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Author Topic:   How do you deal with people who constantly accuse you of evil?
NYCdodger
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Registered: Aug 2013

posted November 12, 2015 05:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NYCdodger     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Its painful to be a genuinely good person and then have people falsely accuse and judge you of wrong-doings. Or they see you as a negative influence because they don't like how you carry or express yourself. I've been dealing with these issues since childhood..I found myself at times apologizing for things i didn't even need to be apologizing for. It would drive me mad! lol

I've learned that ones character is determined by how he/she experiences the best of life in this present moment. But I know for a fact that many of those who truly have a heart for good know what its like to be seen as "bad" for no rational reason at all. Or to constantly be taken the wrong way by suspicious people..

How do you guys deal with these energies? Knowing who you are regardless of outside forces...

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poochycat
Knowflake

Posts: 1654
From: Vancouver, Canada
Registered: Jun 2013

posted November 12, 2015 07:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for poochycat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi NYD

You remind me a little of myself up until my teenage years. I would try desperately to make friends, and yes, apologize for things that someone else did wrong and get taken advantage of big time all in the quest to get people just to accept me.

I have been reading some of your e-mails and you sound like a very sweet person. You are not evil. Perhaps a low esteem issue is at play, groan. I guess it all comes down to liking yourself, having respect for yourself before others can like and respect you. Don't mean to sound harsh, it's just something a very dear and real friend once told me and I am sharing it with you Poochy

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NYCdodger
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posted November 12, 2015 07:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NYCdodger     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by poochycat:
Hi NYD

You remind me a little of myself up until my teenage years. I would try desperately to make friends, and yes, apologize for things that someone else did wrong and get taken advantage of big time all in the quest to get people just to accept me.

I have been reading some of your e-mails and you sound like a very sweet person. You are not evil. Perhaps a low esteem issue is at play, groan. I guess it all comes down to liking yourself, having respect for yourself before others can like and respect you. Don't mean to sound harsh, it's just something a very dear and real friend once told me and I am sharing it with you Poochy


I've always been confident in myself. I just hate having to constantly explain myself for BEING myself. I've been in plenty of fights and arguments with people who "try" to test me, its annoying. I've had friends who have thrown dirt on my name and I had to deal with them personally because of it. It just doesn't make sense to me thats all. But I know its a common thing so I just wanted to know how some of you guys deal with not allowing these energies to really steal your joy. Because when i know I have good intents and I'm constantly being judged (especially when I KNOW I can easily judge them back) it irritates and even drains me. I've been dealing with this since childhood so I'm getting used to it. I just wish I can sometimes record myself to see what it is thats making people act like this. Or maybe its their own insecurity. Who knows..

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poochycat
Knowflake

Posts: 1654
From: Vancouver, Canada
Registered: Jun 2013

posted November 12, 2015 08:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for poochycat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hello,

Maybe this wasn't the response that you wanted but I did respond trying to help. That's what lindaland is all about. A THANK YOU would have been nice.

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NYCdodger
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Registered: Aug 2013

posted November 12, 2015 08:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NYCdodger     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by poochycat:
Hello,

Maybe this wasn't the response that you wanted but I did respond trying to help. That's what lindaland is all about. A THANK YOU would have been nice.


I wasn't attacking your comment at all. Was just further sharing my story. Thank you lol

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Orange
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Posts: 3279
From: Georgia
Registered: May 2009

posted November 12, 2015 09:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Orange     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^^^^^ Lol.
Actually, It's not funny because I can see you are struggling with finding an answer to the question in the op. But here It happened again, NYD. You had to apologize again, in your thread.. I dont see anything wrong in your response, but ppl interpret your energy in a different way, it seems

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NYCdodger
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posted November 12, 2015 09:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NYCdodger     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Orange:
^^^^^ Lol.
Actually, It's not funny because I can see you are struggling with finding an answer to the question in the op. But here It happened again, NYD. You had to apologize again, in your thread.. I dont see anything wrong in your response, but ppl interpret your energy in a different way, it seems

Idk why. Its like when I'm being myself (some not all) people get uncomfortable. When I try to compromise, I get uncomfortable lol. I will never compromise myself no matter what, I love who I am, and so do my friends and family. But all my life I've been trying to understand what it is exactly that makes some people tick the way they do..I know some of you guys can relate..

Its like you know who you are and what you're here to do, but people want to throw something else and put you in a particular category that you know totally isn't you. Then those same people have the nerve to come back around and say you've "changed" when in actuality nothing has changed at all lol. Must be a Saturn in 12th house thing...

Ok, I'm going to stop. I hope you didn't take anything the wrong way pooch

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Astro keen
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Posts: 3877
From: UK
Registered: Nov 2012

posted November 12, 2015 10:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Astro keen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
NY,

I didn't see anything in your response for anyone to take offence. Maybe it is certain people who feel threatened.

