary, so it'd be better to fictionalize him even more. Plus my bf would cr@p if I contacted him in the near future.

Another q...I finished a memoir several yrs ago. A well-published author told me it'd have a good chance of success if I changed the focus of it to some extent & self-published. I started revising it but didn't finish. This sounds dumb, but I started dreading my mom finding out about some of the less-than-stellar things I did in my 20s....esp one thing I did in retaliation against someone in grad school. I've read a lot of memoirs and it's nothing worse than the average regrettable acts that other people have written about, but for whatever reason I'm really ashamed. So question is, should I get my butt in gear, revise, remove this part & work on this book first? Or keep it intact and suck it up?

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posted June 13, 2015 01:40 PM            

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For some reason, I feel you should work on the book. There's something good about that makes me think it will be a good success.

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posted June 13, 2015 01:42 PM            

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ILP, do you mean the environmental thriller one I just started or the "old" memoir?

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posted June 13, 2015 02:22 PM            

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Memoir :3

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posted June 13, 2015 03:31 PM            

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Thx ILP, thought you meant that one but wanted to be 100% sure

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From: Neptune with PisceanDream, Faith, and Meissieri
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posted June 13, 2015 06:59 PM            

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I have some experience in publication, so I have to ask you more logistical questions: have you figured out where you plan to send it out for consideration to publishing companies?

Publishing is extremely difficult and takes a while before someone will give you a chance, and sometimes it is all a matter of timing and luck. You definitely want to make sure the company caters to your target population. Don't be surprised if you get rejected numerous times and takes several years to get someone interested.

I'd also recommend getting a beta reader to go over your stuff and check for grammar/spelling, plot cohesiveness, and character development. This can really help as you are continuing to write the story.

The identifiable part really defends on how detailed it is. If there is personal information then the company has to send him a pre-published version and he has to approve of the content. Just something to consider as well.

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posted June 14, 2015 11:31 PM            

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Thanks for your suggestions BF. For the memoir, I paid an editor to revise/proofread the manuscript, then submitted it to several literary agents. Some were enthusiastic, but ultimately there were no takers. I spoke to the author next, who suggested a more major revision plus going the Kindle/self-publishing route first, with the chance that a publisher would pick up the story if readership was strong. Then I wussed out!
But for this story I haven't looked that far down the road. Yes, it's all a long shot I guess. I should probably join a writer's group to help with my motivation & story development....

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From: Neptune with PisceanDream, Faith, and Meissieri
Registered: Sep 2013

posted June 14, 2015 11:44 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by threepoolsoflight:
Thanks for your suggestions BF. For the memoir, I paid an editor to revise/proofread the manuscript, then submitted it to several literary agents. Some were enthusiastic, but ultimately there were no takers. I spoke to the author next, who suggested a more major revision plus going the Kindle/self-publishing route first, with the chance that a publisher would pick up the story if readership was strong. Then I wussed out!
But for this story I haven't looked that far down the road. Yes, it's all a long shot I guess. I should probably join a writer's group to help with my motivation & story development....

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I would keep contacting publishers then, seek out advice, and keep trying. I would consider self-publication the last option. But....several people that have self-published have gotten their stories picked up, so you never know.

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