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Author Topic:   Going through a break up........
meowpower
Knowflake

Posts: 108
From: Pennsylvania, USA
Registered: Feb 2014

posted October 06, 2015 10:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for meowpower     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can't seem to tell whether or not I'm being manipulative or if I'm just picking up the pieces. I was deeply in love & to be honest, I'm very upset and very hurt. The odd thing is that I was the one who broke up with him.

Do you ever just get a gut feeling about a relationship & you realize that no matter how much you want it to work out, destiny says the complete opposite.

It's so hard to be in love and let someone go like this, but I knew it had to be done. The only thing I'm left wondering is whether or not it was actually the right choice. What if things change years from now? But will things ever change if we continue to see each other? Will we ever both be in a position to have a real relationship or will we both continue down our predestined pathway?

I'm so disappointed, and the questions are endless.

I'm going to post both of our charts soon, if you can, please help me make some sense out of this. I feel so lost right now.

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meowpower
Knowflake

Posts: 108
From: Pennsylvania, USA
Registered: Feb 2014

posted October 06, 2015 10:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for meowpower     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Here is my chart:
http://i1117.photobucket.com/albums/k589/meowpower94/astro_2gw_01_anonymous.62398.30296_zpsgommsa2p.gif

Here is his chart:
http://i1117.photobucket.com/albums/k589/meowpower94/astro_2gw_41_anonymous.8363.63672_zps1oiznqkv.gif

Any information would be useful, whether it's synastry aspects, transits, progressions, etc. I just need a way to make sense out of all of this.

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gypsywander
Knowflake

Posts: 713
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2015

posted October 06, 2015 10:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for gypsywander     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sometimes you need to let things go in order to realize where things went wrong. Sometimes when we're so immersed in a situation we become blindsided by our own views and emotions and cannot see the situation as it is. I do think it was a good decision, you never know - he may come back.

Perhaps that the lesson of this relationship is to learn to let go, and then forgive the other and move on and/or restart the relationship. Sometimes people need distance to realize what they mean to them. To make them miss them, or realize what they had (not a bad thing!). It's a danger though when someone isn't willing to forgive, when that's the case, you may never see this person again...

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meowpower
Knowflake

Posts: 108
From: Pennsylvania, USA
Registered: Feb 2014

posted October 07, 2015 08:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for meowpower     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by gypsywander:
Sometimes you need to let things go in order to realize where things went wrong. Sometimes when we're so immersed in a situation we become blindsided by our own views and emotions and cannot see the situation as it is. I do think it was a good decision, you never know - he may come back.

Perhaps that the lesson of this relationship is to learn to let go, and then forgive the other and move on and/or restart the relationship. Sometimes people need distance to realize what they mean to them. To make them miss them, or realize what they had (not a bad thing!). It's a danger though when someone isn't willing to forgive, when that's the case, you may never see this person again...


Thank you so much for the support. & I think what our biggest problem is, is that his mother and sister don't agree to us being together (we're both men, and his family is very religious). His father didn't know we were dating the whole time, which was a huge problem for me because he does live with his dad & I can tell his dad loves him very much. I'm just tired of having relationships where I can't win. Then again, living in the area I do & being gay is a bad situation in the first place. But as far as me & him, I'm not sure he will ever forgive me for letting him go this time. This is the 5th time we broke up, all the other times were because of me. Something just doesn't feel right about our relationship, & his dad not knowing, & his family not supporting us, which is why I've let him go in the past. The only people who supported us being together was his brother and my immediate family. I was beginning to feel like a home wrecker, like I was taking this boy away from his family & showing him the dark side of life. I never wanted that. I just wanted for us to be able to love each other & exist outside of prejudice & disposition. But sometimes that can't happen. Regardless of how hard you try to make it work. I have began to realize this situation for what it is (as you said) & it made me less & less satisfied each time I would review it in my head. My head says no, my gut says no, my heart says yes; everyone around us doesn't care about anything but their own viewpoints on who we should be. I'm just lost and I want nothing more than to get out of this vicious cycle. But I don't really think I'm allowed to. I think that god is testing me, and I have no other choice than to cleanse myself of the situation & hope for the best :/ life can be really f*cked up sometimes

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gypsywander
Knowflake

Posts: 713
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2015

posted October 07, 2015 02:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for gypsywander     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by meowpower:
Thank you so much for the support. & I think what our biggest problem is, is that his mother and sister don't agree to us being together (we're both men, and his family is very religious). His father didn't know we were dating the whole time, which was a huge problem for me because he does live with his dad & I can tell his dad loves him very much. I'm just tired of having relationships where I can't win. Then again, living in the area I do & being gay is a bad situation in the first place. But as far as me & him, I'm not sure he will ever forgive me for letting him go this time. This is the 5th time we broke up, all the other times were because of me. Something just doesn't feel right about our relationship, & his dad not knowing, & his family not supporting us, which is why I've let him go in the past. The only people who supported us being together was his brother and my immediate family. I was beginning to feel like a home wrecker, like I was taking this boy away from his family & showing him the dark side of life. I never wanted that. I just wanted for us to be able to love each other & exist outside of prejudice & disposition. But sometimes that can't happen. Regardless of how hard you try to make it work. I have began to realize this situation for what it is (as you said) & it made me less & less satisfied each time I would review it in my head. My head says no, my gut says no, my heart says yes; everyone around us doesn't care about anything but their own viewpoints on who we should be. I'm just lost and I want nothing more than to get out of this vicious cycle. But I don't really think I'm allowed to. I think that god is testing me, and I have no other choice than to cleanse myself of the situation & hope for the best :/ life can be really f*cked up sometimes

I'm sorry to hear that things are rough with you right now in terms of relationships. But maybe it's time to consider a move? Maybe to a more gay-friendly neighborhood. That's what my friends who are gay do. Life is too short to deal with the crappy stuff... I know the gay community has it harder than the rest of us... but that doesn't mean heterosexual relationships don't have their own problems!

Age can be an issue, societal status, etc. all come into play with any type of relationship. I do think moving to a gay-friendly neighborhood will benefit you significantly.

But yes, I do agree with you that your partner shouldn't be hiding your relationship. That's a red flag in my opinion. Relationships that want to be successful need to be out in the open.

While, I am straight, I am myself, dealing with some prejudice and constrictions because my love interest is a former boss... If things ever develop as people say they should, I'm terrified by what people may think of us...

Things will get better, as the say it may not be this one, but if the lessons are learned the next one will be even better.

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SoaringLeaves
Knowflake

Posts: 350
From: Pluto's heart
Registered: Jun 2015

posted October 07, 2015 04:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SoaringLeaves     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi MeowPower,

I'm really sorry to hear you are so heartbroken.

Have you checked the *tertiary* progressions for yourself, for your partner, and for the Davison relationship chart between the two of you (you'll need to save this chart first before you can work with it)? Set the TP charts for the day when you two broke up and look for any planets or Nodes exactly (within 1 degree if you're sure of the birthtimes) conjunct the angles. Include Eris, MakeMake, Haumea, and Sedna (dwarf planets).

I'm mentioning this because once when I went through a heart-wrenching breakup, it turned out that my TP-Jupiter was exactly conjunct my TP-DESC, so clearly breaking up was the right thing for me at that moment. It just doesn't always feel that way...

Stay strong!

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