Posts: 1652
From: canada
Registered: Feb 2012

posted November 26, 2015 10:10 PM            

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It's been months since I've been single haven't dated or talked to any guys since I decided to recover from my breakup and work on myself...All I do these days is go to work and study. I'm sort of missing the excitement of romance (you know the butterfly in your stomach honeymoon high you get)

My question is: Will I experience romance anytime soon? Or any type of excitement in my life? I just feel like things have been too stable & routine...Emotionally heavy too.

Forgot to mention: Willing to exchange.

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Posts: 3424
From: Georgia
Registered: May 2009

posted November 26, 2015 10:40 PM            

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my cards don't show much excitement soon, Milley. But it shows balance and stability in your life, pretty much the same. Staying at home during your free time where you find solace.
The cards also show that you still havent moved on from your ex.
Was there another woman involved?
This shall pass too, thou..Hang in there.

Man-Snake-Whip-Anchor-House

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Posts: 1652
From: canada
Registered: Feb 2012

posted November 26, 2015 10:47 PM            

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Thank you. I think I am suffering from depression...2015 has been tough on me, emotionally I feel drained. It's a struggle for me to move on from my ex, since it ended so badly and I never got the closure I wanted. There was no other woman involved, I was the one who left him but I miss him everyday and I miss how things used to be because I am not happy with my life right now. I drown myself in work to keep busy but I don't like this life I am living...I miss my old life with him even if it was dysfunctional...It was the happiest and fun years of my life so I'm sort of grieving how I used to live and my old identity. Everyday was a party with him but now it's like everyday is responsibility...Like it's a sober experience good for the long term but for now it's not fun.

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Posts: 3424
From: Georgia
Registered: May 2009

posted November 26, 2015 10:51 PM            

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why did it end? Can it be reconciled?

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Posts: 1792
From: Vancouver, Canada
Registered: Jun 2013

posted November 26, 2015 10:53 PM            

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Hi Milly,

I will add to Orange's reply.

8 of swords, the devil, the star, *hermit

The eight of swords is showing that you may have some fear in moving forward. You just don't want to get hurt again even though you would like another relationship so you are holding back. The devil also is showing a lot of restrictions placed upon yourself like a self- inflicted bondage. The star your future card is excellent. This is a good time to meet someone new and it could happen at any time. Since the holidays are right around the corner accept all invitations even if you think it might be boring. O.K. your clarifier card, the hermit, is showing a romance from the past MAY be re-kindled but you have to ask yourself if this is what you really want. Don't forget that ex's are ex's for a reason. No exchange at this time, thank you.

Poochy

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Posts: 1652
From: canada
Registered: Feb 2012

posted November 26, 2015 11:02 PM            

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I ended it because...things were going from bad to worst in his life. He was having a lot of problems in his life. He couldn't find a job, was having major financial issues and he went back to selling drugs,a life I wanted him to quit so badly. He then sort of was going through something...he was feeling more and more negative/depressed was pushing me away. I knew that if I stayed I would get dragged down with him so I left.

At first I felt liberated but then I found out that ever since I left him he is on drugs 24/7...I feel sad because I left him as a wake up call to change his life but things just got worst for him.

He has a lot of hatred towards me for leaving him, I truly wanted to stay friends with him because I truly want him to snap out of his self destruction and I guess it kills me to see him going down this path because I still love him despite it all and I just want him to be ok because I care.

My biggest fear is that he will die from the drugs he is taking...I came into his life, almost changed him, I was the only good influence around him. But I had to leave, I had to protect myself and think about me.

It's been tough on me and I constantly pray that things will be okay in the future. We have a strong bond, I still feel his energy despite the distance. I just worry about him alot.

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Posts: 1652
From: canada
Registered: Feb 2012

posted November 26, 2015 11:05 PM            

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Thank you both for the reading. I obviously have a lot of issues I have to work on...It will probably take me a good year to work through my emotions, especially letting go of the past.

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Posts: 3424
From: Georgia
Registered: May 2009

posted November 26, 2015 11:19 PM            

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well..
Be proud of yourself for having the strength to get out of this situation before it was too late. Do not regret it one bit even thou I understand the sentimental value attached to it. We all have been there. He is responsible for his life and he would have only dragged you down with him if you stayed longer.

There are several phases people usually go thru when experiencing loss and grief in their life. First is the Denial stage. Then is the Bargaining stage. Then comes the Anger stage. Then is the Depression stage. Last is ACCEPTANCE stage. Only after you go thru each one of them, you will be able to move on. You are almost there, at the final stage.

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Posts: 1652
From: canada
Registered: Feb 2012

posted November 26, 2015 11:27 PM            

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I feel like my grief comes and goes like waves. Some days I feel fine and then there are other days when I miss him terribly. It swings back and forth from feeling independent, strong and empowered to feeling like there is a hole in my heart and having random memories flash through my mind.

I will be able to get to the acceptance stage, it's going to take time.

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Posts: 1792
From: Vancouver, Canada
Registered: Jun 2013

posted November 27, 2015 11:07 AM            

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Hi Milly,

I too am very happy that you got out of this situation. You could never save him. This is something that he has to want to do himself. There are support groups out there for you to help yourself. Similar to Al anon. Or perhaps they help those that have been involved with an individual that is a drug addict as well. This is going to be very difficult to do on your own. I feel you have a very caring personality in which you could become involved with another person with addictive problems. Take care. You can always chat on LL. Poochy

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Posts: 8226
From: Brooklyn, New York
Registered: May 2012

posted November 28, 2015 07:44 AM            

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Wow, sorry that you had to go through that . It sounds like you miss him, but you deserve much better (someone with a stable job, education, etc). Someone that makes you feel they are the whole package for you. I hope you find the one soon xox

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