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Author Topic:   I'm so friggin' scared to ask THIS.
bella_taurus
Knowflake

Posts: 452
From: Minneapolis, MN, USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted December 28, 2015 02:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bella_taurus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Okay....

Here goes.

I met this guy. His name is "B". We met on an online dating site several weeks ago and needless to say its been a whirlwind. We have not met yet, but we will in a few weeks. He was born in Norway, but lives in Chicago and is currently in South Africa for work until the end of January. You guys know my story, as much as I have posted about my love woes on the boards in hopes of finding some solace about feeling so love-lorned. Okay, so since the first meeting is coming up, I have been feeling so scared. Scared of the stigma of meeting someone online. Personally, I think he is wonderful, very spirited, and well traveled. He has even asked me to join him on his travels and to meet his adorable son. There is nothing about him that seems shady, odd, or even off. He's just a good guy with a good heart looking for love, like me. The empress-warrior side of me wants to protect my heart because I am scared ******** of getting catfished, hurt, or even duped. We have talked everyday since the first meeting and have not skipped a beat. There is a part of me that is hoping on the highest of hopes that this works out, but is there another part that is like...."girl, please, you are living in a dream world" I think that is my Neptune in 7th house 2015 Solar Return placement telling me to wake the **** up and smell the coffee.

So........

I come here to ask if someone can do a reading about this. Like I said, I am scared ******** to know that I am living in a dream world and B will show up as a skeezy old man in his late 50's with bad intentions.

Please. Help this woman out.

Ugh.

Thank you.

My birthdate 4-21-1980

His :10-19-1973

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Elysia
Knowflake

Posts: 386
From:
Registered: Aug 2015

posted December 28, 2015 03:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Elysia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I hope that's not his real name you're posting.

*bump* for answers.

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FairyDust75
Knowflake

Posts: 2530
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted December 28, 2015 03:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for FairyDust75     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can't offer you a reading but only some advice. I've done online dating for a long time now. It's scary and hard to know who to trust if you can trust. Where are you supposed to meet? See if he will come to you for the first meeting and if you are uncomfortable bring someone with you. Have you skyped or video chatted in some way to see one another? You need to do that first. If he can't or won't it could be a red flag. I say you have nothing to lose by meeting him. It could be something great for all you know. But take someone with you if you feel uncomfortable. That's the best advice I can offer you. Meet up and see how the chemistry is. Spend a little time together before you run off with him

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bella_taurus
Knowflake

Posts: 452
From: Minneapolis, MN, USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted December 28, 2015 04:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bella_taurus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by FairyDust75:
I can't offer you a reading but only some advice. I've done online dating for a long time now. It's scary and hard to know who to trust if you can trust. Where are you supposed to meet? See if he will come to you for the first meeting and if you are uncomfortable bring someone with you. Have you skyped or video chatted in some way to see one another? You need to do that first. If he can't or won't it could be a red flag. I say you have nothing to lose by meeting him. It could be something great for all you know. But take someone with you if you feel uncomfortable. That's the best advice I can offer you. Meet up and see how the chemistry is. Spend a little time together before you run off with him

I have asked him to Skype a few times and he has said that he does not have it downloaded on his ipad, but he sends me pictures regularly. But...after reading this reply, I did put my foot down and ask him if he wants to Skype tonight and for us to chat more about what's going on. I am beginning to feel really embarrassed right now.

Seriously.

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St@r2013
Knowflake

Posts: 2143
From:
Registered: Jun 2013

posted December 28, 2015 05:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for St@r2013     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey Bella,

I don't think you should worry - just be smart about it - meet with him in a crowded place and tell him ahead of time you'll have to leave after 2 hours cause you have something else on.. That way if you come and he's not what you expected it's only 2 hours and if you're enjoying yourself just tell him it's okay you can stay longer..

I had a few dates with guys online - I usually don't chat with them more than a week - and then we'd meet for coffee in a crowded place and all my dates were fine.