I am guessing that it is people who need more 'stroking', or recognition - that is people who are not secure within themselves. The sight of you as a secure person may be a threat to them. For example, you may not be liked by family members who are less intelligent than you. Their dislike is evidence of their insecure egos.

It is very important to value yourself, and not play dumb. You are bound to come across people who are more like you and appreciate you. There may be just a few but they are the ones you need to believe. Or you may move to a place where you feel 'at home'.

Btw, this thread would be better in the 'Sweet peas' forum.

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MinceyMouse
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posted November 12, 2015 10:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MinceyMouse     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I really don't get the response to the OP. Either way, it's best to stop apologizing until you actually mean it. Keep to your values and move away from people who don't understand it.

It's hard to do at first, and then you get a swing of things. It can be lonely, but honestly, live life on your terms and there is no need to be compelled into saying or doing something just because someone thinks it 'the' way to act.

Keep your head high, and be humble. That's all I can say. Stop putting too much thought into how people in your peer group perceive you. Yes, you will be called a female dog, inhuman, insensitive, crazy etc- but nothing, I mean nothing, compares to being true to yourself.

You're not Canadian, are you?

I'm scuttling off. Night!

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NYCdodger
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posted November 12, 2015 10:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NYCdodger     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Astro keen:
NY,

I didn't see anything in your response for anyone to take offence. Maybe it is certain people who feel threatened.

I am guessing that it is people who need more 'stroking', or recognition - that is people who are not secure within themselves. The sight of you as a secure person may be a threat to them. For example, you may not be liked by family members who are less intelligent than you. Their dislike is evidence of their own stupidity and insecure egos.

It is very important to value yourself, and not play dumb.

Btw, this thread would be better in the 'Sweet peas' forum.


Thanks for your reply. I was wondering if this was the right place to post this, but I was unsure.

I never liked feeling better than others or worse than others. I always felt happy when everyone felt totally and 100 percent equal to one another and thats my problem. Its just not realistic. Its hard for me to understand why someone would try so hard to "prove" that they are better (unless they actually had something to prove of course) than someone else to make themselves feel good. And I try my best to not get caught up in those thoughts because I know it can send one down a very crooked path.

I guess you can say I wish we lived in a world where everyone can focus on being the greatest version of themselves without feeling like one is in the way of the other and vice-versa. Everyone appreciates everything about the other and can be inspired by it. But then again thats just not realistic. If theres a word or two I can say to describe how i feel from all of this, it would more than likely be that I feel misunderstood and heart-broken. But i know its just something i have to deal with.

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NYCdodger
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posted November 12, 2015 10:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NYCdodger     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MinceyMouse:

You're not Canadian, are you?


Lol nah. NYC born and raised

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poochycat
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Posts: 1654
From: Vancouver, Canada
Registered: Jun 2013

posted November 13, 2015 01:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for poochycat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey listen up guys, I didn' take any offense to NYC's answer, what I didn't like was the fact that I answered him and no thank you. I couldn't figure out how to ask a question with tarot but NYC, I was just reaching out to help because when someone is new, well you are fairly new, it's my way of saying "welcome to the board" I will give you your first reading. I was just a bit upset that there was no thank you. I'm not the least bit insecure astro. I am semi retired now but held a position as an executive position with a staff of over seventy. If I was insecure I don't think I would have lasted very long. I am now in my mid sixties. NYC I hope you find happiness, I was only trying to help and I feel some readers are making this more than it is. Poochy

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Bear9
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posted November 13, 2015 01:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bear9     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Laughing at the Canadian thing because I am...lol Have had same problem as OP.

I saw that swift trick initial response of kindness followed by a kick. Yeah. That kind of thing. Avoid those people.And yes I am calling that out publicly because it's sad and hurtful especially given topic at hand.

As others said, stay positive and don't put your time or energy into those people and do not respond to them. Walk.away. Stay focused on your own thing, do your own thing, stick with people who love you or at least like you for your true self and feel comfortable to be around. Anyone who is judging or testy with you or competing - ignore without fanfare and just move on. Take the focus off them for your own happiness. Don't say anything to them, just move on.

This is how life works. People are constantly trying to assert their dominance, influence, show of power, etc. etc. etc. It's nauseating and exhausting when you're a good soul genuinely seeing everyone equal. Truth is, people don't want to be equal. They want to be better than their neighbour.

Don't play into others way of living. You're good the way you are. Just be you, and if they don't like it, let them move on. Ignoring them works better than anything else.

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poochycat
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From: Vancouver, Canada
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posted November 13, 2015 01:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for poochycat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh Mincey, btw, I'm Canadian LOL.

