posted July 24, 2015 06:33 PM            

So anyway he has a girlfriend, but I don't think things are going very well between them, he never talks about her and the only time he's ever mentioned her to me was to say that he had the joy of getting woken up to getting screamed at "Where's my keys?!?!?!?!" at 5AM and I've heard some other stuff through a friend/coworker, plus I think she is moving away in the fall to go to school in a different city. I would never try anything not only because of that but because of so many reasons. But I do fantasize about him and check him out all the time (kinda want to go into detail about something here but don't know if it's TMI haha) and he makes me all nervous etc. So it's kinda torturous but I just try to appreciate his beauty. I know I am being kinda lustful here but I'm also very repsectful...

Anyway (almost done) the part I'm so confused about is the way he acts toward me, I think he is kinda playful/ a wee bit flirty with lots of females (but in a gentlemanly way if that makes sense? He's not a player..) he always randomly says things like we should do things together. Like he offered to help teach me drive and he did give me one lesson (which was both awesome and anxiety inducing, very good teacher btw) but his life has gotten really busy and it's kinda fell through. But he made an offhand comment to me that we should go camping for a week in the fall. Also my favorite band for the past 10 years is coming to my city for the first time ever in September to play at a music festival and he told me they were playing at it, then a couple days later asked me if we are going to go to it? And I can't tell what his game is, if he is just saying these things without any intention, or does he actually kinda want to do these things/ maybe even possibly like me / be the slightest bit attracted to me? Does he just like to be playful and flirty? I don't really understand flirting and can't really do it so I just don't know what's going on. But because I am so attracted to him it's actually kinda painful for me, even if nothing serious ever happens I want to know/understand what's happening here.

Any advice is welcomed and I can answer any questions. And I mean if anyone did want to do a reading I obviously wouldn't turn it down but I really need people who understand the male psyche a little better to help me understand his intentions. Thanks for reading!

ETA: We both have 12th house Venuses, in opposing signs though. He also has an 8th House Pisces Moon, (bless his dear heart, you can see it in his intensely smoldering eyes) and he is semi-psychic and has told me so and knows what I want sometimes without me saying and I've read the 8th house Moon is a psychic Moon. Do you think he knows I'm so attracted to him?

posted July 25, 2015 01:08 AM            

You mentioned that he is not a player but just comes across flirty unintentionally, be careful that you're not trying to brush these details away because it sounds like you're already falling for him. Just the fact that he has a girlfriend is already a huge red flag, keep your feelings on hold unless he's already broken up with her.

posted July 25, 2015 05:28 AM            

Go to the concert with him, by then his girlfriend has left and see what happens. Plus you can always ask.. Just ask if they are going to do a long distance relationship. Don't get with a cheater, dude, that just makes having an office affair worse.

posted July 25, 2015 06:24 AM            

I think the two things I can offer you as pieces of advice are:

1. Becareful about getting involved with someone who works with you. If things go sour, it will be difficult to cover up or even remedy. So, make sure you're prepared for this, BEFORE getting caught up in the situation (although by the sounds of your story, it's seems like you are somewhat already).

2. From what you've said, he has a girlfriend. Recognise and understand what this actually means. Fair enough, he may be going through a situation with her and they may not be on good terms now; but be weary of this!!!!! They say 'how you get them is how you lose them' and furthermore, I'm always sceptical of a guy who would prefer to keep dead weight (a failed/failing relationship) as opposed to get rid of it) - there has to be a reason behind this!!!

posted July 25, 2015 09:41 PM            

@LexusVirgo,
Thanks for the opinion. I am very curious to learn more about the 8th House Pisces Moon, it seems to me like a very deep and intense placement... and yes that is exactly what my 12th House Venus does, it wishes but never believes..

@SereneDaze,
Thank you. To answer your questions, I can think of a lot of reasons why people are with people when they are unhappy. Sometimes they are afraid to end it, sometimes they don't want to hurt the other person, sometimes they aren't totally sure what they want... There's lots. I stayed with a guy once and waited for him to break up with me because he was scary and I thought he would hurt me physically. I also stayed with my last ex who was a karmic soul mate of sorts because I wanted to help save him and because I was terrified of being alone again (I don't have family) and because our love had become very complicated, he was my best friend and our relationship became more of a companionship. I'm not meaning to be quick to assume, one of my closest friends is a guy who is friends with him and has mentioned a few other things. I mentioned his girlfriend going away in the fall because it seemed relevant because the things he keeps asking me to do would be in the fall, after she has left for school, so it seemed strange to me that that was the timing of the offhand remarks about we should do this or that. And also, of course I obviously would not be happy if my boyfriend was doing that, in fact I've had it happen and it's awful, not mention I have jealous tendencies in relationships, its something I'm constantly striving to improve and check myself on because it is a very unpleasant emotion to experience and it solves nothing for me. But these things happen sometimes. I don't think I can explain to you how awkward and shy I can be in person... I just want to reiterate, I have never tried anything, nor would I for one, due to self esteem issues that I am also striving to improve, but there are many other reasons. I don't even know how to flirt haha, I'm not kidding. He is the one who offered to teach me how to drive when I mentioned that I don't have any way to learn and I have never once asked him to do anything. When he offered to teach me to drive, I asked him, "Won't if bother your girlfriend?" and he looked kinda weird and shrugged it off and said "Why would it? She knows how to drive." I wanted to explain why it could possibly bother her because it seems obvious from my standpoint, I mean most women don't want their boyfriends making new female friends and making the effort to do/help them with things. But every relationship is different, some people care about things that others don't give a rat's a$$ about. I can't help the way I feel and I do my best to keep my feelings secret, I've been attracted to him for like 2 years but more in the past 8 months. I have lots of crushes when I'm single but when I'm in a relationship I'm very singular.

I also want to explain that I am not "falling for him" in the way you make it sound... I've fallen in love at first sight before and it tortured me for years because I could not do anything about it and had to keep it secret for years. This is not like that. I'm not looking for anything serious right now, I'm not ready for that. My last relationship was very devastating. If they broke up I would definitely be interested in something light and fun.

@HoodBlaze,
Haha I'm not going to go camping, I can't afford to take time off. I just found it weird that he would even say that offhand. I personally wouldn't say things like that offhand unless I liked someone, then again I would be too shy to ask/say that if I did. That's why I don't get if it just means nothing to him to say these things? You know how people sometimes say oh we should do this but then nothing ever happens...Or if he just thinks I'm cool and wants to be friends? Or is he attracted to me? I mean I don't get it, I can't tell if someone likes me or not unless they are very upfront and obvious about it. I'm not going to get with a cheater, and my work is the farthest thing from an office but I get what you mean.

@ikja,

Thank you very good advice all around! I guess I don't see whether he likes me or not as a side issue because I guess I want to know if he likes me or not, whether or not anything can happen, because I do not in general feel very comfortable in my body or very attractive so if someone I am attracted to reciprocates even if nothing can happen it helps with a little esteem boost. I KNOW this is not the path to self love, believe me I am working so hard on that, but a little self esteem boost here and there can work some wonders as well. Plus the whole situation just confuses me. Like I know how I would be an act if I liked someone and if I'm in a relationship but I don't always understand others, and he's a very hard read. I guess if he's so hard to read and the situation is so weird it's hard to paint a good picture of the situation. I just don't want it to come across like a home-wrecker, I just want to understand what's going on. Writing about it here and reading the responses has really helped me think more in depth about the situation and what I'm looking for and I also finally talked about it with a good friend today and he had good advice too.