It's actually better to meet earlier than later because the longer you chat with him the longer you create an image in your mind which might not represent him exactly.

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FairyDust75
Knowflake

Posts: 2530
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted December 28, 2015 07:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for FairyDust75     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ok so it takes 2 minutes to download Skype on an iPad. This give me some reservations. Pictures can come from anywhere. I would try to push the whole Skype thing a bit more.

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dustib
Knowflake

Posts: 1198
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2015

posted December 28, 2015 08:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for dustib     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
would totally be worried if he's not willing to skype. Too many people steal pics off of others people facebook. And I'm sorry but the whole story seems off.....would you really invite someone to meet your kid when you don't even know them? I think you are getting caught up in what could be and not what really is.....too many red flags in my head for this one.

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bella_taurus
Knowflake

Posts: 452
From: Minneapolis, MN, USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted December 30, 2015 05:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bella_taurus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
***UPDATE***

As of 1:35pm today, I called it QUITS.

He informed me a few days ago, he was in danger of losing his "contract" with this construction firm because he went over budget, he was in dire straights and needed $17,500 sent to him to access his funds in the states to finish his "amazing" project...RED FLAG??? I think so.

Then...

I find his Facebook and his last name was different from the one he sent me via email, I found out other discrepancies as well. I called him today on my lunch break, cussed him out something ugly and wished him better luck with the next victim.

Lesson learned, and I have no one to blame but myself.

Just to pay it forward for any woman that comes across this slug on OKcupid.com...he goes by TWO different names... BRADLEY JOHNSON or BRADLEY A. BARNES. BEWARE of this man PLEASE.

...Moving on.


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Vivi327
Knowflake

Posts: 1415
From:
Registered: Jul 2014

posted December 30, 2015 05:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Vivi327     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Don't be so hard on yourself. Thank God you found out in time, I'm sure you will take this as a lesson learned.

*hugs*

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FairyDust75
Knowflake

Posts: 2530
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013

posted December 30, 2015 05:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for FairyDust75     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hugs to you. I'm sorry this happened to you. At least you found out before it escalated. Unfortunately this can happen sometimes. I suggest using spokeo.com as a way to investigate people. You can find out anything about a person by their name, email or phone number.

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Julz87
Knowflake

Posts: 1605
From: Over the Rainbow
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 30, 2015 10:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Julz87     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm in :O
WOW

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bella_taurus
Knowflake

Posts: 452
From: Minneapolis, MN, USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted December 30, 2015 10:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bella_taurus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Julz87:
I'm in :O
WOW

I know.

I'm embarrassed. I have quite the love life, huh?

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athenaia
Knowflake

Posts: 450
From: USA
Registered: May 2015

posted December 30, 2015 10:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for athenaia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by FairyDust75:
Hugs to you. I'm sorry this happened to you. At least you found out before it escalated. Unfortunately this can happen sometimes. I suggest using spokeo.com as a way to investigate people. You can find out anything about a person by their name, email or phone number.

Intelius is also really awesome too. I don't online date but I had a sneaking suspicion someone in my life was lying to me about their age and I found out that they were born 8 years earlier then they said they were! Insane.

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Julz87
Knowflake

Posts: 1605
From: Over the Rainbow
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 30, 2015 11:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Julz87     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by bella_taurus:
I know.

I'm embarrassed. I have quite the love life, huh?


Don't be embarrassed, it can happen to anyone <3
My sister tried online dating supposedly a nice guy - no social networking profiles turns out the guy had many rape stuff on his record when she ran his background check. The meeting never transpired, I'm glad it didn't who knows what may have happened.

I'm glad you're ok <3

P.S weird you mention Neppy in your 7th house solar..I'm gonna go have a look at mine now.

@athenia- wow! who lies about their age!!

Also in regards to images ladies for those of you who online date...there is that feature on google that does reverse image look up, use it!

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