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hannaramaa
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posted November 13, 2015 01:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Remember that thing I said about presence? 😊

Anyway, you would (maybe not) be surprised how many people are insecure in this world and they can't handle someone who's confident. I can sense that frustrating block you have, the "I don't get it" and when you get to that point it's about other people, and their issues. How do you deal with it? It's normal to want to feel harmonious and have a good rapport with others and to be bothered when you don't. It's okay to be bothered. It doesn't mean you're insecure or needy or any of that. Just don't dwell on it, keep yourself busy, focus on your owm **** and devote your energy to people who appreciate it. You'll eventually forget about the initial upset.

For me, u less it's black and white in my face, I don't even realize when people are trying to drag me down. My head is sooooooo not in that space or mindset that I'd be obliviois to it if I weren't inuitive. I'm objective enough now that it's funny to me and I just move on woth my thoughts and day when it happens.

Hope this helps 😊

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SophiasChoice
Knowflake

Posts: 146
From: Land of the Midnight Sun
Registered: Jul 2015

posted November 13, 2015 01:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SophiasChoice     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Bear9:

This is how life works. People are constantly trying to assert their dominance, influence, show of power, etc. etc. etc. It's nauseating and exhausting when you're a good soul genuinely seeing everyone equal. Truth is, people don't want to be equal. They want to be better than their neighbour.

Well said!


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msheart
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Posts: 191
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Registered: Nov 2014

posted November 13, 2015 04:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for msheart     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Idk.. if this would seem off topic or not

(though, I read every single comment here..)

What I can just say is that.. NYC...

Just ignore each and everyone of them and do whatever you want =))))))) People will hate you, ignore you, treat you like trash and crap - it happens. Life is no fairy tale after all. Don't give your power into such negativity for it to not affect you and you don't have to care what they think of you or say to you - you don't need to prove yourself to anyone.

At the end of the day - as you learn and grow - that's the end point of what you will learn and realised anyway. The only thing you have at the end is yourself. If you lose yourself with these kind of situations and people - how can you survive the real world? Right?

Oh.. and this is my way to cheer you up and tell you that.. it's okay. :) Hmmmm... if it makes you feel better I was usually hated (well. girls did.. boys don't lol - and that's exactly why, lol) but.. I didn't really care (well, I did.. like.. 1 or 2 yrs - I'd probably say 1yr and a half, lol) until I just didn't care anymore lol.. It is what I call and tell my friends the..

"The Art of Not Caring" =)) Which ended up people calling me the "Ice Queen" and "Heartbreaker" - not that I went with each and every guy - I actually didn't, lol.. but I am sort of "slow" in picking up when someone has intention that most girl would think I am purposely just hurting "their crushes and guys they like" lol. (I didn't even realised whenever I enter college everyone talks about me and even with people I have no idea who, lol)

Can you imagine yourself - going into a crowd where in you know everyone was looking at you - probably looking down at you - probably saying nasty things at you - backstabbing you - your so-called friends in the past being indifferent with you - etc.. I've experienced that.. but it really wasn't a big deal than how it was before though (I didn't feel exactly that bad anyway since I had my fair of experience in HS lol) so I was used to it.. I don't care.. and for some reason.. by not caring, it brought me to "those" who are true to me.

Plus, not caring actually made me more confident than ever (Not that I didn't have any - but it got escalated or so my friends would say - which is not a bad thing - it makes those other people doing that stuff - look pathetic as a lot of people get charmed by you.) And when you don't care.. Lol.


You'll be more happier. :)
For me, they like me - hate me - whatever, I don't care. I thank those people but its not like I am going to attached to what other people will tell me whether its good or bad.


THe only thing you should remember is that... you only have yourself. (This forum is wonderful and Idk.. for me everyone seemed nice though a lot of people would say its not how it used to be.. etc - some quits.) But anyway - it is a wonderful community support group. Your family, friends - no one is permanent to stay with us - but ourselves this is something and someone - we can't turn our back on.

So if you are weak right now.. there's no any other options and any other way but to stand up and be stronger. :) People will come and go - it's a natural thing. We just need to live with it. Get on with it. Be happy and Enjoy life. :)

Blessings! <3


PS. Yeah :)) I didn't know if I made sense but.. I really did honestly want to put this put there for you - and for anyone who would seem to think - its something they needed to read as well... and if you are not happy (well, I don't care either, haha! :P)

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NYCdodger
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posted November 13, 2015 10:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for NYCdodger     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey I just wanna THANK EVERYONE for all of these dope, and incredible comments. I'm glad I can relate to you guys

Im going to save this thread on my computer and read it every now and again when I'm feeling bothered..

This is a tricky phase for me. And Pluto moonwalking in my 11th/12th houses hasn't been making it easier. But like all of my other phases in life I know I will overcome it eventually. Maybe my mind is purifying itself and finally letting go of old junk from the past, but Imma pull through.

Thanks again y'all...

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